"Hand me that sponge, would you Iolaus?"

Tossing it to his friend, Iolaus looked at the much suffering goat in front of them. "Tell me Herc, just why are we bothering to wash this thing? It'll just get dirty again as soon as we let it go and Iphicles couldn't care less. He'll take one look at it and have it put in the pasture with the rest of the herd."

Paying more attention to the goat then to his friend, he replied, "Like I told you when we first started washing this thing! This isn't an ordinary goat. It's Ares. And we want Ares goat to look all nice and pretty for Iphicles."

"It's Ares?! You didn't tell me that this was Ares!"  Although, now that Iolaus had stopped to think about it, that suffering yet "I'm so going to kick your ass" look on the beast's face did look oddly familiar.

"I didn't? Must have slipped my mind."

Iolaus began to revise his opinion of his friend's intelligence. "Slipped your mind? How could something like that slip your mind?"

"Because I didn't want you to fuck him in retribution for the whole Chicken Discord fiasco."

Offended by the very notion, Iolaus began to vehemently deny that he'd ever have such thoughts. "Herc! I do *not* fuck goats, I've never fucked one, and I never will."

"Meh! Meeeehhhh!"

"I agree with you Ares, he does protest too much."

"Herc! You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Lighten up, Iolaus! I know you don't fuck animals, although there was that one time with the hamster..."

Iolaus could have sworn that he just heard the goat—er Ares, snicker, but decided to direct his attention back to where it belonged—Hercules. "How did you find out about that?"

"Iphicles. You have no idea how talkative he is when you give him enough good wine."

"Oh, but I bet he didn't tell you about the time he fucked a dead hen."

Hercules had heard many tales of his brother's odd sexual activities, but decided that that one was too odd, even for him. "Don't go there Iolaus, I don't even want to know."

Just as Iolaus was about to start an argument over how it wasn't fair that Herc didn't want to know that Iphicles was into necrophilic bestiality, but actively searched for stories of *his* odd sex behaviors, the goat formerly known as Ares, quickly brought that to a halt with a hard bite on Iolaus' ass.

"OW! Fuck Ares! Did you have to do that?"

The goat just gave him a blank look.

Sighing and wondering if coming back from the Light was really such a grand idea, Iolaus decided to change the topic.

"So Herc, just how did Ares become a goat and why do we care if Ares is 'pretty' or not for Iphicles?"

Patting Ares on the head, Herc tied him to the post with a sturdy piece of Hephaestus' special chain before sitting down on a conveniently placed fallen log. "Let's see. It was about two days ago, on Olympus..."

* * * "Arry, could you do me just a *teensy* favor?"

Ares groaned. A favor was never "teensy" when Aphrodite was wearing *that* outfit. That outfit being nothing except a sheer piece of lace around her waist.

"What kind of "teensy" favor, sis?"

"Oh...I just need you to do me a slight favor andcalloffwarsforthenexttwomonthsyoursoldiersneedtobehomeandbewiththeirwives ...."

After wondering just how she managed to say all that without pausing to breathe—then smiling as he remembered the out of this world blow jobs that she gave—and then her words sank in.

"Two months?! Are you insane?"

"Arry! The women miss their men! So many broken hearts praying to me to see their Loves again. You can help them out, can't you?"

"Two mounds? Are you insane?"

"Ares! Get your mind off my chest!"

"Two months? Are you insane?! I mean, if you don't want me to look, then put on some clothes! And I'm not fixated on your breasts!"

"Oh sure, blame this on me!" But Aphrodite did cover up. "Now, Ares, will you help me?"

"Do I have to repeat myself again? I'm *not* going to stop all wars for two months so my soldiers can go spend times with their wives! Do you know what would happen? They'd get out of condition and the next battle would be—awful. Just horrible. I don't even want to think about it, let alone subject the world to that."

"Shove it Ares, the world will live with out your groady Wars! We're talking about Love here! These women desperately miss their husbands! If they don't get any real Love soon then...the world will be even worse off then it will be if we had all those 'awful, just horrible' battles of yours!"

"So you mean, they need sex? I mean, if that's all that "real Love" is, I'll pay to hire some whores to lay them."

It only took a nanosecond for Aphrodite to lose it. "Hire whores to lay them?! How dare you degrade all that is Love with such a callous comment! I'm going to do to you what I should have done a long time ago!"

"What's that, wear nothing?"

Without saying another word, a shower of pink hearts fell onto the War God. And in his place was a goat.

A shiny black goat with a goatee and a silver earring hanging from his left ear.

"Very nice little bro. You look exactly like the immature kid you are!"


"No, I'm not going to change you back, and you can't change yourself back until you get your true love to fuck you like that."


"Yes, Iphicles has to fuck you! I mean, what's the big deal, all of Olympus knows about his thing for dead chickens—Tartarus, he even does live ones. I heard that he even did that skank Discord once."


"You didn't know? Man, you really need to spend more time up here! News of Iphicles' infatuation is like so three months ago."


"Okay, so get Iphy to fuck you, and then you can come up and kick Apollo's ass."


"This is getting so old Ares. I'm not telling you anything else about the gossip ring. You'll just have to figure out the rest of us on your own. Now, I've got an orgy to get to...let's see, where can I put you...Ah! Herc's on his way to Corinth, I'll just drop you off with him!"

Ignoring Ares' skittish attempts to back away from her, she grabbed the goat and flashed down to where her brother was waiting for Iolaus.

* * * "And so then Aphrodite shows up, gives me the instructions on how to remove the spell, and you arrived ten minutes later. But while I was waiting, Ares tried to head butt me, so I tossed him to the ground, which is how he got all dusty. If we are going to get Iphicles to fuck him, he's got to be presentable."

"Interesting. You'd think that Ares would have learned not to antagonize your sister by now."

"You would, wouldn't you? But you see, that would bring about peace on Olympus, and then everyone would get bored because they had no fights to get back to after a day here on Earth."

"Really? I never knew that."

"Neither did I. I figured it out the last time I went up there. It was about the only productive thing that happened that day."


"Oh, okay! Stop your whining!"


"Yes, you do whine. You whine to Zeus all the time." Hercules didn't think that a goat could actually sound insulted, but Ares managed to pull it off. He was quite impressed. "Okay Ares, we'll get you something to eat! Iolaus, go over to that barrel and grab some oats, would you?"

"Sure Herc."  As he went to get the food, he asked, " So what's the plan? We go into the throne room and say, 'Hey Iphicles, this goat isn't really a goat, it's Ares and he's your true love, but get this! The only way to bring him back is to fuck him!"

"There is that option."

"Give me a break, we both know what would happen."

"Yeah, I really don't want to end up in his 'playroom' again. Last time I was in there, he threatened to use the crop instead of the paddle the next time I told him a wild tale."

"Um, Herc? How long have you and Iphicles been 'playing' [and] how did you end up on the bottom? I was just talking about that look that says 'Why me?'"

"Err.. Um..eh..."

"Ha! Serves you right for questioning me about the hamster!"

"Meh eh eh eh eh!"

"Is he laughing at me, Iolaus?"

"I think so."

"This is a new low for me."

"No, I think that being turned into a pig is still the lowest of the things that have happened to you."

"Really? You sure?"


"What is it Ares? We're in the middle of an important discussion here! My brother. Always interrupting at the worse times."


"You didn't know I was sleeping with Iphicles? I thought everyone on Olympus knew. I mean, after Iphicles slept with Discord it was common knowledge in five minutes. For some reason, my brother is the target of many of the so called 'Hercules watchers.'"


"You are behind on the times."

"Um. Herc. As much as I love to tease Ares, we really should get going if we want to reach Corinth any time soon."

"You're right. Are you done eating, Ares?"


"Good." As he unchained Ares, Iolaus threw a lead line over Ares' neck and then grabbed the goat's face.

"Listen, Ares. If you don't give us any trouble, we'll get to Corinth all that much faster and you can get back to your normal ornery human self." A sharp nod was all that Iolaus got in response.

"All right, let's get going! I can't wait to see Iphicles again."

* * * Two days later the odd trio finally made it to the gates of the palace. Ares was dirty again, but by this point, he didn't care. He just wanted to get Iphicles to fuck him and be done with it.

"Hey, Pontus! It's me, Hercules! Could you do me a favor and get my brother out here? I don't think he'd appreciate me bringing the goat into the palace."

Pontus looked at him strangely, not that Hercules had noticed; the trio had been getting strange looks ever since they had gotten into city limits. "Why would I do that? Can't you just tie up that thing out here and go inside?"

"We'd like to, but this isn't just your average goat."

"It isn't? He looks pretty normal to me, well, except for the earring."

"He isn't normal. You see, this goat is my brother Ares."

"Ares? The God of War? A goat?" Suddenly the guard collapsed in a fit of laughter. "Oh, oh that's a good one Herc!"

Ares was about to literally walk all over the guard but Hercules stopped him. "Not a chance Ares, once you're back to normal, if you want to kick his ass that's fine, but you are not doing it while you're in my care!"

"Meh. Meh!"

"Whatever, Ares. Iolaus, go tie up Ares and keep an eye on him, I'll go talk to him myself."

"Sure thing Herc. Oh, and you'd better bring some water on your way back out. Pontus isn't looking to well." Iolaus nodded at the guard who was desperately trying to get his breath back.

"Send one of the other guards. Somehow I think Iphicles will be too busy yelling at me to let me stop for water." With that, he headed into the palace.

* * * "Ares is a goat?!"

"Yes, brother. I swear he is. If you'll just come into the courtyard with me, I'll prove it!"

Iphicles sighed. "What did I tell you the last time you told a wild tale?"

"That'd you'd use the crop on me. I know you said that Iphicles but I'm not lying! And it's important that you believe me!"

"Why is it so important?"

"Um, well..."

"Spit it out, Hercules. No matter whether you are telling the truth or lying you are going to get a taste of my crop. My week didn't need this, not with Caesar and his delegation due to arrive any day now."

"But Iphicles! I not lying!"

"Spill it Herc, or I'll double it!"

"Okay, okay. You see, Iphicles, in order for Aphrodite's spell to be broken, you have to fuck Ares, as he is."


All the courtiers in the area startled and turned to stare at their king.

Iphicles groaned and gave his brother his patented "Why me?" look. "That's it. I'm doubling your punishment."

"Iphicles! You can't do that!"

"I can and I will! Now tell me why I have to fuck it?"

"Because according to Aphrodite, the spell can only be broken if Ares' true love fucks him."

"Are you sure that I'm it?"

"Pretty sure. Aphrodite left Ares in my care knowing that I was coming here, so I'm assuming that you're it."

"That makes sense. I swear, little brother, if you're wrong about this..."

"You don't need to finish that threat."

"Good. Now go get the goat and meet me downstairs. I'll talk to my advisors and get Iolaus a room."

* * * "Downstairs" was, in fact, the playroom that Hercules had mentioned to Iolaus earlier. The only one who knew of it's existence was, in fact, Jason, who had used the place to play with Alcemene before they had gotten married. When Iphicles had gotten the throne, he turned the place into his own mini-dungeon. All of his lovers—Hercules, Ares, and even Caesar on occasion made use of it and all enjoyed it. Well, except for Hercules who was usually on the receiving end of a beating from his older brother.

Iphicles stopped to stare at his beautifully strung up brother. "So very nice, such a great, unmarked ass. It's going to look even better when I’m done!"

"Can't you fuck Ares first, Sir? I really don't want to have him watch this."


"I didn't give you permission to speak, and yes, he's going to watch. I'm sure that given the chance, he would have tried to kill himself by now, so this will be fine retribution. Won't it, Ares?"

"Meh, meh."

"See, he agrees. Now, I promised you double, so double you're going to get. Now, tell me, how many is that, Hercules?"

"Forty, Sir."

"Very good. Count them as I go."


"One, Sir."


"Two, Sir..."

* * * "Forty, Sir. Please let me come sir!"

Sure enough, despite all of his whining and protests, Hercules was sweating, hard and desperate to come. Iphicles wasn't in much better shape.

"Nope. Not yet. The final part of your punishment is this: I'm going to get Ares back to his Godly self. Then he's going to fuck you until you come, which from the looks of things, won't take long."

Hercules just moaned pitifully, but said nothing. He knew how well Ares fucked, and since he had no choice, he decided to stay quiet, or as quiet as he could be. Meanwhile, Iphicles turned and faced Ares, who, judging by the exposed cock, was quite horny himself.

"Hold still Ares..."

With that Iphicles closed his eyes and thrust his cock into the goat.

Warm. Tight. And whole lot better then Discord, in either form, Iphicles decided. Taking his time to make the experience last longer, not to mention torment Hercules even more, he savored the moment, enjoying the sensation of Ares thrusting back in a perfect rhythm. It didn't last long though, and soon Iphicles was shooting his cum into the Ares.

And Ares was still a goat.

Pulling out quickly, he turned and grabbed and equally stunned Hercules by his cock, and slowly asked, "What in Tartarus is going on here! You said that fucking Ares would bring him back!"

Before Hercules could squeak out in protest, Aphrodite suddenly appeared.

"Hey boys! Iphicles, Herc was right. Fucking Ares *will* bring him back, but you aren't his True Love."

"I'm not?"

"He isn't?" Herc squeaked.

"Meh?!" Ares whinnied.

"No! Of course he isn't! Iphicles, you're a great lay, Ares would never deny it, but he doesn't *love* you. And Ares, I know I told you it was Iphicles, but if I did that you'd never have stayed with Herc. You'd rather have spent the rest of your life as a goat then admit that you love Herc."

"He doesn't?! What about all those times he said..." In his disappointment, he released Hercules' cock, much to Hercules' happiness.

"He just can't admit to himself that he loves Hercules."

"Meh! Meh! Meh!"

"Ares, you 'do' love him, and you know it! Iphicles, let Herc down now, and I'll prove it. Or rather, Herc will."

Moving in a daze, Iphicles released Hercules. After gingerly getting the cramps out, he walked over to Ares.

"Do you two uh, have to watch?"

"You watched me, little brother, it's only fair."

"And everyone back home has been watching since you two got in here." Aphrodite added oh so helpfully.

"Thanks. Why are you watching us again?"

"Because you two are *hot*. Now get fucking!"


"Shut up, Ares, I can just leave you as goat forever!" Hercules threatened. It worked.

Hesitantly, Hercules walked up to Ares and braced himself before thrusting deep into the goat, who immediately started shifting back to his Godly form. Very happy to find Ares back to his normal self, Hercules shoved Ares against the wall and kept pounding into the War God.

"Fuck, Ares! I've been wanting to do this for so long!"

"Keep that mouth shut and fuck me, damn it!"

Hercules eagerly complied, grabbing and stroking his brother's cock as he pounded into his brother like there was no tomorrow.

" Gods, Ares, you are so tight. I'm going to cum!"  Thrusting into his brother one last time, Hercules came and came hard, taking Ares with him.

Catching their breath, the two brothers turned to find Iphicles happily fucking Aphrodite.

"What in the name of Tartarus?!"

"You. Two. So. Hot. Needed. Relief." Aphrodite panted.

After watching for a few seconds, Ares grabbed Hercules and whispered, "Come on little brother...let's leave these two to the audience. We'll go back to my place and I'm going to find out just *who* is in that little gossip ring of yours...."