These writing commandments were brought into being during a Ksares IRC chat, courtesy of Lorna, Oshun, Taz and me (Thamiris).

Thou shalt not overuse the ellipsis.

Thou shalt not abuse the show, not tell rule.

Thou shalt not add adverbs after every verb.

Thou shalt punctuate wisely, without excess.

Thou shalt not use expletives except in dire circumstances.

Thou shalt not call Ares "Snookums" or any other schmoopy term.

Thou shalt restrict the use of epithets to rosy-fingered Dawn.

Thou shalt not disable thy spell-checker.

Thou shalt not begin thy paragraphs in the same way over and over.

Thou shalt check for all your "to", "too", and "two".

Thou shalt not use fancy-assed speech verbs instead of "said".

Thou shalt be more creative in the sack than one finger, two fingers, three fingers, fuck.

Thou shalt learn to know the difference between "their" and "there".

Thou shalt use no condoms.

Thou shalt not refer to the asshole as a "rosebud."

Thou shalt not use flowery synonyms to describe the prostate.

Thou shalt not call the cock a "manhood," "rod," or "stick of luuvvvv".

Thou shalt not mention the color of thy men's eyes.  And if thee are compelled, they shalt not be amber, cobalt, etc.

Thou shalt not hurt thy men only to comfort them.

Thou shalt not make Ares or Caesar into wussy bottoms.

Thou shalt not refer to "the smaller man".

Thou shalt not call Iolaus "The Golden Hunter" under penalty of death.

Thou shalt not say Iolaus has "golden curls".

Thou shalt not use the word 'golden' in any fic that Iolaus appears in.

Thou shalt not have thy men leaking all over the place from their penile areas, nor shall they penises weep.

Thou shalt only refer to their penile areas as cocks.

Thou shalt consider thy words' connotations.

Thou shalt learn to use the apostrophe.

Thou shalt not Gabby bash in a Joxer fic.

Thou shalt not post hundreds of little bits and call them chapters.

Thou shalt have thy characters talk like real people.

Thou shalt use exposition wisely and frugally.

Thou shalt avoid obvious anachronisms.

Thou shalt avoid Mary-Sues.

Thou shalt not project thyself into the story as Ares' daughter.

Thou shalt never have babies in thy fic to prevent thy readers' vomiting.

Thou shalt not refer to anyone, on matter how young, small or blond as "precious."

Thou shalt not refer to anyone as "small" or "blond".

Thou shall not insert a sex scene when you run out of plot.

Thou shalt not insert plot when you runnest out of sex.

Thou shalt not abuse Herc for no apparent reason.

Thou shall not give us 3 pages of introduction to make up for bad writing.

Thou shalt learn to punctuate dialogue.

Thou shalt watch thy antecedents.

Thou shalt control they POV lest you give thy reader whip-lash.

Thou shalt stick with one POV during a sex scene.

Thou shalt write to the senses.

Thou shalt not over rely on sense of sight.

Unless he is a superman, thou shalt not have thy guys come more than once an hour

Thou shalt be realistic when it comes to all things Joxer.

Thou shalt not write Ares as an abused child.

Thou shalt not use the phrase "as was usual".

Thou shalt spell all major character names correctly.

Thou shalt not write fic before seeing even one episode.

Thou shalt avoid the passive voice.  If thou knowest little about said voice, please consult a grammar guide.

Thou shalt not do crossovers just 'cos you think they'd look soooo cute together.

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