Dial S for Stupid
Ares' breath caught in his throat as he watched the sleeping Joxer. Never before had a mortal affected him like this! That hair! Those lips! Those bug eyes!
Ares crept closer. Oh, how his heart ached! Could it be? Could Ares, War God, be in love??? Could someone finally have broken through his years of loneliness stemming from his incredibly abusive childhood to reach the heart that cried out not for war, but for love?
Ares knelt by the sleeping figure and reached out...and hesitated. Dare he?
Yes, he dare.
Ares let one finger caress the silken cheek, moving to the lips with a butterfly's touch. How warm mortal breath was!
Slowly, Ares withdrew his hand and stood. How could such a beautiful soul as Joxer ever love such as he? Never, that's how.
Ares turned with a broken sigh. Better to go. Better that Joxer never know of this tormented soul's twisted love that could never be.
Ares whirled, hand to his fluttering heart. Was it-! Could it be-! Had he-! Would Joxer-! How could-!
"Ares, oh, Ares. I've wanted you for so long now I hardly know how long!" Joxer cried, throwing himself at the astounded god.
Ares clutched the would-be warrior to his breast. "Joxer! My precious pookiewings! Say, oh say, you'll stay with me forever! This wounded heart would break like a piece of peanut brittle if you ever left!"
Joxer placed small, passionate kisses on the godly lips. "Silly boy!" he chided. "I'll never leave you because I know you're not really violent-you're simply misunderstood and need someone to guide you into another lifestyle choice."
Tears flowed from Ares chocolate brown eyes and cascaded down his cheeks unchecked. "Joxer, my little sugar dumpling mippybutt! You're the only one who
really understands me! After all these centuries! I shall never wage another war! From this day forward, I shall be Ares, God of Morality and Political Correctness!"
Joxer patted the ex-War God's back. "I know, I know. You just needed someone to show you how misguided you are. There, there. Let it out."
Ares wiped his liquid eyes and gazed into Joxer's eyes. "I-I see forever!" he gasped, clutching his heart, which was beating like a rabbit on crack.
Joxer wiped Ares streaming cheeks. "Forever," he whispered.