KSA Challenges

These challenges, which are listed here in chronological order, are open to all members of KSA; any time limits you see can be disregarded.  You may also suggest your own challenge to the list.

Dyevka's Vampire Challenge
Ares; Hades; Iolaus; light bondage; outdoor location; rain; voyeurism; blood; plot required! minimum 500 words; maximum 10, 000 words.

Lisa's Ares in Our Time Challenge
Let's bring Ares into Our Time and let him visit each of us and see who comes up with the best stuff.

Nemetona's Vampire Challenge
Ares is bitten by a vampire.  Being a god the effect is only temporary but while he is under the influence... full moon; wooden stake; black cloak; 1000 words or thereabout; oral sex.

Tham' Time Travel Challenge
Iphicles; a rope; a theft; cameo by Autolycus; time travel; a friendly dog; 4 lines of poetry. Smut level:  up to you (none or PWP).  Word count:  up to you.

Miz Kelly's Challenge
Ares; Hercules; Iolaus; Nebula; three way sexual orgy, one hetero element; bondage with chains; blood; ship's captain; max 10, 000 words.

lis' Strife 'n' Stuff Challenge
Strife; Dagger; Cupid's feather; Auto's cologne.

Miz Kelly's Herc/Ares Sex Challenge
Hercules and Ares are discussing their sex lives, trying to see who is the best. Write cumplete sexual encounter for each man, and then Iolaus must decide who the winner is.  Whether it's straight or slash is up to you, but it can NOT be with each other--i.e.Hercules can't tell about the time he fucked Ares and Ares cannot tell about the time he fucked Hercules. fifty thousand word limit.

Arebella's Het Challenge
Writers who specialize in slash fiction must produce a het sex story.

Tham's Anti-Perv Challenge
Iphicles and/or Ares; A pie-eating contest; Two groundhogs; A talking bird; One of the Spice Girls; No explicit sex or violence. 500 words MAX.  Short!!!

Tham's Fairy Tale Challenge
Rework a fairytale, adding characters from the Xenaverse.

Tham's Egyptian Challenge
Ares; a pyramid; a king (not necessarily Iphicles); a precious jewel; a monkey; a magician; true love.  Sex optional.  Not longer than 10 000 words and no time limit.

lis' Cheer Me Up Challenge
Ares pisses off the wrong old goddess (anyone whoisn't Greek or Roman) and is turned back into a child (4-10 years), powerless except for Hercules-style strength, and/or Evander's levitation trick.  Herc&Iolaus, (Xena&Gabby optional) must babysit him until someone reverses the spell.  No explicit sex, though CoE-style suggestive is allowed, even prefered.  Approximately 2-10 pages.  Minimum violence possible.  Ares must refer to Hercules as "Big Bwother" (not a typo) at leasttwo times, and Ares must fall asleepin Iolaus' lap at least once.

CW's Sal as Stud Challenge
Write a story where poor, aligned Salmoneus is the stud!  Slash, gen, doesn't matter. But Sal has toget the girl (or boy, as your taste may be). Autolyci and leather-or-drag optional.  No word limit, but has to contain the phrase, "Where's the string that Theseus laid".

Thiel's Repair Man Challenge
Ares shows up at your house/condo/apt./whatever as a repair man   (try to stay away from "plumber") The challenge should include: the Sexy Stud; a tool of the trade; a glass of something at or around 1000 words. Sex of whatever type is optional.

Thiel and Tham's Shackles Challenge
2 chained studs; jealousy; light bondage; feather torture; 2 chambers; 2 beds; 2 women; Plot. Under 5000 words.

Tham's Peeping Challenge
Ares in a voyeuristic scenario (he HAS to be the peeper!)  You can choose the people he watches (he can peep at m/m, f/f, m/f...), and he's allowed to join in. But there must be masturbation-to-orgasm first! No longer than 5000 words.

Tham's Detective Challenge
Sub figures from classic detective fiction with characters from the Herc/Xenaverse.  Think Hercules Poirot (Autolycus?); Miss Marple (Gabs?); Holmes and Waton (LOL! Anybody); Dalziel and Pascoe, etc... Mystery required.  Sex optional (but always good!) Under 5000 words.

TeeRoo's The Descendants Challenge
At the end of The Xena Scrolls Joxer's descendant was a writer pitching various ideas to a  producer. Now lets say that he becomes a permanent writer for the show Let's also say that a descendant of Ares came on to the show as an actor, playing say Iphiclys (Herc's brother) Now Joxer's descendant and Ares' descendant do not like each other Joxer's descendant thinks Ares' descendant is stuckup  Ares' descendant thinks Joxer's descendant is a hack They get into an arguement one day in Joxer's descendant's office. They fight. They get excited. They have sex.Ares shows up. He is pissed. But Jaque Ser (Joxer's descendant) was the one who released him from his rison/cave/ thing. So Joxer's descendant and Ares' descendant live happily ever after.

TeeRoo's The Orgy to Save Strife Challenge
Ares descovers that if the parents of Strife, the lord of Strife, and the children of Strife have sex that he will be reborn through the mother of Strife.  Now the parents of Strife are no problem. Discord and _Choose the father_ would be happy to sleep with anyone.*He*  was no problem. He had actually missed his nephew, sex was fine It was the children of Strife that would be a problem. He didn't  know if Strife had children. He would have to ask the Fates. He does and discovers that Stryfe did indeed have children 3 of them infact: Jace, Jett, and Joxer... So have Ares persuade them to participate in the orgy Only one rule: Joxer and Ares have to go  together.

Sim's Christmas Challenge
It's the night before winter solstice (Christmas) and Ares decides to be Santa Claus... describe what he's brought you, what he's wearing, and how he gets you to unwrap his "package" before Christmas day! No word limit, no time limit, no anything limit.

Dawn's Ares, God of Sex Challenge
How many times have we said it?  Everyone agrees that it's the perfect title for him - so what if it were true?  What if, somehow, he changed jobs and actually was the god of sex instead of the god of war?  What might cause that?  How would he handle it?

Dawn's Romantic Caesar Challenge
Sounds like a contradiction, doesn't it? Caesar is always so cold and calculating it's hard to imagine him in a romantic situation, but anything's possible, right? Surely there's somebody out there that can really get through to him, but who? Your choice, although it'd be nice if you could work Iphy or Ares into the story somehow.

Ry's Avenging the Passing of Iolaus Challenge
Ares (who else?!); Herc (well, he is the guy's partner); Iphy (cause they look good together..copper and blond); Iolaus (ghost, spirit, real thing, whatever); TPTB (kill!). Also, mentioning Dite, Discord and Auto in there someplace. PG, R, NC-17, call the police ratings, don't care, just put some violence in there.

Allison's Blake's 7 Challenge
Would anyone like to try to write a crossover with Blake's 7?  I think it could be interesting or at least funny to contrast the crew of  Blake's 7 with Ares, or more of the greek gods.  It would also be interesting to find a way to get them together as well.

Neme's Death-by-Poison Challenge
The two men lay side by side on the bed. Unmoving, they gazed into each other's eyes. The length of their naked bodies were pressed together but no words were spoken. Fingers met and intertwined, drawing and giving comfort. The poison in their system was starting to work but they were past caring. Initially, when they realised they were doomed they had railed against fate, searching for  an escape, but, in these last few hours of life they had found each other. Knowing  time was short they had overcome barriers andadmitted their love. It no longer mattered how the world would judged them, all that mattered was their love.

Obsidian Rogue's Doll and Chocolate Challenge
Write a story using Iphie, Cupie, and a Life-Size Ares Doll Dripping in Chocolate (tm). Food designations for Iphie and Cupie optional.

Tham's Ares/Methos Challenge
Ares/Methos; PWP/or Plot; Explicit sex. Plot is very optional--I'm looking for hardcore boinking. If you're looking for an additional level of difficulty, I'm not opposed to handcuffs, spilled blood, a cock ring, n/c sex, a non-Greek location, thunder, rain and beer.

TeeRoo's Stranger and Stranger Challenge
During the episode (Stranger and Stranger), ALT-Iolaus catches Falafel using a wagon filled with hay. After he catches him ALT-Ares starts to give ALT-Iolaus a little backrub  and says, "Gosh you're  so tight." [Or something like that.] Now usually I'mnot  into I/A but this scene sort of stuck with me so my challenge is this: Take the above scene and expand on it.

Tham's Ares GOL/GOW Fuck Their Brains Out Challenge
Subject: PWP--don't waste time on a damn plot!! Length: As long as there's boinking, I don't care.Setting: just to speed things along, I'll give you a few: amphitheater (in the stalls, in the arena--just as long as they're fucking...); in the temple of Cupid, GOL/GOW, while he watches; on a ship during a storm.

Tham's Orgy Challenges
a) Ares GoL and Iphicles are fucking and sucking when the BBGOW himself walks in on them...This CAN'T be set in a bedroom, and Ares has to involve someone else.
b) Autolycus and Iolaus are camping, when they stumble across Ares GoW  and Ares GoL. Play out the action any way you want, except that Auto and  Iolaus have to watch the two gods for a period of time. Sex, sex, sex.
c) Ares watches Iphicles and Cupid GoL, gets jealous and decides to  punish them...The punishment must, of course, involve sex,  and at  some point there must be spanking.
d) The HET one (you can add m/m or f/f if you want). Nebula and Xena take on Ares, Iphicles and Iolaus. Who tops whom? Oh yeah--and I want a public location and food.
e) The Pale One.  Joxer and Strife prove their sexual prowess on Ares GoW while Ares GoL judges them.

Tham's Emotion Challenges
a)  Heartbreak.   Iolaus falls in love with either Iphicles OR Ares, and has to tell Herc about it.  Sex is <shudder> optional.  This oneshould  drip with emotion--tears are required, and so is a sad ending.
b) Cruelty.  Ares plots to break up a couple of your choice (m/m, or m/f, or f/f)--and succeeds through lies and deception.  Even so, there has to  be reluctance on the part of the seducee.  Think Dangerous Liaisons.  Think  suffering.  Think Ares at his mostselfish and destructive.
c) Desire.  Cupid GOW challenges Ares to a cum-contest: they each must choose two of their favorite lovers, who can employwhatever tactics they want to get their god off.  Whichever wargod cums first, loses. Needless to say, there has to be lots of sex inthis one.
d)  Happiness.  Ares falls in love.  And falls hard.  We're talking harder than he's even  been...I mean felt before.  Who's the luckyguy? Has to  be a god of love: either Cupid or alt. Ares.  Flowers, candy and a cuddly puppy have to appear in the story, and it justhas to ooze warm-fuzzies.   If you want a female substitute, it has to be Gabrielle.

Feklar's Dirty Old Woman Challenges
a)   The boys get into a circle jerk---all fantasizing about Ares.  Whether they share a single fantasy or each have their own private fantasy is  up to you.  And if you feel like a sequel, I'd like to know if Ares heard their 'prayers' and what he did about them andhow much struggle  the lucky one(s) put up before admitting to and reveling in his fantasy come true.

b) The Iphy challenge:  Iphicles visits his younger brother at the Academy.  He's lived some time on the road and has some experience in  battle and in bed.  All sorts of tension and conflict ensue and in this emotionally aroused state, he either a) decidesto seduce (or just  ravish) the eminently fuckable YIolaus, or b) gets into some sort of testosterone contest with YJason---they're both built, but who is the biggest and buffest?---that will hopefully result in them wrestling around on the ground, in a river, inmud, in oil...whatever, so long as they somehow end up sporting wood. I have no idea how old Iphicles is supposed to be, but for the  purposes of this we'll assume he's older and looks something like Lawrence Hays.

c)  Het Alternative:  Lillith or Kora (or both) get hot and bothered watching YHerc and Ares go at it and go home to masturbate to an Ares or  Ares/slash fantasy.

d)  What exactly did Ares and Gothboy!Herc do together in Morpheus' dream world?  What did they do to the captive YJason and YIolaus?   Keep in mind that time flows differently in the dream world.

e)  Ares loses his powers and/or memory and is found by YHerc, YIolaus or YJason, or by all three.  Now that they are relatively 'safe' from Ares, previously repressed lusts come to the surface.  The more innocent the boys start out and the more conflicted they feel about taking advantage of the situation, the better.  One variant of this is that Ares is just pretending to have lost hismemory or powers in hopes of  manipulating the boys and their lust.

f)  Het Challenge (Note:  for purposes of this challenge let's use the YAlcemene from HTLJ---I think she's far cuter (and uses far less hairspray <feh! :-p> than the one in YH.):  How long has Jason known he had the hots for Alcemene?  I would love to seeYJason seduce her, overcome her image of him as a boy, her son's playmate, her feelings that it would be entirely untoward and downright depraved of  her  to sleep with him.  I have admit, I have yet to figure out how Ares fits into this, maybe he could also beout to seduce YAlcemene, or  YJason for that matter. Maybe he heard YJason and YIolaus talking about it and decided to butt in, or get YHerc involved in an attempt to ruin their friendship, or maybe he comforts YHerc when he comes to the sad realization that everybody is driven by hormones, so he may as well be, too.

Dee's Song Challenge
Write a story based on a song. It can be as long as you want, andAres has to be in it. And they cannot name the song till the end of the story.

Ry's Multi-Kev Orgy Challenge
How about this as a challenge...All of Kevin's characters in a fucking orgy of cum, cocks, and ass poundings to beat all!!!

Fireheart's Lyric Challenge
"Now that the thrill of the massacre is over//Isn't it sweet when she sucks on your veins//I've waited so long//I've waited so long//I've waited//I've waited//So long."  It's from a song called "BABYLON" by The Tea Party. MUST LISTEN TO!

Melora's Iphy-Pic Challenge
Write a story to go along with this picture: http://www.addr.com/~fireheart/images/Iphy.jpg
Sex-Either het, slash, or a combination.

Richel's One Thousand and One Nights Challenge
(Exactly what are those kinky fantasies of the beautiful King of Corinth?)  With no limits to his vivid imagination, exactly what would he come up with?  Whips, chains, ropes, feathers, oils, lotions, chocolate, liquor, costumes, props?   Het or slash welcome! (Uncomfortable with writing sex scenes?  No problem,  write the tale of what happens if you threw an orgy and nobody came.) Come, boys and girls, tell us your tale of those sultry 'RomanNights'!

Iphenys and Gwendolen's Shakespeare Challenge
Blame it on Shakespeare or on the fact that we both saw the movie and got inspired. :-)  So, a story-challenge especially for the romantics among you. Write a story with a balcony scene a la Romeo & Juliet. Iphicles should be the one on the balcony. The choiceof  his partner is left to you (making it Ares would be a bonus <g>).  The story should also involve strawberries and chocolate. Happyending preferred but not required. No word limit.

Tham's Quickie Challenges
a.  Ares discovers Strife and Iphicles in bed (for Kitkat). // b.  Cupid GoW sees Iphicles or Ares GoL on the battlefield, and gets a hard-on.//
c.  Ares is slave for a day to Xena or Gabrielle or Ares GoL. //d.  Ares is challenged by Caesar to do < ? >--you pick the challenge. //e.  Joxer, Hercules and Ares become involved in a love-triangle when all three accidentally breathe in a new love-potion that 'Dite's creating.//f.  Autolycus asks Ares for a favor.

Tham and Jess' Naked Apollo on the Beach Challenge
You've all seen the pic (if you haven't, email me and I'll send it to you); now write a story about it.  Ares or Iphicles must appear in the story.  Sex is required.

Tham's Canada Day Challenges
1)  Battle.  Ares and some underused god from either the Greek pantheon OR another or your choice battle for control of Greece--winner takes all, including the other's favorite lover.  Sex is a must.  And you have to include olives, a mountain cave,  chains, and an amphitheater.

2)  Uber-Crime.  Ares is a detective at any point in the 20th century, and has to solve the mystery of Gabrielle's death.  Appearances by Xena, Iphicles and Joxer required.
3) Voyeurism.  Iolaus catches Herc and Ares doing it.

4) Death.  Hades gives Ares or Iphicles a tour of the underworld.  Must include references to five dead mythological characters, and a description of Cerberus.

5) Contest.  Ares GOL and Cupid GOW have a bet about which one can seduce EITHER Ares GOW, Caesar, or Hercules.  Must include a temple, a dungeon, and a tavern.

 Tham's Suffering-Relief  Plot-Sex Challenges
1)  Seduction. Iolaus loses his memory, and Ares GOW or GOL convinces him that they're lovers--but our intrepid hunter *regains* his memory midway through.  Slow, seductive, lots of teasing foreplay before the big climax.

2)  Comic Seduction.  Ares GOL discovers a power attractive to Hercules, and sets about to seduce him.  I'm looking for light comedy and sweet sex, so no drugs and n/c here, kids.

3)  First Time.  Lawrence Hayes loses his virginity to Ares GOW or Ares GOL. This is *consensual* sex (mostly).  Can be set whenever you want.

4)  Oops.  While in the alt u, a confused Autolycus mistakes Ares GOW (you figure out why he's there) for Ares GOL.

**For each of these challenges, you have to build up to the sex.  Some semblance of PLOT is required.  Moreover, I want tension.  I want heat.  I want hot, sweaty, pounding sex.  And the stories better be plenty juicy, too. ;-)

Fox's Centaur Challenge
There's a challenge straight from the demented denizens of tonight's chat...How about a little centaur slash, listsibs?  Think about it...How would they do it? who'd get the honors?  What do their wang-doodles look like?   The usual hard, juicy, thick throbbing, please.

Thiel's Iphy in Bondage Challenge
There's a story behind this scene [Thiel's Iphy-in-bondage pic, which can be found at the KSA gallery] I'm sure- however the boys did not deign to inform me of it.  They just showed me the scene.    I'm certain some of our very talented writers out there have some specific ideas on how Iphy got Bound and why Ares is standing there.  I'd love to see them.  No word limit, actually I don't have any restrictions on it as long as the scene is in there and described.

Spooky's Crying Iolaus Challenge
Ok.. perhaps no challenge at all....Make Iolaus cry like a girlie. Don't care how.... just make that hunter weep!  hehehehhehehe

Shamenka's Angst Challenge
I have a real angsty challenge for you folks! Anyone interested? First up, Hercules discovers, by accident that one of his brothers has been systematically sexually abused since childhood.  Said brother simply doesn't see it as anything other than X relative showing him how much he loves him.
Relative - X discovers Herc knows and the only thing keeping Herc alive is
the thou shall not kill Herc rule.  What does Herc do to help his brother. Doing nothing and leaving him to stew is groddy but an option if you must.
Brother = Ares
Relative X = Either Zeus or Poseidon or Hades
Anyone else is your choice.

Kelly's Stoned Challenge
Have Ares, Dite, Herc, Iolaus, Xena, Gabby,Joxer, and Iolaus get stoned (high) together.  Sex, fights--whatever you want around, a camp fire in
the castle...However you want it to happen!!!

Dee's Chewed-Out Herc Challenge
Have someone--can be anyone other than Ares--chew out Hercules for the way he treats Iphicles. It can be Iolaus, Xena, Joxer, or even one of the palace servants, as long as Herc gets his butt chewed good. You can even have "I'm sorry" sex in it if you want. It can be as long or as short as you
want; just have fun.

Tham's  The Sentinel Challenge
Ok, with all the Sentinel fans around, surely someone's willing to fulfill my...I mean, people's hot lust for Blair and write a Blair/Ares or Blair/Iphicles fic, or, even better Ares/Iphicles/Blair. C'mon...You know you want to.  Just think university-funded research trip to Greece, orgiastic sex, and bondage. I'm of the school that says Blair is a dom, but I'd like to see the boys tie him up and use him as a sex toy.  Oh yeah...And Jim can come along for the ride.

Tham and Erin's Sentinel Challenge
Blair, believing that Ares is a sentinel, recruits Strife, whom he views as a fellow guide, to help him test the god's senses, which involves tying Ares up and fucking him senseless.  Yow!  I'd like to see that.

Lorraine's Hurricane Bart Challenge
Have I got a challenge for you.  Down here in Texas we're getting pounded by Hurricane Bart.  The whole enchilada!  60 to 100 mph winds, rain, collateral tornadoes, power outages, intermittent phone service.  Lots of places have closed down and I sent my staff home about half an hour ago & went home myself.  With nothing to do but think about sex.  Where is that S.O. when needed.  So here's the challenge write a story with hot sex, a batten down the hatches and ride it out storm, and someone or something named Bart.  Plot or PWP,  2 or more players, anyone from herc/xena (although I really love herc/iollous) .  Any length. Did I  mention the really hot sex part?

Toi's Desperate Remedies Challenge
How about a fan fiction featuring Lawrence Hayes with Ares and  Iphicles coming to visit him?  It can be as long or as short as you like.

Shamenka's Facts of Life Challenge
Write a story in which someone has to explain the facts of life to either a child(like) Ares or an amnesiac Ares...

Joanna's Call of Nature Challenge
Set during The Quill is Mightier, here's the challenge: Ares needs Joxer to teach him to answer the call of nature. <g>

Tham's Tickle Challenge
Mitch found me this quotation from Kafka's The Castle, and the chatters
suggested it would make a good challenge, so here it goes: "This Greek god squeaked like a girl being tickled." Just remember that a Kevin Smith character has to be appear...Other than that, have some fun. :-)  I mean, I don't have to say the fic's gotta have sex, do I? <G>

Tham's Back To School Challenges
1)  Hades' Seduction
Hades is turned mortal as punishment for some transgression, and Ares, disguised as a hunky human male, decides to satisfy his lust by seducing him.  I'd like the whole thing to take place in a town, and hot sex is required.

2)  Hercules' Revenge
Herc and Iolaus have a huge fight and the big guy storms off, absolutely furious.  I mean, really, really mad.  Why, you ask?  Well, come up with something--I have faith in your brilliance.  Anyway, in this furious state, he goes to visit his oh-so-beautiful brother, the king of Corinth, and fucks him.  I'm not opposed to some n/c, although it can be as mutual as you want. I don't see a happy ending here, either, unless you can come up with something plausible.

3)  It's a Love Thang
Ares GOL can't get his counterpart from his mind, so he decides to sneak into the other world and get him some.  How would it happen?  How could it happen?  The war god despises him, and the love god is on the timid side, even if he's very, very horny...I'd like a little kink, but I could live with comedy instead. (Or in addition to).

4)  For the Iolausians/Herculeans
Iolaus accidentally swallows one of 'Dite's potions and becomes convinced that HE is the hero, and Herc the sidekick.  Ares finds this hysterically funny, since Iolaus is unknowingly doing  a brutal Herc-parody.  This can play out in two ways:

a. Ioalus tries to fight Ares while Herc's off tracking down 'Dite, and in the midst of the 'fighting', something changes, and they kiss...Which of course leads to some hot and heavy sex.

b.  Herc asks Ares not to hurt Iolaus, and the two start talking, both watching out to make sure the little guy doesn't hurt himself, and they get very, very close.

Tham's Give Me Slash Challenges
1. Whiter Shade of Pale.  Joxer and Strife compete to seduce Ares. Each character has to offer the war god the thing he most desires as a means of weakening his resistance, and luring him away from Iphicles. A chicken has to appear at some point, and bonus marks go to stories with lots of description and lots of sex.

2.  The King's Two Bodies. Iphicles breaks off with Ares because he realizes
he's in love with Joxer. At least one of the characters must appear in drag
at some point in the story, either in a sexual context or a disguise.

3. Tangled Webs. Iolaus cheats on Hercules with Autolycus, and Hercules
takes revenge by seducing Auto himself. Ares has to be the narrator here,
watching this take place. He can be with someone else of your choice.

4. Pride and Prejudice. Ares and Hercules change jobs for a week: wargod
becomes hero, hero becomes wargod. Each character must run into Iolaus, Xena (no sex with her, though), and Cupid (and anyone else you have in mind).

5. Back to the Future. AresGOW/Cupid GOW are transported to the future, and must together accomplish a good deed before their respective head divinities will allow them to return. Each tries to hinder the other, and of course sex has to be involved at some point. This can be a cross-over fic with either X-Files, LFN, HL or TS.

Lady Viper's Kiwi Challenge
Talk in chat brought up our normal dementedness (go figure). New word for cock: kiwi. Challenge?... Use it in story and explain WHY its called a kiwi and not a cock.

Obsidian Rogue's Mystery Science Theater 3000 Challenge
On some of the anime mailing lists I'm on, when someone writes a truly dreadful fic, someone else comes along and MSTs it (as in Mystery Science Theater 3000, for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about) with the permission of the original author generally.  What with all the bad fic (tm) lately, I was thinking some of them would be just about perfect for MSTing. So, would anybody be interested in doing that? and would people be offended if they saw their fic MSTed? Personally, it's a very direct and detailed form of criticism that could be constructive to the author... did I just take the fun out of it? forget i said anything.  Anybody? Ideas? MSTs?

Shamenka's Daddy Challenges (or:  Ares to the Rescue)
1) Herc, Xena and the other three (if wanted) are all being held captive by a right sicko. A sicko whose sicko son thinks the sun rises and sets with his  daddy (son about 12-15 years old) As sicko tortures Xena and co in front of  said sicko kid Xena challenges the child's belief.  How? She says: "my daddy's tougher than you daddy!"  Ares has to come to the rescue!

2) Herc and Xena piss Gaia off something chronic and as a punishment she gives them the minds of oohh say 6 year olds. And since they pissed her off trying to defeat Ares' latest plot he's gotta look after them. After all he doesn't want to piss off his great grandmother does he?  Gotta haves: Xena and herc have to hold tight to Ares' hands when in public. They're  scared of getting lost!  They walk everywhere ( X & H are part mortal and can't be zapped, ergo they  walk) And to make matters worse one of them gets chariot sick ... Herc has to say: " you gotta do as I say, I'm the uncle" (which of course he is if she's Ares' daughter)

3) Xena's reaction to Ares announcing he is to marry JOXER! After all, that  would make Joxer sort of her step father.. her view on this subject and how  does Ares win her round?

4) Gabrielle has a magic amulet ... she uses it to be where ever Ares is. She has decided that Xena needs more brothers or sisters and since Cyrene is too old that leaves her and Xena's daddy!  Ares tries desperately hard to avoid her without killing her out right!  Someone other than Xena has to talk Gabs out of this .. much to Ares' relief!

Candace's The Great Food Challenge
Iphicles, at a formal state dinner, finds himself inappropriately turned on by the taste/texture/aroma of some new and exotic food. His free floating lust is then directed at a mystery guest....(your choice). Get into the food!

Tham's First-Time Challenge
There must be a build-up to the sex, with insecurity and uncertainty on the narrator's part, and one masturbation scene.  We can't know that the other guy has a thing for the narrator until they finally get together.  And there has to be a nice, detailed sex scene at the end.   The pairing is up to you, although I'd be especially interested to see the narrator as Cupid, Strife, Joxer, or Autolycus.

Dee's  Seduction Challenge
Ares and Caesar are arguing about which one is the most seductive. So they decide to hold a contest to see who is the most seductive. Each must try to seduce the person chosen for them by the other.  Must have:  A bare skin rug. A fire place with a fire in it.
Food.  A silly hat.   Extra points: A bed. A goat. The other person getting kinky.

Tham's Cry Yer Eyes Out Challenge
The trick is to write schmoop that isn't schmoop, that'll make the reader go all warm and weepy with gratification when the ending comes (and not going running for the bathroom, hand over mouth).  So, obstacles impede a relationship between Ares or Iphicles and some cute guy of your choice, but they finally get together at the end, and it's just so right and good and everyone's happy and...

Spooky's Anatomically-Correct Challenge
Hey, how about an anatomicaly accurate slash challenge? Write a slashy snippet or story that uses only the proper terms for the body parts involved!

Dee's Hooker Challenge
Have all the guys go to Megs at the same time. You can have them run into each other or just miss each other.  Think Marx brothers movie. Must have:
1 Someone ask for something no one would ever think they would want.
2 Someone thinking they should be getting the hookers to pay them.
3 Someone afraid someone is going to see them there.

It can be as long or as short as you like, just have fun.

Tham's Halloween Challenge
Tell a ghost story.  It has to be a genuine ghost story--something spooky and haunting--with any pairing you want (as long as there's a Kev character, of course).  You can even have <gasp> no sex.

Lady Viper's Fave Lines Challenge

Amoreena's Full Circle Challenge
Write the final episode of H:tLJ the way you feel it should have been.  Since this is KSA, take it any where you want to go with it.  We couldn't do much worse than TIIC did.

Dee's Rewrite Challenge
1.  Take a scene from Xena or Hercules and change it to suit yourself.
2. Take your favorite tv show or movie and replace one, or more, even all the characters, if you want, with ones from Herc/Xena..
3.  Do a story using every pun you can think of.

Tham's Change Yer Style Challenge
Write a story in which you write a story outside your usual perimeters.  So if you write angsty kink, write schmoop.  If you write baby-fic, write doom 'n' gloom.  Change pairings, play with your writing style.  But the finished product should be different than your usual stuff.  And I'm not talking parodies here, either--just a straight (so to speak) story by your evil (or your good) twin.

Kelly L's  Red Rose Challenge
See how Ares would act if he got roses a year after Strife died.

Lorraine's Sex Toys Challenge
Write a story where Ares tests out one of Heph and 'Dite's sex toys.  *NO ANGST*   I'm looking for fun happy hot consensual sex.

Roo's Crossover Challenge
How about a crossover challenge?  Crossovers can be very difficult beasties, but when done well they can also be lots of fun.  I'm suggesting a real crossover, not just some random PWP here - write a crossover with a real plot and a real reason for doing it.  And then throw in lots of hot, torrid kinky sex :-)

Tham and Oshun's Unusual Pairing Murder-Mystery Challenge
Write a murder mystery featuring an unusual pairing (either as the two detectives, or as the detective and victim).  A Kevin Smith character must be present in a prominent role:  may be Ares, Iphicles, Bacchus, Ares GOL, Lawrence Hayes, Ricky de la Cruz, John Lawless, etc.  The other guy can be anyone you want, except you can't write a canonical pairing like Ares/Iphicles, Ares/Joxer, etc.  Crossovers accepted.

Dragon's Ways to Drive a Man Wild in Bed Challenge
I acquired an older Cleo magazine from NZ yesterday that has an article that absolutely had me  ROFLMAO.  It's entitled "56 ways to drive a man wild in bed".  There is a
tremendous amount of material in this article for fic.  The challenge is to take these suggested ploys to heighten the sexual excitement and apply to the Herc/Xena universive in some way:

29:  After he's showered, dry him off with your tongue (I think that is one  thought that we could all run with for a while)

15:  Challenge him to a duel; the first one to "shoot" (have an orgasm)  loses.  The winner gets treated to an erotic evening of his or her choice. Enjoy the struggle!

41:   Teeth.  Bite him gently anywhere you would kiss him.  Take hold of him by the hair, bed his head to you and bite his lower lip.  Bite and suck on his neck like a vampire.  Chew on the inside of his elbows and knees.  Love-bite his nipples, belly button and scrumptious buns.  Bite his ears and toes, alternating with torrid tongue thrusts.  (I'm transcribing this, I swear).  Eat him up all over!

50:  Although you always want to protect his delicate organ from your
possibly-too-fervent fangs, there are times when your teeth make a nice prop.
Hold his penis in your mouth sideways, like an ear of corn, and slide your teeth and tongue up and down the shaft.  You can even give it a gentle nip now and then, but be sure to keep it light!

Ann's Chains Challenge
Hercules and Ares have a huge fight.  Zeus, in his own style of wisdom decides to chain them together until they get along better or drove each other mad (whichever comes first).  While they're trying to get along, Caesar decides to come to Corinth and conquer it again.

Ann's After Hours Challenge
What if all the characters acted really differently towards each other "after hours."  That is, Ares who is usually mean/evil becomes nice, Herc sometimes insanely good with Iolaus usually at his side suddenly hate each other/have falling out of sorts, Salmoneous becomes a philantropists, Xena is a gambler and Gabrielle is secretly writing a tell-all scroll on all of them.

Melanie's Ancient Authors Challenge
Prevent my impending insanity by writing a super-slashy fic in the style of an ancient auther/bard. Here are a few names to get you started, but I'm sure you will think of more as the muse takes you: Homer, Aeschylus, Aristophanes, Virgil, Ovid, Catulus,  Apuleius.

Baucis'  For the Love of a God Challenge
Starring: Ares GOW and Ares GOL.
Pairing: Doesn't matter.
Items: Exotic oils, long hot baths
Scene: Ether a lone mountain cabin or a cave

Oshun's Poetry Challenge
Write a poem of your own, in any form (sonnet, free verse, imagist, whatever) about anything.  It can be humorous or serious, it just has to have at least one of Kev's
characters in it somewhere.

Shamenka's  Poor Kitty Challenge
Ares GoW thinks he's Hercules.  Hercules may, if desired, think he's Ares GoW, Ares GoL, or better yet swings between both! Iolaus and guest star of your choice have to sort things out.  The people Ares saves think he makes a better Hercules than Hercules, after  all Ares has all the powers of a God at his unconscious beck and call.  Ares has to save Hercules at least once! Dramatically, and in full view of a large crowd. herc has to be suitably grateful. Iolaus has to call Ares Herc, in public at least once. Ares has to deliver the line 'Oh, the poor, dear kitty cat!'  Herc has to start a war or an orgy, or both!

Tham's Double-Fic Challenge
Write the same basic story two different ways.  Comedy/angst, comedy/light-romance, etc.  Or, if you want, you can switch between point of view, from 3rd person/1st person.  Whatever floats your boat.  Pairings are up to you.  You want plot bunnies?  Here ya go (but you don't need to use any of these):

1)  Zeus, furious with Ares for <whatever reason>, punishes his son by stripping him of his divinity, which he passes on to either Iolaus, Autolycus or Iphicles--you pick.
2)  Hephaestus, sick of 'Dite's cheating, takes his revenge by sleeping with Ares or Iphicles.  Or Ares and Iphicles, if you're feeling adventurous.
3)  Ares, disguised, convinces YIolaus to kidnap YHerc in an effort to corrupt him.
4)  Strife and Joxer, sick of their treatment at Ares' hands, decide to take revenge against him by seducing his lover (the choice of the lover is up to you).
5)  Joxer, pining for Ares GOW, enlists the aid of Ares GOL.
6)  Hades and Ares have a bet about which one can make Hephaestus love him.

Oshun's Mary/Marty Sue Bad Fic Challenge!
Write a story with either Mary or Marty Sue (yes you can use Xena, Iolaus et al) in the worst bad fic style that you can think of! No page/time restrictions, just write your heart out!

Gwen's Hot Caesar Challenge
Can't really say why but I feel in the mood for some hot Caesar-fic so I'm offering following challenge.  Write a fic with following first line, "The emperor of Rome had a new obsession."

Tham's New Pair Challenge
You have to write a pairing you've never done before (one KS character has to appear, of course).   The plot?  Mister X thinks that <KS character> is cheating on him, and plots revenge.

Strandia's Gladiator Challenge
It's simple, really... just take one of the guys and gladiatorialize him.  It's your choice whether to 'borrow' from the movie or not.  All I need is a hot Gladiator, who catches the eye of a certain war god, or emperor, or whoever <g>.

My main bunny (which is free for the taking) was that Iphicles' army gets beaten by the Romans, he gets captured, and since he's big, gorgeous, and a good fighter or whatever, they sell him off as a gladiator... blah blah blah... Iphy fights in Rome, and Caesar notices him, or Ares notices him, or they both notice him, and smut ensues.  Here's a pretty good site on Gladiatorial Games and the official movie site/

Taz's Holiday Challenge
I expect I should save this one for New Years but go here and take a look. I know it looks like Dionysos has a gravy boat and Herc is drinking from his hat but I expect they've both got one of those wonderful ancient Greek Drinking bowls that so often had a dirty picture on the bottom -- a man having sex with a prostitute, Apollo exposing himself to a girl, Zeus propostioning Ganymede. Anyhow a story to got with....

Tham's Break-Up Challenge
A KS character (your choice) publicly breaks off his current relationship. I'll leave the why and the who up to you.

Tham's Quickie Challenge Revisitas
1)  The AU Strife, who miraculously survived his twin's death, comes to Greece and watches Ares, then reveals himself to him in a spectacular way.

2)  Hercules has a wet dream about Ares, and can't stop thinking about him.

3)  Cupid, fed up with Ares' treatment of him as a limp-wristed flower-child, challenges Ares to a contest:  the first to find the rib of Chronos in the Underworld can have the other one as slave for a day.

4)  Hercules, busy with the Symphalian birds, asks Iphicles to take care of the Mares of Diomedes, with Iolaus' help.

5)  Trying to steal a potion with the power of invisibility, Autolycus falls and hits his head.  He wakes up convinced that he's Ares, and Iphicles is Joxer.

6)  Poseidon kidnaps Iphicles to punish Ares, and gets a hard-on for the hunky king of Corinth.

7)  As a reward for saving 'Dite from a would-be rapist, <some guy in the Hercuverse> is granted one wish, erotic in nature.  A KS character must either be granted the wish, or involved in its application.

8)  When Ares breaks his favorite sword, he goes to the AU to take back its match.

9)  Iolaus gets drunk one night and reveals to Herc or Iphicles his attraction to Ares.

Tham's The Brass Jar Challenge
Write a story that deals with Ares' imprisonment in the brass jar by the Aloadae, including the aftermath.

Tham and Oshun's Description Challenge
Write a story in which your lovers meet in an unusual, not-often-seen setting.  We're looking for originality here, especially in your description of this setting.  Go wild with it.  And don't skimp on the details:  a sizable chunk of the story must be devoted to a  description of the locale.

Shamenka's Cursing Challenge
Can I tempt one of you good people into writing us a comedy? A Goddess/God of your choice makes a bet with Ares that he cannot go 24 hours without swearing. Ares accepts the bet (has to be a big wager by Godly standards). Another God/Goddess dares Ares' lover/lovers to make Ares curse out loud in a public, and highly inappropriate place (has to be a frivolous bet by Godly standards).  Ares' lovers are either Iph/Herc/Jox/or all three. The places are either: a solemn Temple service/a formal banquet/while making love/or again all three Quotes to be worked in..

1) But Ares, this is not what I meant!

2) But Ares, you always said you were my snoogle-pie, no one else's!

3) Can't Asclepius cure that?

Items:  An enormous bed (big enough for fun games for four adults at least); six fluffy chicks/ducklings/use you imagination (alive however); a poodle puppy called Ares (can be unhouse trained if you wish); the gift of a gallon of lube... anonymous if you so desire.

Joey's Stumble 'n' Watch Challenge
Have one of the Herc/Xenaverse guys (preferably Joxer, Iph or Auto) stumble upon 5 or more xenaversies (ohhh... a new term) masturbating alone.  The situations must be believable, and don't have to happen all in one night.  Whether or not the character decides to join or just watch from afar is your choice.

Tham's Brothel Challenge
Write a fic in which at least one scene takes place in a brothel.  One of the Hercuverse guys must visit, and one of them must work there.  The details are up to you.   Sex, needless to say, is pretty much required, and I'd like some description of the brothel setting itself.  I'd love some decadent images for this one.  Here's an image of a brothel in Pompeii for inspiration.

Tham's Chastisement of Cupid Challenge
I'm really hot for this Manfredi painting (although in my new version, Aphrodite's taken a little holiday--bless you, Paintshop Pro), and I'd love to see a story dealing with it, so I'm offering a little incentive.  It's a graphic for the story, which'll go up at KSA with your fic.  Please, please, please write it.  Make it hot.  Make it dirty.  Make it gooood.   And feel free to disregard the original story and give Ares different  motivation.

Beth's Death Challenge
Write a fic that ends with the death of Ares. Specifics:
1) He dies for someone he loves
2) He actually has to speak dying words to the person he died for
3) Hercules and at least one Olympian attend the funeral and discuss what Ares meant to them. It doesn't have to be positive

Tham's Drabble Challenge
Can you tell a story in 100 words?  Can you make someone laugh in 100 words? Cry?  Come?  Scream?  Test yourself.

Tham's Dialogue Challenge
I was looking at "Hills Like White Elephants" today, which had me thinking about the power of dialogue.   If you're bored and looking to test your skills, how about a story that's essentially all dialogue?  You can include speech tags, but that's it.

Tacitah and Isos Arei's Jabberwocky Challenge
Take Lewis Carroll's classic poem, "Jabberwocky" and change it around. I'll include the original.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
© Lewis Carroll

Tham's Angst-Word Challenge
Write a short story (approx. 500 words, but feel free to go longer or shorter)  based either on the word-combi "betrayal, kiss, nightmare"  or "knot, misunderstanding, virgin."  The pairing and plot is up to you.

Mistress Twanky's Het Challenge
I have an idea... Why don't we have a Het challenge for all of those het writers out there?  I'd love to see more het.  I'm not sure of how we could word it, though.  Maybe just a general story where one of the characters is a KS character and the other is a female?  Any takers?

Beth's Hideous Present Challenge
Write a story (full-length, snippet, or drabble) in which one of the following pairs is given a hideous wedding present:


Go to it-the cheesier, the better.

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