Random Thoughts of a
War God
 By Oshun Anat
He wonders why I hate him

He wonders why I do the things I do.

Has he ever stopped to consider his role in all this?

Has it ever occurred to Zeus that he helped make me the God I am?

Has he ever thought that I use violence as an outlet for anger that I couldn't otherwise express?

Perhaps if you didn't beat me when I was younger I could have found a voice for my anger.

But you did. And I never did find that voice.

Zeus, you only have yourself to blame.

But what about me?

Can I change?

I doubt it. Violence and War has been a part of my nature far too long for it not to be inside me.

Yet perhaps there is hope for me yet.

I've never known anyone like you before.

With your ability to be enduring and annoying at the same time.

You shouldn't be a Warrior. You're too good, too kind for this.

But we can not change the destiny that the Fates have laid out, even if you believe you can.

I can not say when my hatred of you began to soften.

Nor do I know when the feelings became Love.

Love. Who ever thought that the God of War could feel such a "soft" or "weak" emotion.

Not I. And certainly not Aphrodite.

She may like to rub it in my face, that I have fallen in love.

But I no longer care what she, or Cupid or any other God thinks.

I like this new feeling.

After years of ennui caused by the same endless, empty cycle of plotting, fighting, fucking, I have finally found something worth living for.

I will never stop being the God of War, but I know something inside of me has changed. Changed forever.

What are the changes inside me, and what do they mean?

I do not know. Only Time will tell.

All I know is that I can not live without you.

I don't know what I would do without you.

And I hope I never have to find out.

I love you Hercules.

Now. And forever.