Go Tell It On The Mons Veneris--a KSA Round Robin

Part 1 by Taz

There is a myth that says at the dawn of creation that Zeus, seeing the potential in mankind to rival the gods, forbade them fire. When that didn't quite work out, he had Hephaestus create every variety of illness and trouble he could think of, put them in a box and sent them to Pandora. She, being a curious woman, opened the box and they all flew out to afflict mankind forever. The only thing left in the box was Hope.

Well that's how the myth goes.

The truth is not out there.

"Was this necessary?" Ares took a swipe at the messenger dove, who having completed its errand was still fluttering and chirping around his head.

"Aww, it 'wuvs' you," Discord said.

Ares made to release a ball of blue fire at her but his oldest sister  deflected the shot with a blast of pink hearts. His energy flew straight up  frying the snow-white creature. Feathers flew everywhere.

"Look what you make me do!" he snarled at Discord. She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Enough!" the Goddess of Love said.

"Come on, Ares, Aphrodite wouldn't have called us all here if it weren't important, so let's find out what this is about before we fly off the handle," Hercules said.

"Bite me, you little suck up," his brother invited.

"Shut up, Ares," Aphrodite said. "One more interruption and no one is getting any for a month."

That threat went home to most of those present but Ares was irrepressible. "That won't inconvenience Jerkules, but the rest of us..."

"Two months, Ares. This is serious."

"Is it, Your Golden Gorgeousness? Tell us what it is that troubles you so we can solve the problem and, hopefully, receive our reward from your very own hands. Oh, please, pleeease, pleeeeeease."

The Goddess of Love looked at Salmoneous as one looks at a person who cuts farts in the elevator. "Shut. Up," she said, "and get out of my way."

With out waiting for Sal to move, she gestured and he had to jump fast as, in front of  the pink shell throne she was sitting on, appeared a small, plain wood chest. It was  open and empty. "Someone has stolen The Perversions."

They all looked at her in complete mystification.

"What are The Perversions?" Nebula, who tended toward philosophy, posed the question.

"The Perversions are my sex toys. Made by Hephaestus at the dawn of time."

They all looked at the empty box again but Iolaus and Autolycus cautiously moved forward to peer inside.

"It looks like somebody plundered your pleasure chest," Autolycus said.He spoke  with the air of an expert evaluating a rival's skill.  "Did they nick your rubber knickers too?"

Iolaus knelt down and picked something out of the chest-a piece of flexible tube with a nozzle at one end. It had obviously had something ripped from the other.

 "Oh, no," Discord piped. "Don't tell me, someone swiped the Goddess of Love's Golden Douche Bag."

"Discord, I'm not going to warn..."

"Your golden douche bag? That's terrible, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't..."

"Shut up, Gabrielle."

"But Xena, I was just going to say how refreshing a..."

"I know you were and that would be too much information. Besides, that looks more like an ene..."

Gabrielle had opened her mouth. Callisto was smirking. But Hercules, who agreed with Xena to the degree that there were some things the public wasn't ready for, cut them off. "Aphrodite, you can't have gotten all of us together, just because you lost a bunch of sex toys."

"Yes I can," she said. "And you are going to find them for me. ASAP"

"I can't, I have a village to sack," Draco said.

"And I haven't had lunch yet," Joxer said.

"I don't think she cares," Jase informed him.

It was true; the goddess was resting her forehead in her hand as though she had a migraine cum-er-coming on.

"I have a council meeting this afternoon." She did look up as Iphicles began to whine. "Why us?"

"Why you? Why not you? There isn't a more complete set of panderers, pederasts, cock suckers, carpet munchers, compulsive masturbators, dominatrices, fetishests, tragedy queens, leather girls and louche buccaneers in the classical world! That's why," she finished. "Any more stupid questions?"

"Hey! I resent the implication," Autolycus said. "I only go with 'nice' girls."

"Any of them over 12?"

"And you can't possible mean Hercules." Gabrielle said. "He's the hero."

"Ask him who he's sleeping with."

"We don't need to go there," Hercules said quickly. Both Iphicles and Ares shot him a look and caught each other in the crossfire. All three faced front.

"And I'm a virgin!" Joxer protested. "How can you say that I'm perv..."

"Tell it to the hand," Iolaus snickered.

Joxer, blushing, looked around and caught Gabrielle rolling her eyes and Jase backing away from him as though were infectious. But Discord, Autolycus, Ares and Callisto were turning--staring at him like cobras at the first sweet notes of a flute.

Aphrodite was supporting her head with her hand again. "That's the biggest perversion of all," she said.

"But, what would be so bad if The Perversions are gone." Gabrielle couldn't help herself. "Can't you imagine a pure world. Think about it: no pederasty, no incest, no prostitution, no pornography, no unplanned pregnancies."

"I don't think that follows." Nebula looked confused.

Aphrodite sighed heavily. "The Perversions represent the erotic imagination of mankind, the potential for creative sex play in every mortal, the infinite paths to pleasure. Without those toys--it's *plain vanilla.* Think about it, folks-- once a month, if you're lucky, the missionary position until Tartarus freezes over.

The horror seemed sink in at last.

"No ruby-fruit, Gabs," Xena gently informed her idealistic partner.

"No lap dancing," Ares said.

"No water sports," Iolaus said.

"No all night finger-cuffs," Iphicles said.

But Hercules surprised them all. "No art, no music and no poetry."

"And no leather." Everyone turned and looked at Xena. "It stands to reason," she said. If these toys have been stolen everyone's leather is compromised."

Her remark had a profound effect on Ares, Discord, Hercules, Iphicles, Callisto and Draco. "What are we going to do? When do we start? Where do we start?" The rising babble had an hysterical edge.

"You are going to find them," Aphrodite said as she gestured again and little scrolls appeared in everyone's hand. "Those are lists of the essential items." They all unrolled their scrolls and began reading. "I've had a seer read a duck's liver. It appears that most of my toys have been hidden in the center of Corinth."

"But the center of Corinth is my palace!" Iphicles said. Then, "Of course--in the dungeons, and tunnels and labyrinth underneath it."

"I didn't know there was a labyrinth under the palace," Hercules said.

"It was left over from the time of the Titan's." Ares smacked his head. "Corinth has always been a nexus for strange coincidences."

"Very strange, coincidences," Callisto gave the God of War a suspicious look.

But, before anything could get started Aphrodite continued. "I don't care how you do this--separately, in twos or in teams. You can share ideas, switch partners if you think it will help. I don't care. And so you won't waste time looking for something that's already found, as each item is located, it'll disappear from the tally."

"Like a scavenger hunt!" Iolaus said.

"If you will, Butter Buns," Aphrodite said, "but you've got a week to find my toys--or the world as you know it will be changed forever.

"...Silk Scarves, String of Pearls, Vibrator," Iphicles was reading his list out loud, "Venus Butterfly...Venus Butterfly? What's that?"

"Why don't you ask Callisto," Salmoneus suggested.

This is the list that Aphrodite gave the search party:
Ben Wah Balls
Butt Plug
Ball Gag
Cock Ring
Corset and Fishnet Stockings
Leather Harness and Bridle
Leg Spreader
Nipple Clamp
Ropes and Chains
Silk Scarves
String of Pearls
Vibrator (powered by the energy of a billion butterfly wings)
Venus Butterfly
Whips and Riding Crop

The Search Party Consists of:

Part 2 by JJ

"One deep breath, little king, and I will toast your patooties,"  Callisto said with her classic psycho smile.  Iphicles took a worried step backwards.

Iolaus leaned over, and whispered.  "If I were you, I would let Xena or Ares handle Callisto?"

"Are they the only ones who are strong enough?"

"Not exactly strong enough, but...they do know how to *handle* her."

"Yeah, and they have enough sense not to go to sleep afterwards,"  Gabrielle added.  "I don't know why, but for some reason, I think she should have been called Bobbit."

"Gabrielle, pay attention, this is important.  We're talking about leather here," Xena commanded.

They all turned to Aphrodite, who, with a wave of her hand, transported all of them to Corinth.  They were standing at the entrance to the old dungeons. Iphicles looked around and pointed left.

"That's the way to the labyrinth."  He pointed to the right.  "That's the tunnels and catacombs, and, "  he pointed straight ahead, "that's the old dungeons."

"Hey, Iphicles, didn't you condemn the old dungeons because they were collapsing?"  Hercules asked.

"Uh, yeah.  So are the other two places.  They're all falling down."

All of the participants looked around at the decayed walls and chipping mortar. Gabrielle sniffed disdainfully.

"This place smells worse than Joxer's radish stew."

"Now that is just not fair," Joxer cried.

"It could collapse and bury us all alive," Callisto pointed out in a neurotically cheerful fashion.  Her laughter sounded even more demented bouncing off the the many walls and echoing maniacally throughout the old pathways.

"I'll just look around out here,"  Joxer said scrutinizing the dirt directly surrounding his feet.

"Oh no, you won't,"  Discord said.  "Unless you want old faithful going out with a fizzle.  You're coming with me."

"Help!"  Joxer yelled as they disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Ares leaned over and whispered in his most seductive voice.  "What do you say? You and me in the dark.  Searching for sex toys.  I like it."  He raised his eyebrows seductively.

"I...I think I'll pass, Ares.  Iolaus need a partner?"  Salmoneus asked.

"No way,"  Iolaus darted off down one of the passages, Salmoneus hot on his tail - er trail.

Finally, Iolaus slowed down.  He listened intently for any noise behind him as he caught his breath.  Okay, no one was following him.  He looked around, he was in an old part of the catacombs.  It smelled old, musty and disintegrating.  He took the scroll out of his pocket and reviewed the list.  An interesting set of toys Aphrodite had, that was for sure.

Serenely, Iolaus walked down the corridors looking around.  He wasn't paying much attention when he heard a voice say,

"Imagine meeting you in a dark place like this.  Reminds me of the first time we met, Blondie."

After Iolaus' heart left his throat, he spun on Nebula.  "Are you trying to scare me to death?"

"Water games, Iolaus.  Naughty boy, not that I'm really surprised."  She began to stalk Iolaus. "Found anything yet?"


"I have."  Her smile was pure predator.  "Lookie, lookie."  She held up the longest, pinkest feather boa Iolaus had ever seen.  "Think it's Aphrodite's?" Nebula asked as she ran the feathered accessory between her fingers, and rubbed her face on it.

"Definitely Aphrodite's"  Iolaus responded.

"Think of the things we could do with this."

"I have a better idea, let's get it to Aphrodite and that's one off the list." He backed away from her, knowing better than to be alone with Nebula while she had one of Aphrodite's toys.  The woman was dangerous with just her hands.

"Not so fast, pretty boy."  And Iolaus was suddenly measuring his length in the dirt.  One end of the boa wrapped around his ankle the other in Nebula's hand. Before Iolaus knew what was going on, Nebula had him hog-tied, his pants around his ankles and his vest helping to restrain his arms.

"My, my.  What a pretty package you have."  Nebula said slowly rubbing the boa over his cock and balls.  "Too bad, I didn't find the cock ring."

"Back pocket of my pants,"  Iolaus whispered.

"Oh, Blondie, I knew there was a reason I liked you."  She pulled the device out of his pants and put it on him.  "Aphrodite's?"

"Personal stock,"  Iolaus responded.

Iolaus could only groan as Nebula took his cock in her mouth and proceeded to try to suck his colon out through his dick.  It wasn't long before Iolaus was hard and panting, more than ready for Nebula to finish him off.  He almost screamed when she released him.  Her smile was devilish.

"What are you doing?"  Iolaus cried angrily.

"I owed you something for letting Hercules take my gold.  Later, Blondie," Nebula smiled evilly, wrapped the boa over and around his cock, kissed him on the nose and walked off down the hall.

Iolaus struggled wildly against the boa, but found he was unable to get free from it.  He tried calling out until he heard a timid voice call,


"Hades,"  Iolaus whispered.  He would recognize Salmoneus'  voice anywhere.

Part 3:  The Heart of the Minotaur by Thamiris

"You lose more than your way in a labyrinth."

While the others talked, Autolycus inched toward the door.   Not the door to the chamber of horrors with its fat spiders, bile-green water and shaky foundation.    Hell, forget that stuff:  half the players on this twisted hunt were scarier than a horde of giant spiders.   Ares had already sicced a giant chicken on him (he still couldn't eat barbeque), and Callisto's white-eyed glee just freaked him out.   Discord was kind of cute, if you liked vampires, and Xena...Nice tits, shame about the frosty attitude.  Besides, she and Gabrielle had it all sewn up:   a big pink quilt with "I Heart Lesbos" stitched on it.

Herc and Iolaus loved each other ad nauseam, while Joxer--well, there was something just plain wrong with a thirty-year old virgin.   Joxer's brother was okay, only he wouldn't stop humming the tune from Aristophanes' latest show, and it was getting on his nerves.   Nebulas was a little too handy with the whip, and Draco was all sweet for Gabrielle, psycho for everyone else.   Sal was a good guy, except they always got into trouble together, and he'd had enough trouble lately, what with Ares and the chicken.    So no thank you, ma'am.   Let the others play fetch for Aphrodite, especially since this appeared to be a reward-free gig.  There was only one guy here worth a foray into that death-trap, and he was--

"Going somewhere?"  The royal stud himself, King Iphicles, had his fingers tight on Autolycus' arm.

"What makes you say that, your Worshipfulness?"

"The fact that you're halfway out the door.   I know you'd rather be out there celebrating Lenaea, getting drunk and robbing everyone blind, but--"

Autolycus rapped the wooden frame with his knuckles.   "Just checking the structure, in case someone hid ‘Dite's dildo in here."

"You know, if anyone should get out of this deal, it's me.   I've got a kingdom to run.   I don't have time to chase after some used leather harness."   His grip loosened, but his hand stayed in place, hot and demanding, and made Autolycus' cock swell.

"So, you think she ever put it on Ares?"

Iphicles glanced toward the bickering group.   "Not unless she drugged him first.   He's not the kind of guy who likes to play horsie."

"Sounds like you'd know."

"Look, I'm not here to talk about my sex life."

"Then what are you here for, handsome?"   Autolycus looked pointedly at Iphicles' hand, still on his arm.

"Just making sure you don't go."   He started to leave, heading for freedom.

Autolycus grabbed the white sleeve of his shirt.   "Hold on a minute.   If I'm going through with this thing, you're coming with me."


"Fine."  He gave Iphicles a long hot look.   "Are you as turned on by--"

"I'll need to get a few things first," Iphicles said.   "I don't want to go in there unprepared, no matter how badly ‘Dite wants her paddle."

So the attraction wasn't mutual.  Still, he could keep Iphicles around just to watch that big body move.   The guy was major eye candy.   "If you don't come back, I'm telling the town crier that you're a transvestite goat-fucker.   It'll be all over the city by nightfall."

Iphicles grinned.   "That's old news."   He paused just past the exit.   "Wait for me."

"I'm not going in there alone," Autolycus said.   "Everyone's already taken off."

He watched Iphicles walk away.   The guy had an ass that sang--and Autolycus' cock was joining in with a healthy baritone.    Shifting uncomfortably, he leaned back against one cold grey wall and waited.  From one of the tunnels came a woman's low voice, the rustle of feathers, and a higher-pitched squeak that sounded like Iolaus had tripped and fallen on an open mouth.

Iphicles had a great mouth, all pouty and cock-ready.   So what if he had a little thing going with Ares?   Yeah, the god was hot, but the King of Thieves was pretty handy with his pick.  Came with the territory.   You broke into a house and the guy's pretty, eighteen-year old daughter heard you.   Then it was, "Gimme what I need, you horrible man, or I'll tell my daddy."   He'd been blackmailed so often he got a hard-on just oiling a lock.   Not that he was complaining; it's just that a little mutual two-backed beasting wouldn't kill him, either...If putting Iphicles in that harness and riding him all night long counted as mutual.

"I'm ready," Iphicles said, ducking into the room, a leather pack strapped to his back, and grabbed a torch from the wall.   "Let's go."

"So which way do you--"

But Iphicles was already heading right, toward the labyrinth.   "Don't worry.   I'm pretty sure I remember how to get through it.   Jason told me.   I didn't want to tell the others, but there's something pretty special at the center, and I think it'll help us find some of the stuff."

"This isn't a competition," Autolycus said, jogging after him.

"The hell it's not.   If we don't bring back something good, Hercules will get that look--you know that look?"

"The one where he's just happy to help everyone, with no trace of a self-satisfied smirk, just genuine pleasure at helping out?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Makes me want to strangle him."

Iphicles laughed.    "Me too.   Maybe with that harness, if we ever find it."   They turned right down another mossy corridor and stopped before a marble archway carved with leering faces, tiny tongues protruding.   "In here."

"You sure you know what you're doing?"  Autolycus followed him in, then stopped in his tracks.   "What in the name of Hades' balls is that?"   He pointed to the creature looming ahead, the lower half human, but with a huge bull's head.

"It's a minotaur.   The whole place is painted with scenes from the story of Theseus and Ariadne."

Autolycus studied the huge flared nostrils, the mountainous shoulders, the hooded red eyes.   "There aren't actually any real ones in here, right?   Because I just remembered I'm allergic to minotaurs."

"He's not so bad.   I've always felt kind of sorry for him.   You know, the ugly one nobody wanted, locked in the labyrinth."

"Didn't he eat virgins or something?   Better keep Joxer out of here."   He winked, but Iphicles looked serious.   "Okay, maybe he's not so bad.    I've always had a soft spot for underdogs, anyway.   Give me the minotaur over Theseus any day.   Heroes are a pain.    They make the rest of us look bad."

They started to walk again, twisting and turning through the narrow aisles, the walls flashing color under the torch's flickering light.   The only noise came from the hiss of the flame hitting tangled cobwebs, the clump of their boots on the earthen floor, and the slight jangle from Iphicles' backpack.

"What have you got in there?" Autolycus asked.   "The family jewels?"

"Just some things I didn't want to leave behind.   You can't trust anyone these days."

He eyed the pack with renewed interest.    "So it is the family jewels."

"Like I'm going to tell you?   I know all about you, Auto.   Don't even think of trying to get your hands on the contents.   Even if you do, my guards will find you, and they can be a lot scarier than a giant chicken."

Damn.   Iolaus had a big mouth.   "Hey, you're the one who forced me to come with you.   I have no intention of touching your jewels."

Iphicles turned back and flashed him a look.

"You know what I mean.   So are we just about there yet?"  Even as he asked, Iphicles swung right and they stood in the labyrinth's heart.   Ahead of them, suspended from four silver chains, two from the ceiling, two from the floor, hung a round, blue, wavering circle, like a moonlit pond chained in space.   "Looks like a portal."

"It is," Iphicles said, fixing his brand in the holder on the wall.   "And we're going through.   Like Ares said, Corinth is a nexus for strange coincidences, and it happens that the portal only works on the festival of Lenaea."

"Strange coincidences usually mean a god's trying to teach us a valuable lesson."   He took a step backward.    "I've had all the valuable lessons I need."

"You want Herc to win?   You want to spend the rest of your life listening to Iolaus brag about how he found all the toys and you found nothing?"

"Point taken.   So what's on the other side?"

"Follow me and find out."

"I thought you weren't into this hero stuff, Iph."

"I'm no hero.   I just want to win.   Now jump."    Iphicles took a running leap and flew head first through the portal, which flashed blue lightning before swallowing him.

"The things I do for a great ass," Autolycus mumbled, then dove through.   It was like leaping into a vat of blue honey: it clung to him, stretched his limbs, filled his lungs, then--

Hiccuped him out.

"Ouch."   He sat up, spitting grass and rubbed his green-stained hands against his thighs.   "Guess first-class was too much to expect."

Beside him, looking a little dazed and deliciously rumpled, Iphicles nodded.   "I probably should've mentioned this is the first time I've gone through.   On Lenaea, I'm usually out doing kingly things, like riding around on horseback at the head of the parade, waving like a moron."

"We can always go back."

"No, this is a lot more fun.   I need a break from all that official-duty stuff."   He got to his feet, dusting off the seat of his pants.

Autolycus watched, then stood up, looking around.    They appeared to be on a hill sprinkled with violet flowers, overlooking a calm river that snaked beside a neat village.   Definitely not Corinth, even without the huge marble buildings, or even Greece:  the air was purple-tinged, like seeing the world through an amethyst, and in the distance, high on another hill beyond the river, stood a purple castle that glittered like glass, its gleaming towers rounded, like a giant mouth had blown into them, and they'd expanded under his hot breath.   "Where are we, exactly?"

"I don't think Jason told me the name.   I'm not even sure he ever went through."  Iphicles began to walk down the hill, arms extended for balance.   "He traveled a lot when he was younger, then he started drinking...By the time he stopped, Alcmene wouldn't let him go through.  Said he'd had enough adventure to last a lifetime."

"So this could be the land of the man-eating minotaurs, and we're dinner if we walk into the village?"

"They don't look like minotaurs to me," Iphicles said, pointing to a small circle of children playing knucklebones just inside the low white fence that surrounded the village.   At the crunch of the two men's feet, they glanced over, smiled and waved.  "They're not scared at all."   He waved back.   "This place can't see much war.   That fence sure can't keep anybody out."

They heard a door slam, and Iphicles, about to walk through the gate, froze, sending Autolycus crashing into him.  "What the--"

Three men wearing long lilac robes emerged from a prim white-washed building and paused under the wooden sign painted with green grapes.   Even from a dozen feet away, Autolycus could smell the beer fumes.   His thief's instinct told him they were three merchant-brothers who'd tied one on to celebrate a recent sale, and his fingers itched responsively, while they eyeballed each other.

Then Iphicles stepped ahead, his hand out.   "I'm King Iphicles of Corinth and this is my...friend, Autolycus."

The men broke into smiles and accepted his greeting, each bowing.    The oldest one, with silver hair poking out from under his cap and a short snowy beard, spoke.    "Welcome to Gedros.   I'm Illyan, and these are my brothers, Drangian and Gandhar.  Are you just passing through?"

"Actually, we're here looking for something.   Only it's a little delicate."    Iphicles looked embarrassed, and Autolycus stepped in to save him.

"You guys have a goddess of love?"

"Of course.   Very beautiful, but a little...Well, she's very sweet and does what she can for us."

"We've got one of those, too.   Great woman, with all the right stuff."   He moved his hands in the air, outlining Aphrodite's charms.   "The thing is, she's a little scattered and very horny, and she's lost a bunch of toys she uses to keep her married life interesting, if you get what I'm saying."   Autolycus winked and lightly elbowed Illyan in his impressive belly, just in case this was actually the land of vanilla.

The men's smirks assured him it wasn't.

"Anyway, the king here and I have been recruited to find the stuff for her.   So, have you seen any stray uh...Ben Wah balls, butt plugs, cock rings, dildos, corsets--damn, someone's found the feathers!--fishnet stockings, harnesses, bridles, leg spreaders, manacles, nipple clamps, paddles, ropes, chains, silk scarves, vibrators (powered by the energy of a billion butterfly wings), riding--"

"Wait!  I can tell you about the last one."   Drangian, the youngest and most handsome, with dark curling hair and soulful blue eyes, held up his hand, jewels shining in the mauve gloom, as the sun began to sink behind the hill.   "The vibrator (powered by the energy of a billion butterfly wings).   Last night a man came into the inn, very late.   I was the only one left, other than Petricus, the innkeeper.    We'd both been drinking, which is why I don't remember much about him, just that he had the brightest blue eyes I've ever seen.   And he sold me just such a vibrator, for a bagful of gold.  I knew I had a find worthy of a king, so this morning I took it to the sultan of Gedros and offered it to him as a gift."

"A gift?"  His older brother snorted.    "More like a bribe."   He turned back to them.   "You see, our sultan is looking for a man to marry off his daughter and take over the land, only he's set an impossible task:   the man has to sleep with each of his beautiful daughters."

"Sounds pretty easy to me," Autolycus said.

"Except that the sultan has three hundred and sixty-five daughters, and he expects his future son- in-law to sleep with one a night, every night, for a year."

Autolycus gleefully rubbed his hands together.   "I've had dreams about this.   Take me to your leader."

"It's a little late now."  Illyan nodded at the drooping sun.    "The sultan always dines with his family, and he has as many wives as daughters."

"We can spare the time," Iphicles told Autolycus in a low voice.   "I know from Herc that time passes a lot faster in these alternate universes.   It'll feel like a few days to us, but it'll only be a few minutes back home."

"Good, because this guy sounds richer than Croesus and Midas put together."

Illyan heard him.    "He's fabulously wealthy.   His palace is made of amethyst, and everything inside is encrusted with precious jewels.   The feasts are as exhausting as they're wonderful, with acrobats, musicians, poets and actors to entertain him and his family.  The sultan deals with business matters only in the afternoon, so he can relax in the evening.   Spend the night at the inn, as our guests, and we'll take you to him tomorrow.   And you won't forget us, will you, a year from now?"

"No worries, Pops.   You set this up, and maybe there'll be a place on my council for you and your brothers."

"I'm impressed," Iphicles said as they followed the three back into the inn.   "You negotiated that pretty well.   Maybe I should find a place for you on my council."

Autolycus heard something in Iphicles' voice and turned to face him.    "I'd be happy to show you all I know.  I mean, tell you."

Okay, something was wrong.   The prospect of getting his bean waxed for a whole year by a bunch of gorgeous chicks, with an eye on a very rich prize, and he was still obsessed with getting Iphicles into bed?   "I need a drink," he said, and hurried inside.

Several tankards of foamy dark ale and a plate of baklava later, each accompanied by yet another description of the sultan's fabulous palace and impossibly voluptuous daughters, and Autolycus still got hard when Iphicles' knee accidentally brushed his under the round table.   Something had to be done.

Leaning back in his chair, extending his arms far as they could go, Autolycus gave the mother of all yawns.   "Boy, it's been a long day.   Who knew that looking for a vibrator (powered by the energy of a billion butterfly wings) could be so exhausting?"

"Of course.   Petricus will show you to your room.   We'll be by tomorrow afternoon to take you to the sultan."   The brothers bowed again and staggered toward the door.

Petricus, a ring of keys in his hand, led them up the back stairs, spotless as the rest of the inn.   "My wife's made up your bed, and left you out some fruit and wine, and a full tub."   He paused discreetly.   "And beside the bed, there's some very nice peach-flavored oil for your pleasure.  Anything else you want, just let us know.   Illyan has taken care of everything."

"They think we're lovers," Iphicles said, when the door closed behind the innkeeper.

"I think that's because you introduced me as ‘your...friend.'"   Or maybe because they noticed how he couldn't stop drooling over Iphicles, who seemed oblivious.

"What else was I going to call you?   They wouldn't be too happy if they knew they had a thief in their midst."   He dropped the pack on the table where it landed with a loud thud.   The candles in their silver holders shook, sending shadows dancing across the pine walls, and the apples in the bowl rumbled a little.

"That's ex-thief," Autolycus told him, tossing his boots into a corner, trying not to eye the bag too conspicuously.   "I've got a new career: future sultan."

Iphicles began to strip, piling his clothes on the back of a pine chair.   "You know, you might not like it."

"What's not to like?   You heard them.    The sultan's eldest daughter is the prettiest one of all-- which we know for sure, from that picture hanging over the fireplace--and I'll have money and power beyond my wildest dreams.  What's not to like?" he repeated.

"Well, I'm no sultan, but being king is a lot of work.   It's meetings with pissed off citizens, who want you to hear land claims, dowry disputes, sewage problems.   There are ambassadors to deal with, who look at you like you're an idiot if you use the wrong spoon, and your councillors never stop correcting everything you do.   It wasn't so bad when Rena was alive, but now..."  He broke off and shrugged.   "Guess this is why people like Herc better.    I complain too much.  You mind if I go in first, since you're not ready?"  At Autolycus' nod, Iphicles walked naked to the tub and climbed in, sighing as the steaming water covered him.

His head spinning, Autolycus didn't talk for a few minutes, just admired the scenery.   No one should look that good naked.   It was criminal.   That cock...Long, with a thick rounded head, it was like a scepter.   Autolycus almost made a joke, then decided it was a little too revealing.   Instead, he settled back on the bed, supporting his back with feather-stuffed pillows against the brass headboard.    "I thought you and Ares were tight."

Iphicles shifted in the tub, sending a rain of scented water onto the braided rug beneath.   "I'm just one of dozens.   I think he just likes to fuck me because we look alike.   At least that's what everyone says."

"You don't look that much like him," Autolycus said.   "Your eyes are more brown.   And there's the hair, too.   Plus, you have very different attitudes.   I'm not worried that you're going to rip off my head and feed it to your dogs."

"You mean, like he's authoritative and commanding, and I'm just...there?"

"You're not serious   Hell, the first time I saw you, I..."   What was that weird hot feeling in the pit of his stomach, that spread up and brushed his cheeks?   It couldn't actually be embarrassment, could it?   It's just that the first time he saw Iphicles, standing in the atrium of his palace talking to Herc and Iolaus, he'd...Well, it was the weirdest thing, and the reason he'd avoided Iphicles all this time.   He'd taken one look at him and just...came.   No other stimulation, nothing.   He'd shaken Iphicles' hand after, acutely aware of the wetness between his legs, then went up to his room and jerked off three times in a row, like some horny teenager.

"You saw me and what?   Wondered if Jason was still drinking when he gave me the crown?"

"I was impressed."  There.   Simple and truthful, with the sticky bits removed.

"You didn't seem very impressed," Iphicles said.   "You barely said anything to me.   In fact, I got the feeling that you were avoiding me.   You'd only talk to me if I spoke to you."  He grabbed a towel and got out to dry himself.

Autolycus decided the room was a little steamy and opened the shutters, standing there until he could take his pants off without further embarrassing himself.

"I guess the silence says it all."

"It's not that."   Without looking at Iphicles, he pulled off his clothes and slid into the water.   "It was just...So, what about those Argonauts?   Pretty impressive, snagging that giant fleece and all."   When Iphicles said nothing, Autolycus risked a look and saw the king with the towel knotted around his waist, standing at the window.   "You know, I bet that after this, people start telling stories about Iphicles and the butterfly-powered vibrator."

"Doesn't have quite the same ring as Jason and the golden fleece."

"Maybe not, but then you had the balls to jump through that portal, not knowing what was on the other side.   It could've been man-eating minotaurs--there was no guarantee.   Not even Jason ever did that.  It took guts, you know.   I sure as hell wouldn't have done it, if you hadn't gone first."

"Yeah, but you've done all sorts of great stuff, Auto.   You talk a lot about being afraid, but you always come through.   I know I ribbed you about the whole chicken episode, but you and Iolaus saved a whole lot of people by taking out Discord.   You've done things.   You've gone up against Callisto.   Hell, you've even been inside Xena's body.   You might be a thief, but you've done a lot of good things, too."   Iphicles spun around and padded over to the table.  "There's no wine here," he said, lifting his pack, as though it hid the bottle, then turned in the tub's general direction.    "I'll go get some."

"Good idea.   You do that."   It would give him a chance to get out of the tub without showing his hard-on, which was coming back no matter what.   As the door shut, he quickly climbed out, wiping away the water with a fresh towel, then took an apple from the ceramic bowl.   His hand brushed against the smooth leather of Iphicles' pack, and, idly, he wondered again what was in it.   He'd never steal from Iphicles, though.   The guy had enough problems.   Besides, he liked Iphicles--his cock twitched affirmatively.   Not just because he was hotter than Hephaestus' forge, but because he wasn't so full of himself like other people.   Here he was, a gorgeous king, and he still thought of himself as a regular guy.

That's when Autolycus made up his mind.   All that talk about their first meeting hinted that maybe Iphicles wasn't quite as immune to the famous Auto-charm as he'd first thought.   Why not risk it and give him one long, hot kiss when he came back?   The worst he could get for it is a punch in the nose, nothing compared to a tongue in that beautiful mouth.   He positioned himself between the door and the bed, and waited.   Twice, he changed his mind and sat down, because what if Iph hated him after this?   Just as he stood up the third time, the door opened.

Here went everything.

Autolycus kicked the door shut, took the bottle and glasses from Iphicles, put them on the table, then walked right up to him and did it:   one long, hot kiss on the lips.

Only it didn't stop there.   Not when Iphicles' mouth opened and his tongue pushed back, while his arms went around Autolycus and his hips rocked into him.   They were on the bed in seconds, both naked, and Iphicles found the oil, smearing it on his cock, on Autolycus' cock, and they rubbed together until there was oil on everything and they were both harder than any scepter.   And they kept kissing, tongues thrusting deep, fingers twisting nipples, stroking balls, sliding into each other's bodies.

Then the kiss broke, and instead of tongues they swallowed cocks, sucking hard while their hands explored, then Iphicles was on his back, his legs spread wide, guiding Autolycus' cock where his fingers had been, miles into his body, and they kissed again, and it was hotter now, even a little desperate, and he swore Iphicles moaned his name only he couldn't tell because his veins were full of lightning and his head was full of thunder, and then the storm ended in a flood, white and burning, while Iphicles writhed and bucked under him.

That was the first time.

The second, Autolycus filled a glass with white wine ("It's weird, they don't have red here-- haven't even heard of it") and poured it down Iphicles' chest, licking it off his nipples, which made Iphicles whimper and arch, so he did it again, but let the wine trickle lower, down Iphicles' newly-hard cock and over his balls, and he licked that up, too, which made Iphicles call out his name.   Autolycus liked that, and took his time, outlining the swollen head of Iphicles' cock, while pushing his thighs wider apart so he could tongue him even lower, lick that tight red hole that was still leaking semen.

This time, though, Iphicles pushed him onto the damp sheets and lifted Autolycus' legs, wrapping them around his waist before shoving his cock in him, and he came so hard and fast it was like that first meeting all over again.

The third time, he fucked Iphicles against the window sill, barely noticing the violet moon that floated between silver clouds, just kept ramming his cock inside Iphicles, not just for the pleasure, but to hear the sounds he made, to see the sweat that mixed with the oil and turned Iphicles into a living statue, to feel the arms tighten around his neck, to feel Iphicles' come splatter across his chest.

They almost made it a fourth time, but were both so exhausted they fell asleep mid-way through, Iphicles' cock still buried inside him, arms coiled around each other, tongues entwined.

"Gotta love that minotaur," Autolycus muttered just before the world dimmed.

Iphicles was eating an apple, one foot up on the chair's woven seat.   "Want one?"

"Sure," Autolycus said, and caught it.   In the morning light, he saw the bruises on Iphicles' thighs and throat, where he'd sucked and squeezed him.   "So last night wasn't just a wet dream.   Good."

"Sounds like you want it to happen again."

"Well..."  About to launch into a string of defensive bullshit, he cut it off.   Might as well be honest.   "Yep, if that's all right with you, your Worshipfulness."   He was relieved when Iphicles smiled.

"Yes.   I've wanted this for a long time.   There's just something about you, Auto.   It's too bad that..."   He took another bite of his apple.

"Too bad what?"

"It's too bad I had to sort of blackmail you into it."

Autolycus quickly ran through the night's events.   Nope, it didn't make sense.   "Iph, maybe you're still dreaming, but you didn't blackmail me into anything.  I seduced you, remember?   You came back with the wine, and I jumped you?"

"Yeah, but that was because of the scroll.   You had to do it."

"Maybe you'd better lie down, Iph, until this passes.    There's no scroll."

"Look, Auto, it's okay.   I put it in there deliberately.   I wanted this to happen and figured it wouldn't unless I pressured you.   I mean, I didn't want to force you--just encourage you, you know?"

"Iph, maybe during all of that rolling around last night I hit my head on something, but I swear on my mother's grave that I have no idea what you're talking about."

"The scroll," he said again.

Autolycus threw back the sheet and walked over to Iphicles to feel his forehead.   "Nope, you don't have a fever.   You always get a little loopy after a ton of sex?"

"You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?   Okay, then answer me this:   why did you kiss me last night?"

"It's like this, Iph.  I think you're pretty okay.  Some of it's lust, sure, but it's also mixed in with some other stuff I'm not really ready to talk about, if you know what I mean."   He took a bite of apple, chewing aggressively.   Then:  "Isn't it obvious?   Why else would I have followed you through that labyrinth and jumped through the blue moon-thing, not to mention fucked you all night long, if I didn't...uh...consider you worthy of my manful affections?"

"Because of this."   Iphicles unlaced the ties of his pack and drew out a bound scroll.

"What's this?"

"I think I've just really embarrassed the shit out of myself.  Look, just read it, and don't send the Erinyes after me, okay?   I had it made up right before we went into the labyrinth.   It's one of the things I got when I left you."

Autolycus quickly untied the ribbon and unrolled the parchment.   "Autolycus, by reading this, you have broken Corinthian law.   You have two choices.   The first is to spend life in prison.  The second is to kiss the king.  Signed, Iphicles, king of Corinth."   He started to laugh, riding the syrupy feeling that wound through his body.    "You mean this was a set-up?    You wanted this to happen?"

"Of course I did!   From the beginning.   How could you not know?   It was so obvious."

"Obvious?   Iph..."  He shook his head.   "It doesn't matter now.   We'd better stop before we turn into Xena and Gabrielle."

"Or Herc and Iolaus."   Iphicles grinned at him.   "You know, Auto, you did actually just break the law by opening that scroll.   So what's it going to be?   Prison, or a kiss?"

"I have a third option," Autolycus said, dropping to his knees.   "I think you might like it."

The sultan of Gedros sat on a gold throne in a room made of amethyst.   He wore a high purple hat and stiff purple robes with diamonds sewn along the collar, hem and cuffs, shooting off beams whenever he moved.   His white beard hung to his soft belly, and he stroked it like a cat.  Behind him stood his councillors dressed in lilac silk, their fingers heavy with jewels.   While they were quiet, songbirds with purple-tipped wings chirped in gold cages suspended from the amethyst ceiling.

After a pause, the sultan tapped the long, pointed toe of his purple slipper three times, then said, "Bring out the vibrator (powered by the energy of a billion butterfly wings)."

Seconds later, a trio of servants shuffled back, carrying between them a lavender silk pillow.   On it rested the infamous sex toy.   About the length of Autolycus' forearm, and nearly as thick, the vibrator was made of polished ivory, with a tapered head encrusted with tiny pearls, and a base ringed with rubies.  "For friction," he whispered to Iphicles.

"Open it," the sultan commanded.

One of the servants pushed an invisible button and a side panel flipped open.   Inside sat row upon row of tiny silver butterflies no bigger than an apple seed, their wings a mosaic of blue, red and green stone chips.

"Turn it on."

A low humming filled the room as the wings began to flap in a blur of color.

"Touch it."

Iphicles rested his fingers on the smooth vibrating surface.   "It's very beautiful," he said, "and I can understand why you wouldn't want to part with it.   But I have something you might want to trade for it."

"I appreciate that, King Iphicles, but my world here is really perfect.   I have many wives, and they've already expressed a great fondness for this toy."

"Just take a look."   Iphicles reached into his pack and pulled out a bunch of purple grapes.   "I noticed that in your land you grow only white ones.  Where I come from, these grow all over."

The sultan's plum-colored eyes opened wide, and he waved Iphicles closer.   "Are they just for eating, or," his voice dropped reverentially, "do they also turn into wine?"

"They make excellent wine, rich and sweet.   If you hold a glass up to the light, it's the most beautiful shade of purple you've ever seen."

"Excellent!   Then we have a deal.   And perhaps we can find more to trade."

Iphicles bowed, and accepted the vibrator and a piece of purple silk to wrap it in.   "I'd be honored."

"Then our business is concluded--except for one thing.   Illyan, one of my subjects, mentioned that your man Autolycus was interested in becoming the future sultan of Gedros.   It would be my pleasure to play host to him while he tried to complete my condition: to bed a different one of my three hundred and sixty-five daughters every night for a year.   Only a man of true stamina could accomplish this, and I'd be honored to make him my heir."   He waved his hand, and a dozen young women walked through a door, each more beautiful than the next.   All smiled with perfect teeth at Autolycus, giggling behind slim hands.   "After you'd bedded each one of them, you'd marry my eldest, my beautiful Liaana, and rule my land."

Autolycus looked at the pretty girls, with their shining hair and smooth skin, their pert breasts and tiny waists.   Then he looked at Iphicles, who had an unreadable expression on his face.    "Your sultanship, before I saw your daughters, I thought I'd be man enough for the job.   But now, having feasted on their loveliness, I have to say that I'm not worthy."

The sultan nodded in understanding.   "You're not the first man to say that.   So many now, in the last year, have come and gone.   I'm worried that I'll have no successor."

"If you don't mind a little suggestion, your greatness, you might consider a slight adjustment to your rule.   I know that Drangian here is a very loyal subject.   Remember, he gave you that vibrator out of sheer devotion, when he could have used it to win over half the population of Gedros.   Instead, he handed it over to you.   The girls seem to like him, too."

"Yes, I suppose you're right.   Drangian, approach."

The young man, trembling under his robes, walked up to the throne, then dropped to his knees, resting his head against the sultan's slippered feet.

"Rise," the sultan said, taking Drangian's hand.    "In a year's time, on the festival of Mahalian, you'll take over for me as sultan of Gedros."

Behind him, the councillors cheered, the daughters applauded, and the birds sang.   When the noise died down, the sultan smiled.   "Apparently, I should've done this a long time ago.   Thank you for everything.   Our two nations will have a long and prosperous relationship."

Bowing, Iphicles and Autolycus left the amethyst palace.

"Say, Iph."


"Remember what you said about time working differently here?"

"I think I know where you're going with this."   Iphicles' arm was already sliding around Autolycus' waist.

"Let's go back to the inn and see what this puppy can do."

Part 4:  Sex, Lies, And Where Can I Buy The Videotape? by JaimeBlue

The world re-shaped itself and the two travelers appeared in a part of the labyrinth that looked exactly the same as the one they'd just left.

The ebony-maned Goddess watched as the hapless wannabe warrior picked himself up off the ground.  "We didn't go that far.  You shouldn't even feel dizzy."

"There was a rock on the ground."

"Yeah, sure."  She rolled her eyes and shook her head, leaning back against the labyrinth wall with her arms crossed over her leather-bound chest.  "With you there's always a rock, isn't there?"

Joxer didn't bother answering.  He stood there several moments as the Goddess watched him, making him more uncomfortable by the second.  "Ummm, shouldn't we start looking?"

"In a second."  She stared at him a moment more before speaking again.  "Okay, I've tried figuring it out and failed.  Why'd you do it?"

"Do what?"


"I didn't lie.  Joxer the Mighty never lies!"  Joxer's eyes were wide with worry.

"Oh yes you did."  The Goddess pulled away from the wall and walked around Joxer, stopping immediately behind him so she could whisper in his ear.  "You seriously didn't think the Goddess of Discord had no idea of what went on in the most discordant places in Greece, did you?"

"Ummm, what kind of places would those be?"

Eris answered him as she continued her circling.  "Oh, you know, villages near battle-grounds, jails, bars," she paused and looked straight into his eyes, "whorehouses and inns."

Joxer just stood there, too afraid to speak.  He gulped as if his life depended on it.

"It's so interesting how certain places seem to attract so much trouble and strife.  People too.  Just take my favourite mortal for example.  Her string has been discordant almost from the moment she was born.  I think you know her.  The two of you have provided me with so many hours of entertainment, Strife too when he was around."  Her eyes glazed over for a moment.  "He was such a big fan of yours."

"You leave Meg alone!"

Eris snapped out of her reverie.  "Don't worry about Meg -- I like her too much to mess with her.  I usually don't have to since trouble seems to come to her.  You on the other hand," her voice continued, harder than before, "had better learn the proper way to speak to a Goddess."

Joxer bit down on his bottom lip as his shoulders slumped.

"Now, answer my question.  Why did you lie about being a virgin?"

"It's none of your business.  My Lady," he added as a second thought.

Eris' eyes flared in anger.  She began stalking along the narrow corridor as she tried to decide what to do with the stubborn mortal.  Suddenly, her eyes caught on an object in the distance that seemed to have been painted an interesting shade of pink.

She made her way down the hallway until she could pick up the object, and she smiled.  She ran her fingers along the smooth wood of the paddle and practically purred.  She looked at the handle to read the few words inscribed there: 'Property of the Goddess of Love.'

She smacked the paddle against her hand for good measure as she turned around - to find the mortal was no longer where they'd arrived.  She ran down the hall until she eventually caught up with the man, grabbing onto the back of his 'armour' mid-run and pulling him down onto the ground.

"How dare you try to run away from me!  Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Joxer just lay on the ground, eyes closed and waiting for the Goddess to put him out of his misery.

"Oh no, you're not getting out of this that easy.  Now strip."

His eyes shot open.  "What?"

"You heard me.  Strip.  For that little trick, you deserve twenty strokes of this little toy, minimum, and it hurts so much better when you're naked."  The man managed to get back onto his feet, but just stood there doing nothing.  "I could do it for you, but I won't guarantee you'll ever get your clothes back."

Joxer was naked in less than a minute's time.

The Goddess materialized a low stool to sit upon and motioned a hand over her lap.  Joxer shuffled a little, nervous about what the Goddess was planning on doing to him.  Finally, he sighed in resignation and bent over Eris' thighs.

Eris took a moment to look over the too-pale skin.  She ran a finger down Joxer's spine, causing a slight shiver through his body.  She gripped the paddle tightly in her hand, and with a wide swing, landed a blow on the man's white ass.  Joxer's body tensed at the contact and Eris relished the man's gasp.  By the fifth swing, Eris' eyebrows were raised.  Not only did the redness of Joxer's ass contrast nicely with his pale skin, but a certain side-effect of the paddling was now poking into her thigh.

She held the paddle only fingers away from the red cheeks.  "Tell me why."


The two remained silent, Eris with the paddle ready to strike any second.  Finally, after several moments, Joxer began wiggling on her lap.  "You really want it, don't you."


"Admit it.  You love the feel of this hard paddle smacking against your ass.  Come on, say it."

"N-no.  I-i-i don't."

"Oh yes you do.  Or at least your cock does.  You want me to go on, don't you."  Joxer mumbled something she couldn't make out.  "What was that?"

"Yes," he whispered softly, yet loud enough for her to hear him.

"Then tell me why you lied."

Joxer was silent.  Eris began rubbing the paddle against the warm skin in encouragement.

"Gabby wouldn't love me if she knew my real relationship with Meg."

At first his answer confused the Goddess, then her eyes widened in understanding.  "Don't tell me you're still in love with the little bitch?"

"Hey, don't talk about her like that!"

"I can't believe it!  You mean you've been mooning over her all this time despite the fact she's been bangin' Xena?"  The Goddess almost dropped the paddle as she erupted in a fit of giggles.

"She's not with Xena!  She does love me - she just doesn't know it yet."

"Wow, and I'm the one to break it to you.  Yes, she *is* with Xena.  Haven't you even seen the way they act together?"

"They're best friends."

"Wrong.  They have their own suite waiting for them on Lesbos.  You know, there's a word for people like you."


"Pathetic."  The man slumped down even more on her lap, his erection growing softer by the second.  It looked like the sorry excuse for a warrior was finally accepting the true nature of the object of his affections.

She ran a hand down his pale skin again, thinking how it reminded her of the skin of one of her former lovers.  She took a moment and stretched out her senses to see if any of the other searchers were nearby.  The last thing she needed was to be interrupted by that twin brother of hers.  She sensed the presence of three mortals about ten minutes away.  She smiled predatorily as she realized which mortals were in fact approaching.

"Well, you *have* answered my question.  I guess I could reward you."  She grabbed onto Joxer's shoulder and helped pull him off her lap so she could look him in the eye.  "You know, you look so much like your brother."

"Is Jace coming?"  Joxer's head swung around worriedly.

"Wrong brother, mortal.  He's kind of lost his touch with women since he landed in Miramus.  I wonder if there's anything you could do better than he can?"

The words seemed to spark something in Joxer's eyes.  His entire life, he'd been upstaged by his over achieving brother Jett, and even the chance that he may be better at something than the assassin was something he didn't take lightly.  He looked up at the Goddess looking down at him expectantly, reached up a hand to wrap into her long black hair, and pulled her mouth against his.

Eris was surprised.  She'd only used those words to goad the man into making a move, but his lips were unexpectedly skilled.  Well, she thought, maybe Meg's screaming wasn't just for show after all.  She moved off the stool and pushed Joxer onto his back.  The man's hands moved up her waist to her leather-clad breasts, and with a thought the material disappeared leaving her as naked as he was.

Joxer's fingers didn't waste a moment and began teasing and twirling the Goddess' nipples.  His brain shut down, not even registering the fact that it was a Goddess he was fondling and allowing his body to act automatically.  He pressed his hips upward, his now-fully erect cock brushing against the light fur between her legs.

Eris broke the kiss, smiling down at the mortal as she rose up and impaled herself on his cock.  His hands slowly moved down from her breasts, along her waist, to finally rest on her hips.  He held her tightly in place above him, then began thrusting up in an even rhythm.  Eris' hand moved to her breasts, which she began pinching and twirling in time to Joxer's thrusts.

Eris was pleasantly surprised that she was enjoying herself so much.  The mortal's hard cock felt so good thrusting up into her.  All of a sudden, the man's hands were on her back, pulling her body down against his, and the next thing she knew, she was on her back with his ass still pumping into her.  She let out a loud moan as his thrusts increased in speed and strength.

Joxer's lust-glazed eyes looked down at the Goddess, her breasts moving in time to his every thrust.  He bent over, taking one of the hardened nipples into his mouth, sucking and nibbling until the Goddess cried out loud.  He moved on to the other and felt Eris' legs wrap around his hips.  She felt so hot wrapped around his cock, he couldn't help but pump a little harder.

The Goddess' breath was coming in gasps now and Joxer knew she was close.  After a couple more strokes, he bit down on the nipple in his mouth.  Eris' body tensed up, her breath catching in her throat, and then her body went limp, all but the flesh convulsing around his cock.  Joxer finally let himself thrust wildy into her, only needing a few strokes before he came.

Joxer collapsed against the Goddess, his soft cock still inside her, and his lips nuzzled against her neck.  She smiled at the picture they must make, and silently counted to herself.  5-4-3-2-1...


The man's face shot up and quickly went whiter than it had ever been.  Discord only smiled.

"Why ladies, it's about time you got here."  Xena and Gabrielle were paralyzed in place, unable to move, if even to lift their jaws off the ground.  Callisto just giggled.  "Joxer here was just proving his use to me."  Joxer's head dropped down again as if he were trying to hide his face in her neck.  She moved her lips over to his ear, "Definitely better than Jett."

"Oooh, a toy!" Callisto cried, grabbing Joxer by the shoulder and pulling him from Eris.  "Now, what shall we do with him, huh?"

Joxer could do nothing but cringe as the woman cackled maniacally.

Part 5 by Joey RZ

Jace would have liked to have said he entered the maze because his great  sense of direction.  He would have loved to say that he felt sure he would  find something of 'Dite's in there.  He would have been orgasmically happy to say he entered the labyrinth because he felt brave.

But in reality, he just followed the cute butt.

Jace hadn't been able to keep his eyes off the warlord since they first  appeared in the goddess of love's temple.  Draco was a real specimen of a man.  Hard muscles, tight ass, bad boy attitude, and one very hot set of...  vocal cords.  He'd been thinking of the man since they met in Melodia.

The man wasn't just a pretty face, he had talent to top it off.

So Jace followed Draco, who was following Gabrielle, into the labyrinth.


Somewhere along the way, Draco lost the trail of the love of his life.   Gabrielle was following that bitch Xena too closely, and he couldn't get  near enough.  Now he had lost them.

Sighing, he turned in a circle, casting the glow from his torch to every  corner, hoping to find one of Aphrodite's little toys.  A glint of metal  caught his eye, and he walked over to the corner.  It was a dead end, a  little circle with a only the one narrow entrance.  He carefully knelt on  the rocky ground, trying not to cause too many vibrations that could make  the ceiling cave.  He looked up and saw that the beam holding off the dirt  up was almost collapsing.  Turning slowly back, he picked up a set of ropes  and chains.  He grinned madly, thinking of how lucky that god of the forge  was.

Jace saw Draco enter a little opening in the wall, and followed him silently, using all his dance knowledge into not making a sound.  An  unexpected entrance always had more effect.

Seeing Draco kneeling, the leather pants tight across his ass, made him drool.  Straightening his shoulders, he raised his foot and brought it down  hard.  The sound of his heeled shoes made the object of his erections turn  swiftly back... and the ceiling collapsed.


As the dust settled, both men found themselves trapped in the little corner of the maze, with enough space between the debris and the now collapsed  ceiling to allow air in.

Draco looked as if he could kill Jace, but then he remember the ropes and chains.  Oh no... this man deserved a finer kind of punishment...

Part 6 by Oshun Anat

Eris watched as Callisto grabbed her only lover that actually had an IQ over two with interest. Callisto was insane, which she discovered makes for some really hot sex. Although, she would have you know that she didn't discover it this because she had slept with Strife. She would never sleep with her son. Seriously! She wouldn't. Okay, so I didn't believe her either, but when you are the mortal narrator, you do as your told.

Anyhow, as much as she wanted to stay and watch the proceedings, she couldn't bring herself to it. After all, as much as she loved leather clad psychos, she just couldn't bring herself to like Xena. Now, don't tell her I told you, but she's told me she wants to play "Dungeon Master (or in the case Mistress)  and Impudent Prisoner" with Xena, but can't think of a way to do it without totally pissing off Ares. Yeah. Really. Seems she has this fantasy involving a full cavity search followed by.er.um.nothing. Yeah. That's right, nothing. Eris doesn't really want to bottom to Xena, and that's not because she's got something sharp and pointy at my neck. Umm.where were we? Oh yeah. So instead of staying with the two delicious leather clad women, , she reminded herself to make another visit to Meg's-this time when Joxer was there, and quietly snuck away for the small crowd gathered around the insane Goddess and the warrior wannabe.

*  *  * In the meantime, back in Aphrodite's Temple.

"Mom! Would you stop pacing already! You're making me dizzy! You're-you're starting to wear out the marble!"

Aphrodite spun around and glared at her son. "Did you just insult my weight, flyboy?"

Uh-oh. She's starting to sound like Ares. If I were Eros, I'd start kissing ass now. Then again, no one ever said that he was the smartest kid on the block.

"That's not what I meant mom! I didn't mean it literally.it's just. You should just relax. You know? You do have "Greece's Most Horny Mortals and Deities" on the toy's trail. Hey wait, doesn't that sound like it'd make a kick ass scroll?"

"Not now Eros! We'll worry about profiting from Love-I mean, sharing our knowledge-after we get my toys back!"

"You know, Aphroslutty, Eros is right. You're toys will be found in no time flat."

Aphroslut---I mean, Aphrodite spun around to find Eris smirking, the previously mentioned pink paddle in one hand, and a really huge strap on pink flesh with red tip dildo strapped on around her waist-and nothing else.

Hey! Wait a minute? Where the fuck did she come from? I had her wandering around in some unnamed corridor under Iph's palace. I demand that I get control back. UMMMMPH!

<sound of ripping pages>

Okay, everybody, listen up. This is Eris. I've taken control of your precious little narrator. I've got her bound and gagged somewhere in my Temple, and I'm not letting her go until this story comes to an end. I hate it when you writers think you are above me. Anyway, now, without any further ado, the rest of the story

<pages are now taped back together>

"Go away Eros, I need to have a talk with your mother."

Eros was smarter then he looked. Instead of arguing with me he disappeared in a puff of white feathers.

"I've played your little game, Aphrodite. I found your precious paddle, had a good lay with Joxer. Now I'm going to take my reward."

"You mean, sleeping with one of the most talented mortals wasn't enough for you?"

"He's *mortal* Aphrodite. He's good, but he'll never get as good as you are. Of course, he hasn't sleeping around for millennia either. So, what do you say? Let me fuck you, and I'll give you back your paddle."

I held my breath for a second as she thought about it. Could I actually get what I want? I mean, no matter how annoying she is, and despite the fact that her head probably could be used as flotation device, she is hot, I'll give you that.

"All right. Deal."

Yes! Score!

"Great. Now strip!"

Aphrodite just winked at me, and began to take it all off. Not a deliberate strip tease, but it had the same effect. First that wisp of pink lace she called an 'shell' came off. Followed by the bra, revealing her firm breasts that I couldn't wait to get my hands on. Wouldn't those nipples look really hot clamped, or maybe pierced? But that would have to come later, after all, what did Ares' current pet mortal say "Divide and Conquer?" Okay, so that really doesn't apply here, but the thought of dividing up all my plans is probably good. Don't want to scare her until I have her in some of Heph's chains anyway.

And finally came off the pink lace underwear. Oh my god! She *is* blond. Ha! Strife owes me ten dinars.


I snap my mouth shut. I can't believe it. I've finally got Aphrodite where I want her and I'm drooling like a love sick puppy? Who am I turning into, Joxer?

"Get on the bed." I gently push her onto the huge bed that dominates the room. She lays back gracefully, into the single most erotic pose I've ever seen, I've got to have her!

I bend down in between her thighs and lap at her clit, and soon I see little shivers running through Aphrodite's body. Grinning, I start sucking it, as I start working a few fingers into her still surprisingly tight cunt. I  guess that's the advantage of being a Goddess of Love-sleep with five thousand guys, never get stretched. I wonder if Cupid is as tight.


Guess I found her g spot. I work it a little longer until she's starts shuddering in climax. I massage it until she is just come down from her orgasm, then I strike. I quickly pull out of my fingers and ram my new found cock into her body.

"Yes!" I start pounding into her as fast as Ares, enjoying the moans and whimpers coming from Aphrodite as well as the stimulation on my clit.

"Fuck me harder Eris, damn it!"

Who am I to disobey? What she wants, she gets. I throw all my strength into fucking her, massaging her clit with my fingers and she pulls and pinches at her breasts. I feel it building up inside me, and I start screaming Aphrodite's name as I come, I can vaguely hear her cries behind me as she finishes herself off.

I pull out of Aphrodite, and with a thought, the fake cock and the paddle are lying on the table, as clean as the fake cock can be.

"We'll have to do that again sometime."

"Oh yeah, but next time, I'm on top."

"No way!"



"Yes! You won't be able to stop me, I'll strike when you least expect it!"

"Forget it Aphrodite," I said yawning, "Let's argue about it after a nap."

"Sure." Her yawn was so loud it almost completely drowned her out.

Then suddenly, just as I was almost asleep, I heard an all too familiar startled gasp.

"What in Tartarus?!"

Great. Hercules. The perfect end to a perfect day.

Part 7 by foxmonkey

While his sisters were discovering how much they enjoyed each other's bodies, Hercules had entered Dite's temple and was trying to make his way into the inner sanctum.

He ducked his head low to enter the building, and looked around the plushly decorated interior.  The priestesses smiled and gave him sly, appraising looks. He blushed and held up a hand to wave.

"Hi.  I'm just looking for my sister."

"I'll be your sister," a silky voice purred close behind, and his ass was grabbed.

He arched out of the grasp, delivering his crotch to the seeking fingers of yet another priestess.  They had more hands than he did, and he was losing the battle. "Aphrodite!" he screamed, and stumbled through the first gauze-draped doorway he saw.

And blinked.  And two heartbeats from passing out, remembered to breathe.  "Uh...."  A gaggle of giggling priestesses piled into him from behind.

Giving the back of Discord's knee a kiss, Aphrodite waved a hand.  "Enough ladies; that gorgeous hunka meat's my brother.  Quit feeling him up and get back to work."

Hercules kept a wary eye on the nubile bodies until they were safely out of sight.  "Finding you two in bed is...hmmm.  'Surprising' is the most polite word I can think of at the moment," he said.

The flash of pale limbs contrasted against Dite's creamy skin.  "I'm *so* out of here," Discord said, clothing herself with a snap of her black-nailed fingers.  "How about you, me and Heph tomorrow night?" she tossed in Dite's direction while adjusting her bustier.

If the high-pitched squeal of pleasure wasn't a clue, Dite pulled Discord close for one long, last kiss.

Hercules squirmed, then cleared his throat.  Discord turned to him and bared her startling white teeth in a snarl, and flashed out.  "I need help," Hercules said without preamble.

"No kidding, bro'...all that pawing and you don't have a boner?" Aphrodite eyed his groin.  She reached out a hand to inspect him.  "Are you feeling OK?"

He tried to dodge her hot grasp, but she was too quick for him.

"My, my, there's nothing 'demi' about you," she whispered throatily.

While he had no qualms about fucking Iphicles, he felt stirrings of morality whenever he imagined sinking himself into Aphrodite's welcoming folds. He'd fantasized about fucking her, about sliding his cock between those two luscious mounds on her chest.  Hercules stood as though helpless while his sister palmed his crotch. "I need your help," he croaked, though not moving away.

Perhaps sensing his willingness after years of reluctance, Aphrodite quickly unlaced Hercules' pants and carefully exposed his cock, fully erect now, and slick with dew.  "Herc," she whispered, smiling. "Tell you what," she said, wrapping her slender hand around his thickness, "You fuck me and I'll help you.  It's only fair; I've been doing favors for you for years.  Time for a little payback, big boy."

Hercules didn't resist when Aphrodite sank to her knees - after materializing a scarlet satin pillow for her delicate limbs - and took his cock in her mouth.  His protests were feeble, and for the most part clearly a matter of form, especially when coupled with the fact that he entwined his fingers in her curls to gently guide her head.  He was aching when she pulled away and stood to arrange herself at the edge of her bed.  Growling, he stood between her knees and, grasping her hips, pushed into her wetness.  He moaned softly as she closed around him.  She was incredible; he wondered why had he fought against this  for so long. He was breathless and sweating within minutes and he pumped into her, murmuring to himself.  He finally stiffened, groaning as his come poured into her.  He lay nearly stunned, and tried to collect himself.

"Mmmm, Herc," Aphrodite sighed happily.  "That was worth the wait."  She watched him predatorily as he tucked himself away and laced up.

"Aphrodite, that was...I don't even have words for it. But let's not do it again.  I don't think I could take it."

A flurry of pink petals accompanied the honeyed giggle.  "You're so cute when you're repressed.  Now what were you babbling about when you came in?  Something boring about needing my help?"

The golden perfection of her breasts was threatening to become a severe distraction, but Hercules averted his eyes just a bit, focusing on a slight gold fleck in the pink fabric of the bed linens.  "I don't know if you've noticed, but only a few of your toys have been found."

His sister nodded.

"Well, we're running out of time."

"Silly, everyone's hooking up and working together, and I gotta tell ya, it's enough to make a love goddess cry with happiness.  Where's the tragedy, buff-boy?"

Had she lost her mind?  "Didn't you tell us...."  He shook his head.  "Look.  I think everyone's forgetting the focus of the mission.  They're all running around fucking - me included!"  He risked a quick peek at a perky nipple.  "We'll never find everything in time."

"You're *so* judgmental!"  Dite exclaimed.  "They're having fun!  What are you doing?  Moping around because the search hasn't been systematic and logical?"  She leaned into his face.  "Get over it!" The mighty bosom heaved with an overly-dramatic in-drawn breath and equally melodramatic exhalation.

"But -" Hercules' eye was drawn to a dancing silver mote.  Delicate and ephemeral, the tiny butterfly rose on the warmth of a sunbeam and the quiver of jewel-toned wings.  "That's beautiful," he whispered, afraid the barest breath would disturb the little butterfly.  Of all the amazing creatures he'd seen and fought, this one left him speechless.

"They power my vibrator.  The real one." Before Hercules could answer, Dite pressed on.  "My toys were never missing, bro'.  The real ones are here under lock and key.  I threw a few decoys out there and assembled myself a sex-toy posse."


"You're a hero, I'm a love goddess.  It's what I do.  Do you know how painful it is to watch a mismatched pair stay together when it's time to say adios?  I hate that!  It's even worse when a couple of studs can't get it through their thick skulls that they're made for each other.  No matter how many hearts I scatter, or arrows Cupid shoots, the fools won't see it my way.  So I decided to play dirty.  All's fair in love and war."  She flashed her dimples.

" Dite - "

"Don't interrupt."  Materializing her usual sheer pink outfit, Aphrodite settled back against the cushions at the head of the bed.  "Here's the rundown, sweets.  Poor Joxie was wasting his life mooning over that sapphic windbag what's-her-name.  Grizella?  Wait.  Gabrielle, that's it.  But as we all know, Gaggy and Xena share a bedroll and body lice.  Jox needed a little shaking up and who better for that job than Callisto and Discord?  I had them rock his world and hopefully shake a little sense into the space between those ears.  It's time for him to give it up and move on."

He tried to speak but she laid a finger on his lips.

"It's really impolite to interrupt.  Where was I?  Iph and Auto are just too cute together, and there's kind of a perverse irony in throwing a thief together with a guy worth a king's ransom, dontcha think?"  Again she flashed her dimples and tiny perfect teeth.  "Xena and Gabs are completely *perfect* for each other; they're so friggin' boring I wouldn't inflict them on anyone else."  She snorted.  "I put Jase and Draco together because I don't like the idea of Xena ordering Cupid around."  Her eyes narrowed.  "I mean, really!  She tells him to leave the love spell on the warlord and Cupie *obeys* her?  Excuse me?  I don't think so."

Watching the devious side of love was a little frightening, to say the least.  Hercules was glad he'd never angered his sister.  She'd left a few questions unanswered, and from the look on her face, she wanted to hear him ask.  He cleared his throat.  "What happened to Iolaus?  And," he tried to sound casual, "Ares?"  Aphrodite gave him a gleeful grin.

"You'd never believe how much Iolaus has in common with Salmoneus."  When his jaw dropped she cackled. "They're the horniest mortals in Greece, Herc, what'd you expect? And you know he's not your true love." She searched his face.

"I know.  So," he twisted a bit of the blanket around his finger, "where's my - my true love." The words threatened to stick in his throat.

Aphrodite smiled and raised her hands.  "Here."  She shimmered and disappeared in a flurry of pink hearts.

Suddenly the air was alive with the flutter of tiny wings, and butterflies, millions of them, hovered around him, around the bed.  They were everywhere, and Hercules closed his eyes to their caress.  Soft as new petals barely unfurled, they tickled his eyelids and face, stroked his neck.  His skin was alive with the hum of wings.

Softer than these though, was the butterfly kiss of eyelashes against his cheek.  Even softer, the brush of lips against his, the tip of a tongue seeking entrance.  Eyes still closed, Hercules smelled leather and the incense of temples, and as his love pressed him to the bed, cool metal studs pressed into his flesh.  His thighs opened.

Thick and short, he knew without looking that the hair beneath his fingers was dark.  A mustache and goatee framed the lush mouth that nibbled his throat.

It was he most improbable love he could imagine, and like a new petal, his heart unfurled to embrace it.


Part 8 by Huntress
The Conclusion

Hercules gasped, feeling the skilled fingers caressing his thighs, the lips  driving him to madness. He bucked and writhed, never having known a feeling  such as this before. Yes, Iphicles had been wonderful. Yes, Joxer gave great  head. And yes, he had a brief taste of the insane Fire Goddess when they were  looking for the apples of the Hesperides. But this....

Nails scratching up his inner thighs, and a loud moan came from deep within  his throat. This was beyond anything he could have ever imagined. And,  contrary to popular belief, the demigod had quite an imagination. He finally  let himself fall into the passion, any other thoughts leaving his mind.

The fingers moved further upward, the mouth further down, the warm tongue  laving his nipples, suckling, nipping. Hercules knew who it was, he didn't  have to open his eyes...all he had to do was open his heart, and feel.  "Ares." He moaned the name, and the lips moved further down, the fingers  caressing his balls, the mouth finally close enough that Herc felt hot breath  on his cockhead. "Suck me...please...."

"You have a filthy mouth, little brother. A spanking could be in order later  on." He watched Herc's cock twitch. "Oh my, you'd like that wouldn't you. As  I said...later...." Ares licked the length and the demigod moaned in ecstasy.  "I can see I'm going to have to shut you up." He turned, positioning his cock  above Herc's mouth. Hercules reached up, holding Ares by the hips, easing his  cock down, slowly taking it in. He resisted Ares' efforts to deepthroat him,  wanting to keep control of the situation for as long as he could. Neither man  was able to do that for very long....

Ares' mouth covered Herc's cock, and the demigod opened his, taking Ares down  his throat, his tongue playing along the length. Ares slid out, but Hercules  pulled his cock back, grabbing his ass, holding his cock deep, sucking hard,  knowing what this must be doing to the War God.

Wrapping his hands around Herc's legs, Ares spread Herc's ass, while he  sucked deeper, slowly easing a finger inside. Hercules pushed down on the  finger, both men at the edge, both intent in making the other cum first.

It was a draw...the sons of Zeus climaxed together, feeding off one another,  like starving animals.

They separated, quite reluctantly, and lay together for a while, Hercules  holding Ares in his arms.

It wasn't long before the War God let his mouth wander down his brother's  body again...this time the sensation was so good that Herc screamed....


In the meantime....

Iolaus got himself untangled, getting dressed, and glared at Salmoneus, who  was leering at him. He glanced around, the hairs on the back of his neck  standing on end, and spotted *him* standing in the corner, a big grin on his  face. "This was your revenge for that couple in Thermopylae, wasn't it? I  didn't know you had gone to lots of trouble to bring them together."

Cupid giggled. "Ya know Blondie, I could have set you up with Jace. That  would have done wonders for your rep."

"I thought it was kinda strange I got off on Sal." Salmoneus looked at  Iolaus, rather hurt. "Aww, Sal, it's not that I don't like you, but you're  not my type. Look I...." He paused, whispering something to Cupid, and the  God nodded.

Salmoneus found himself, a moment later, with Joxer and Callisto.

Callisto grinned at him, madness in her eyes, her nipples hard as pebbles.  "Ooooh...now I get to find out why Aphrodite calls you a *Studmuffin*."

Salmoneus stood, frozen on the spot, while the Fire Goddess and the (new and  improved) Mighty Joxer advanced on him.

"Can you make it so he *can't* tell anybody?" Iolaus asked. "Sal's a nice guy  and all, but he has a big mouth. And where's Herc? Aphrodite or not, I want  out of this nuthouse. I'd rather face a hydra at this point."

Cupid shook his head. "I wouldn't worry about it Iolaus. Salmoneus knows  you'll kill him if he says anything. And Mom got it into her head that Ares  is Herc's true love. I mean, I had to agree. He's been mooning over Uncle  Herc for years. But we had to get you out of the way to get them together."

"I don't understand," Iolaus said. "Why did you have to get me out of the  way? If they're meant to be together, who am I to stand in the way of the  Fates."

"The more I thought about it, the more I realized that although *they* are  meant to be together, so are you and Uncle Herc."

"Now I'm even more confused. And where are they?"

"Beats me," Cupid shrugged. "Anyway I got to get going. Later, Iolaus."

Iolaus wandered the halls, looking for Hercules. "Damn, Sal and I...shit. If  anyone finds out...." His ears picked up the sounds of moaning in a room, and  he recognized the voice. There was no doubt who it belonged to.

"MORE!! I NEED MORE!" Hercules' shouts threatened to knock the building to  its very foundations.

Iolaus' eyes widened. He peeked inside the room, and saw Hercules thrashing  on the bed, while a man was between his legs, sucking his cock deep. Iolaus  had never approached Hercules sexually, because, as far as he knew, his  partner liked women...*only* women. *This* was a pleasant surprise. What was  shocking was when he caught sight of the face of the man sucking Herc's  impressive length.


Hercules jumped, throwing Ares on the floor, and the God stood, glaring at  Iolaus. "You know, all I wanted was him. All I've *ever* wanted, is *him*.  And *you*, you come along and ruin it. I oughtta...." Before he got a chance  to finish his threat, Hercules was already stripping Iolaus, while Iolaus  stood quietly, giving himself over to the demigod.

"Shut up, would you Ares?" Hercules turned to his brother. "I've loved you  for a long time too, but I know I also loved Iolaus. I just never knew I  loved him *this* way. Not until *now*." He turned back to the blond, who now  stood naked, his cock standing at attention. "Oh yeah...I have definitely  wanted *this*...." He knelt, smiling up at Iolaus, before grabbing his ass,  and pulling the thick cock to his mouth. "Does it taste as good as it looks?"  Hercules didn't wait for an answer, deepthroating Iolaus in one move, feeling  Iolaus sway in his arms. He felt the small hands gripping his shoulders,  heard Iolaus' moans, the deep breaths. As Iolaus' legs went out from under  him, and he fell to the floor, Hercules fell with him, not releasing his hold  on that magnificent cock.

Ares watched, his cock throbbing, wondering, from all the brief fantasies  going through his mind, which one he should go for. He finally decided what  he wanted to do. He lay down on his back, sliding under Hercules, and lifted  the demigod, so the cock was poised above his mouth.

Herc moaned, easing his cock down Ares throat, while Iolaus' cock received  the finest blow job it had ever gotten. Hercules lifted his head, leering at  Iolaus, licking his lips. "You are so beautiful. Why did it take me so long  to figure it out?" His mouth returned, and Iolaus writhed beneath him,  pushing his cock deeper, his hand winding in Herc's hair, pulling his mouth  harder.

Ares' hands were kneading Hercules' ass, and two fingers thrust in, while his  mouth began to feed, sucking Hercules deeper. It didn't take too long for  three orgasms to happen simultaneously....

One last hard suck by Hercules, and Iolaus shot his load down Herc's throat,  fucking his mouth, as Hercules drank him.

Ares thrust his fingers deeper, and Hercules screamed, his seed spilling in  Ares mouth, the War God continuing to suck, wanting it all.

The vision of Hercules sucking Iolaus, while he sucked Herc, caused Ares' own  cock to twitch, and his own seed covered his body.

They lay there for a while, none of them able to move, none of them ever  having felt such sweet release.

Hercules finally shifted, rolling onto his back, his eyes moving from one man  to the other. He stroked his own cock, which was hard again. "How about  another round? I got some other positions in mind."

Ares sat up, facing him, getting a look at the demigod's full erection. "You  know, for a *demi* God, you have pretty quick recovery." Ares' own cock was  growing harder, and he turned to Iolaus, who was laying there, eyes closed,  fondling *his* cock. "And for a mortal...."

"He is so much more then that," Herc said matter-of-factly. He crawled to his  brother, kneeling before Ares. Sliding his hands up Ares' chest, and over his  shoulders, Hercules brought their lips close. "Don't *ever* refer to Iolaus  as 'mortal' again." Herc kissed him, driving his tongue deep, and Ares  responded, his tongue entwining with Hercules', the two tasting the mix of  Herc's seed and Iolaus'. Hercules broke the kiss, and turned to Iolaus.  "Aphrodite had me thinking you weren't my true love, but you are." He heard  Ares' deep breath, and turned back to his brother, kissing him softly. "You  are also. I didn't know it was possible to have *two* true loves, but, based  on what I'm feeling, I have to say it is." He caught the look that passed  between the other two. "I don't mind sharing." Hercules pulled Iolaus to him,  flipping him on his stomach. He grabbed Iolaus by the hips, pulling him to  his hands and knees, teasing Iolaus' tightness with two fingers. Iolaus  arched his back, and Hercules pushed inside, Iolaus' moans Ambrosia to his  ears. He slid the fingers in and out, deeper each time, probing, searching....


....and he knew he'd found Iolaus' pleasure spot.

A few minutes of hitting that spot, and the fingers were gone, leaving Iolaus  whimpering, but not for long. Herc's cock pressed against the tightness,  slowly entering, Iolaus trying to push back, but held still by two powerful  hands. He filled Iolaus, undulating against him, hitting that sweet spot with  each movement.

Ares knelt behind Hercules, his hands mimicking the motions of the demigod.  He held Herc by the hips, holding him still, as his cock entered, little by  little, resisting every effort by Hercules to pull him deeper.

The demigod withdrew a bit from Iolaus, and Ares entered Hercules, pushing  him into Iolaus, and Iolaus lost all semblance of everything at that moment.

Turning his head, Iolaus saw what was going on, and his cock jumped. "Oh  Gods...."

"You got that right," Ares growled, as he filled Hercules, driving Herc deep  into Iolaus.

They were moving as one body, in and out, pleasuring each other, everything  else unknown to them...the world could have ended at that very moment, but  none of the three could have cared less.

Hercules had never felt anything like this...he had always been in charge in  the bedroom, with *any* lover he had had, but this...pounding into Iolaus,  taking possession of him...Iolaus belonged to him now, and nothing would  change that...*ever*. Ares taking him, the cock grinding inside him, making  him moan...this was the ultimate sexual experience, and he was savoring each  and every moment.

Ares had never felt anything like this...taking his younger brother, loving  him, it was all his fantasies rolled into one. His movements harder, his lips  kissing a path down Herc's back, he didn't know if he would last much longer.  His cock sliding in and out of Herc's beautiful ass...this was the ultimate  sexual experience, and he was savoring each and every moment.

Iolaus had never felt anything like this...Herc's cock filling him, so big  and thick, the hand leaving featherlight touches on his cock, the other hand  holding him still. He had been submissive to others, but this...Herc's hand  gripping his cock hard, stroking fast, Iolaus screaming from the  ecstasy...this was the ultimate sexual experience, and he was savoring each  and every moment.

An explosion of immense proportions....

Ares spilling into Hercules, Hercules' seed filling Iolaus, and Iolaus  shooting his load over Herc's hand...it was too much for the three, and they  collapsed, none moving for quite some time, staying joined, all feeling warm,  satiated...loved.

Hercules finally turned, smiling at his brother. "You think you could move us  to the bed?" His voice was whispered. "Iolaus fell asleep."

Ares couldn't help the giggle. "He fell *asleep*? From what I heard about his  reputation, he should be able to go all night and then some."

"Well, maybe he never had divine loving before," Hercules said, smiling at  him. "So, you going to move us, or not?" A moment later they were in the bed,  Iolaus on one side of the demigod, cuddled in his arms, Ares on the other,  nuzzling Herc's neck. "Do you really love me Ares? Or is this a temporary  thing? Does this mean we're not going to fight anymore?"

"I thought you got off on the fighting?" Ares asked.

Hercules leered at him. "I do...that's why I'm asking."

Ares grinned at him. "Well then, next time you have a strong disagreement  with me, we'll fight. Now, how about when Blondie wakes up, he finds himself  tied to the bed? We can make him beg."

Hercules grinned back. "Sounds good to me."

"Good. I'll take care of it later." He returned to nuzzling Herc's neck.

Neither man saw the grin that came across Iolaus' face.

Sometime later, Iolaus got up to relieve himself, entering the bathroom.  Turning to the wash basin when he was through, he noticed them on the floor.  He picked them up, and went back to bed, looking at the two men sleeping  there.

'Well Ares,' he thought, with a mad grin, 'Think of this as payback from me and Autolycus.' He snapped one manacle on Ares wrist. 'And Herc, this is for  all the years you hid your feelings.' The other manacle was snapped on  Hercules' wrist.  'One less item to find on that stupid list.' He crawled  back into bed, and went to sleep, fighting the urge to giggle.

Hercules and Ares were in for one hell of a surprise when they woke up.


Aphrodite was fuming. "HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!"

Cupid ducked as the vase came sailing at his head. "He thought a *real*  scavenger hunt would be fun."

She looked down at her trunk, all the toys she had gone. A knock at the door  and a small voice said quietly, "Are you mad at me Grandma?" Bliss' little  head peeked inside.

She stormed over to the door, intent on giving him a stern lecture, and knelt down, glaring at him. The hurt face looked at her and she said, "No sweet  pea, I'm not mad at you. You're still Aphrodite's favorite boy." She stood,  facing her son. "But you...."

"Relax Mom," Cupid soothed. "Look, between us, I'm sure we can recover the  items. How about this...let everybody keep what they have for now, and  I'll...I'll shoot them all. Let them mix and mingle."

"You gonna shoot Unca Herc?" Bliss asked. "That's not nice. I love Uncle  Herc."

"Okay Bliss, I'll shoot everybody *but* Uncle Herc. He can watch." Bliss nodded, and Cupid faced his mother. "Well...is that okay with you?"

Aphrodite nodded, and Cupid vanished. The Goddess began to giggle. "This should be good. Maybe Iolaus and Callisto...Joxer and Xena...." Aphrodite suddenly paused, then broke into a laughing fit. "Ares and Salmoneus...."

The End

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