Lady Viper's Fave Lines Challenge
Send your fave lines from the show and who says them to the list.  I'll collect them, then repost the lines/speakers in one email.  The challenge is to USE the collected lines in a story. Now if you've got a fave line from an author.. ask if it's ok and submit it for the challenge (or even use some of your own).

BELOW are all the lines sent into the list.  Use these lines in your story.. try to use as many as possible. And the same person who said the line originally doesn't have to say it this time.

"Doesn't it make you feel all hot and tingly, Herc?"
"Uh... Yeah"  - Iolaus to Hercules, "War Bride"

"Um. Why would Ares be mending your fence? Am I missing something here? Is
he suddenly the God of War and Broken Fences or something? If he does kettles. I've got one with a hole in it." Iolaus to Hercules.

"I hate it when he does that" Ares to himself about Hercules.

"Udder devastation." Ares to Herc after exploding the cow.

"Oh... uh... I didn't realize there was a full moon" Iolaus to Auto in the bushes.

"Hello Mr. Caterpillar." Auto to.. a caterpillar.

"I hope that we never come to blows. Unless of course they're **below** the
belt" (Caesar, Julius Caesar to the Morrigan, Render Unto Caesar)

"You don't want to take me on." (Aphrodite) "Don't I?!!" (with lustful surprise Heph, Love Takes a Holiday)

"God of fire, one little spark and you start an awesome flame."
(Aphrodite, Love Takes a Holiday)

"Melt into me." (Ares, The Bitter Suite)

Ares:  "When it comes to physical punishment, I invented the art."
Ares: "When you realize you're wrong, call me...If you survive."
Ares: "I love it when you talk like that."
Ares:  "You never let me get away with anything."
Ares: "What can I say? A little stroking never hurt anyone."
Ares:  "What you deserve is a good spanking."

Hercules:  "I'm starting to think you're a masochist."

Minya:  "I expected more from the god of war.  I mean, without his powers,
he's just another man.  Just another big ol' leather clad, well-muscled, gorgeous hunka bad boy man."

"That's my friend your sucking on."  Herc

That's right spread the word! I'm a lover and a fighter!

We do monsters. Wait -- it's not slimy is it?

You always seem to know when I'm around, I must have a certain... presence
...around you.  Ares
You say "presence, I say stench.  Xena
OH OW.... score one for the warrior princess.  Ares

You must be my welcome home present

Nibbling is good

Your the one who's on top

"Why does this always have to be so hard?"
"Because if it was easy anyone could do it."

"You know Xena? You're always in everybody's business." Joxer (The Convert)

"Gabrielle is gonna freak!" Xena (Animal Attraction)

"Wake up and smell the diapers." Talia (Animal Attraction)

Both of you at the same time? Why not? ~ Ares ~ From Xena Scrolls

Leather mention the Leather ~ Aries ~ The Quill.

I'll be forever grateful. ~ Ares
but cant think of the episode it comes from.

"Not exactly my idea of foreplay, but it'll do." ~ Ares

"Nothing more need be said.......Ding, Dong, the bitch is dead."
Ares from The Bitter Suite

Ares:  "Ah!  I've got to hand it to you Strife, this has worked out better
than I could ever have imagined."
Strife: "It's been fun."
Ares:  "Fun is good"

"Who's your passenger, Hercules?" - Archivus
Once a Hero

"Ding dong, the bitch is dead." - Ares
Bitter Suite

"But what-- what's the signal?" - Thallonius
"You'll know when you see it." - Ares
The Quill is Mightier...

"Here kitty, kitty.  Come on let's play." - Ares
The Prize

"My powers!  What's happened to my powers?! You! Whaddya done to me?"
- Ares, The Quill is Mightier...

"She killed your father.  You have to avenge his death or the Furies will torment you for eternity.  Yadda, yadda, yadda-- go."
- Ares, The Furies

"Kiss my axe!" - Ares, Revelations

"You know, I'm feeling so good right now, I'm going to let you live." - Ares
"Gee, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside." -Nebula

"I'm Hercules and I love Hera." - Iolaus
The Sword of Veracity

"I have two heads."
The Sword of Veracity

"I've been thinking..."
"You? Thinking?  Hahahahahha...oh..your serious."--Discord and Strife (Prize)

"Children! I love a good bloodbath as much as the next war god, but PLEASE! I
just had the rugs cleaned!"-Ares (Fade Out)

"Greatness isn't just about possessing power. If it was, any thug with an army
would be entitled to that label. Greatness is about achieving what seems
impossible--to other men."--Caesar (Destiny)

"I know, I know, I know. When I was your age, I hated going to bed too. But
when you get to be my age uh-going to bed takes on a whole new meaning-you
know?"--Cupid (A Comedy of Eros)

"Xena, would you mind knocking me unconscious?" Gabrielle 'Ulysses'

"I'm the king of sweetness my dear."   Hades 'The Other Side'

"Nature Called. Actually it was Screaming."  Iolaus 'Long Live The King'

"I may be mortal but I'm hardly mere." Autolycus "Beginning of the End'

"I Think I Bruised My Brain"    Joxer 'King of Assassins

"Frankly, I was expecting Hercules...or at least Sinbad."   A Helpless Villager 'Been There, Done That'

"I've resisted many women in my time; special power I have"
Iolaus, 'The Wrong Path'

"All men think they're fascinating; in my case it's justified."  Autolycus

"I heard you were looking for the worlds greatest warrior. Well, here I am"
Joxer '10 Little Warlords'

"I've been hanged, swung over a fire, and nearly shish-ka-bobbeb on razor sharp spikes. How do you mortals get from day to day?" Ares, 'Ten Little

Iolaus (to Herc): "Have you ever been wrong?"
Herc: "I thought so once...but I was wrong."  'Revelations'

Ares: "He shoots...he kills!"
Herc: "That was a cow."
Ares: "Udder Destruction"    'Revelations'

Gabrielle: That is not humanly posable.
Xena: Yes it is.
Fins, Fems and Gems

Ares: Why do they call it a hang over?
Xena: Because is a little wile you'll hang over and......

"Or don't you and Hercules do that either?"
Aphrodite to Iolaus (Love Takes A Holiday)

Hercules: "Iolaus don't."
Iolaus: "What?"
Hercules: "You know what." (Maze of the Minotaur)

Iolaus: "Maybe I should just give up women altogether."
Hercules: "I think that's a good idea.
(Warrior Princess)

Iolaus: "Ah, there's nothing like a bit of exercise to get the old blood flowing."
Hercules:  "Speak for yourself."
Iolaus:  "Oh, come on, Hercules,don't tell me you didn't enjoy it; I saw the look on your face!"
(The Wrong Path)

"Do you always ride Hercules so hard?" Aphrodite to Iolaus, Love takes a holiday

"Great! Their foreplay is going to get me killed"

"Under different circumstances we might have been friends...if we weren't
trying to kill each other first.  Speaking of which!"  Ares to SOV

"If he starts to mime, he's dead man."

And "How do you mortals get through the day, y'know?" from Ten Little Warlords.

"Life is to be taken, and beaten and wrestled and formed in your image. For that's where the meaning lies, in what you can twist life into. For those who
just endure life, it's a sick joke, but for those who form it with their will, the joke's on those who get in the way"

"Some enemies are *harder* than others." - Caesar as Xena catcrawls seductively toward him.    Destiny

"I've cut off the flow of blood to your brain and other pertinent body parts.  So, tell me-- how old were you when you lost your virginity?" - Xena to bad guy, Rufinus
"Xena." - Gabrielle
"Shut up, Mavis-- this is important." - Xena
"Fourteen." - Rufinus
"Come on." - Xena
"OK, OK-- nineteen, nineteen." - Rufinus
X:  "See, Mavis, all you have to do is ask nicely." -  Xena The Furies

"What do you think?" - Xena, showing off the daisies in her hair to Gabrielle.
"I think we have a serious problem, here, Xena." - Gabrielle
"I could lose the daisies." - Xena
"It's not your look that I'm talking about.  It's what's going on inside your
head." - Gabrielle
[Laughs]  "You don't wanna go there-- it's terrifying." - Xena The Furies

"What do you think?  It's too leafy?" - Xena, holding up a green, leafy twig
to her daisied hair, The Furies

"Sometimes, that is the only way to shut her up." -
Xena to Ares when he covers Gabrielle's mouth to keep her from speaking.   The Furies

"I don't get it.  I'm tall, I'm dark and handsome.  I've got a great job and I can stay up ALL NIGHT.  Why don't ya like me?"

Arguing didn't work. I tried.But Jason stuck his cock in my mouth and Hercules put his mouth on my cock and then they switched. Well you can't argue if you can't talk.
--Lorraine's Ass Play

Jason got a blow job. Hercules got a blow job. Did Iolaus get a blow job? NO! Iolaus ended up shopping.
--Lorraine's Ass Play

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