Methos heard the phone ringing from outside his apartment. He had just returned from a very important beer run, and was struggling to open   the door...which finally opened. Carefully setting down the cases, he grabbed the phone.


 "Is this Mr. Adam Pierson?"

 "Yes it is. Who am I speaking to?"

 "I'm Sasha Burns. I work at Renaissance"

 "What can I do for you, Sasha?"

 "Do you remember the contest we recently held to win the part of a warlord on  Hercules...?"

 "Can't say that I do..."

Ignoring his remark, Sasha continued "Well, I just called to say that you won! Congratulations!"

 "What exactly is the prize?"

 "An all expenses paid one week trip in New Zealand to play a warlord on Hercules!! Here are the details..."

 Methos listened to her rattle on about all the details, and twenty minutes later hung up. "I could have sworn that I didn't enter that contest...must have been Richie..."

*  *  *
One month later...

 "I'm playing WHAT?!?!" Methos asked, trying to keep control of his temper.

 "The producers decided to go muck up Christian Mythology. You are playing one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse. Death to be precise," said Kevin Sorbo.

 *Oh great, I've always wanted to relive my Horsemen days.*

 "...You don't have a problem with this, do you?"

 Methos snapped out of his trance and said "No, of course not..."

* * * * * * * *
Ares was bored. Ever since the whole Monica Lewinsky thing had started up, business had been slower than usual. *Damned Americans with with damned trial.* To ease his boredom, he decided to go watch the taping of his half-brother's show. *Maybe they'll mess up some other mythology for once.*

* * * * * * * * *
A few hours later...

 The crew watched shocked as Kevin Sorbo went flying across the set and crash into a wall.

 "CUT!!!!" yelled Michael Hurst.

 "Mr. Pierson, you are *not* supposed to really throw Kevin," he stared pointedly at Methos.

 "Oh. Sorry...just got a little too wrapped up..."

 "Just be more careful next time. We'll take five to give Kevin a few minutes to recover..."

 No one noticed the movement in the shadows as the conversation had taken place...

* * * * * *
 Ares was amazed at the whole thing. Not only had someone actually try to hurt Hercules, but they were almost successful in doing it to! Even today's stuntmen couldn't do some of the moves that this person had...they were too old...come to think of it, the only person that he had ever seen do that was Methos.

* * * * * *
 Methos walked over to a chair to wait for the shooting to resume. He should have known that he should have objected to playing Death. It was a subject that still a sore spot with him and he should have known better.. *Damn I forgot how sweaty this mask was.* He lifted it up and collapsed in the chair. As he briefly closed his eyes, a flash of light momentarily blinded him.

 "Methos! It *is* you! I haven't seen you in a few thousand years!"

 "Wha? ARES?!"

 Ares grinned. "Who else were you expecting?"

 Kevin Sorbo had seen the whole thing and had ran over to the pair.

 "Hi guys. I'd hate to break up your party, but people are *really* beginning to wonder what is going on here..."

 "Go away brother, can't you see that we are having a reunion?" said Ares

 "Well, could you at least go into a trailer or something?"

 Ares decided that the sooner he got rid of his brother, the sooner he could talk with Methos.

 "Fine." He motioned for Methos to follow him to a near by trailer. As they approached it, Methos felt the familiar buzz that announced the presence of another Immortal.

 "Who else is here?" asked Methos as he drew his sword.

*At least this is sharp enough to kill someone to buy some time.*

 Ares shrugged. "I'm not sure. I don't pay attention to who is hanging around. Come on."

 Because Ares was there, Methos' sense of self-preservation dropped enough for him to walk into the trailor not knowing what to expect....

* * * * * * *
 Karl Urban was stretched out on the couch, wearing only his jeans.

 *Thank Gods I don't have to be on set 'til later.*

 He had just begun to doze off, tan skin sweating in the warm New Zealand summer, when he felt the Buzz.  "What the? There aren't any other Immortals here besides Kevin...and he doesn't count.." He grabbed his sword... and watched as the door opened...
* * * * * * *
 "JULIUS CAESAR?!?!" Methos gasped in shock.

 Caesar grabbed Methos and pulled him inside. Ares quickly followed and shut the door.

 "Could you be a little quieter next time?" Caesar asked.

 "Sorry, but finding you here was not on my list of things to do today," Methos replied.

 Ares looked at the two Immortals.

 "You know each other?"

 "Oh yes. Methos was still with his brothers and had been captured by my guards while he was doing some spying in my palace..."

* * * * * * * *

 "Bring the prisoner in here" commanded Caesar.

 Caesar could hear the swearing even before his guard had reached the doors of the audience chamber. The door opened and he found three men dragging the prisoner into the room...

 "Who are you that you would try to spy on my city?"

 Methos stared the emperor in the eye and said "I am Methos. Also known as Death."

 Caesar nodded for his guards too leave. Despite all that he had heard about this man, he wasn't scared.

 "I've heard stories about you. Quite impressive really. Four men bringing death and destruction wherever they go. No army, even mine dared to go up against you, did they? They say that you must be some sort of god, that no matter what wounds you receive, even fatal ones, you heal. Yet you can not be a god or else you would still not be here. Which makes you quite a mystery. You must be pretty special to scare my troops.  I could kill the ones who refused to go against you, but then I'd be out a whole battalion, and that would be pointless..."

 "I've heard stories about you too, the mighty Julius  Caesar. No mortal can stop you save one..Xena. Why are you so weak when it comes to her? You should have killed her when you had the chance..." The rest of his remarks were silenced by Caesar's hand slapping his face.

 "I didn't give you permission to speak, did I?"

 "I don't need permission." Methos replied.

  This earned the Immortal a blow hard enough to send him reeling to the floor.

 "You may be some sort of Immortal, but since you are not a God, and currently in *my* possession, you need to learn your place..."

 He grabbed Methos' shackled wrists and led him over to the table covered in scrolls. He undid the restraints and reattached them so the Immortal was bent over the table.

 "Why you...I'll kill you for this!" Methos seethed

 "Ooh. I'm so scared of a chained man..." retorted Caesar.

 Caesar quickly shed his clothes, grabbed a dagger and with a few neat slices, cut off the captive Immortal's pants. He stroked himself until he was hard, then spread the pre-cum over his cock. With no more preparation, he rammed himself hard into Methos, ignoring the yells of pain, and the threats. He fucked him fast and hard until he came screaming Methos' name.

 Caesar removed himself with a contented sigh, put his clothing back on and headed to his desk, having no intentions of unchaining the Immortal. He wasn't going to waste a view like that. He sat down. As he did, he turned around to check on his prisoner, and much to his surprise Methos was no longer there! Before he had a chance to wonder what was happened, he felt a dagger being forced into his back. The last sight he saw was Methos' grinning face...

* * * * * * *
 "And when I woke up, Methos was there, waiting for me."

 Methos continued "We stayed together, and when it came time for Caesar to disappear because of lack of aging, I devised the whole assassination scheme with Brutus and Cassius."

 "We stayed together for about twenty years, but then  our similar personalities made it impossible to cooperate with each other, so we split up. We haven't seen each other since," finished Caesar.

 Caesar turned to Ares. "Tell me, Ares. What are you doing here?"

 "Well, I was bored, and figured that it might be fun to harass my half-brother, when I thought I saw Methos pretending to be Methos. I just had to make sure...and now that I know, I was wondering Methos...have you been seeing anyone lately?"

 Methos stared at Ares' polite question. Ares was never polite, especially on manners of sex.

 He looked suspiciously at Ares and asked "Why are you asking?"

 Ares looked a little ashamed and said "These damn mortals, I can't get a partner for the night like I used to...and since you  are Immortal, there is a chance that you have a lover that is a good fighter, and I hate dealing with powerful Immortals..."

 "Well,I am staying near Duncan MacCleod, arguably the strongest fighter in the Game...but he is too much of a boy scout. No matter how many hints I drop, he refuses to be with me...after 400 years you'd think he'd loosen up a bit...though that whole Horsemen thing might have something to do with it..."

 "He knows about that?" asked Caesar and Ares at the same time.

 "Of course he knows." Turning to Caesar, he continued "A few years ago, Kronos tracked me down. He wanted to re-form the Horseman and take over the Earth, but he needed me to do it...I was always "the one with the plan" and he needed me, so he found me. Then it turns out that that bitch Cassandra had been following him around trying to find *me* because of what I had done to her all those millenia ago, and *she* told MacCleod what happened. To make a long story short, MacCleod killed Kronos and Caspian, and I killed Silas, and he *still* hasn't forgiven me for any of it."

 Ares and Caesar walked over to the Immortal.

 "Poor baby...all alone.." cooed Ares.

 "We really should rectify the problem." said Caesar as he began to nibble on Methos' neck.

 "What about...your brother.." Methos managed to spit out.

 "Don't worry about him..." he snapped his fingers. A loud crash was heard.  "There. He should be occupied for a while..."

 "Oh to Tartarus with it." Methos grabbed Caesar and kissed him on the lips. His tongue began to explore the teeth of the Emperor as his hands moved down his chest. "Ares get our clothes off now!"

  Ares was all too happy to comply. A second later, all three were naked: Methos and Caesar exploring each other hungry hands flying, tongues tasting the salty flesh of long lost lovers. Ares had stood there watching, but grew impatient. He broke up the Immortal pair and forced Methos on his knees. He knew Methos hated doing it, which is why it was he loved it so much. He knew how much Methos hated to give up control. Methos looked up at the God, a flash on anger in his eyes.

 "Do it Methos. That is, if you want to cum any time soon."

 As much as Methos hated being told what to do, he knew that when Ares decided that his lover shouldn't cum, that his lover didn't cum until he wanted it.

 He decided that two could play at that game. He may not have had as  much experience as the god, but he still knew how to tease a man until he begged. His tongue just barely lapped at the tip of the god's cock, then he slowly began to suck up and down it, ignoring Ares' attempts to speed him up. He finally relented when he heard Caesar whisper in his ear "The sooner you bring him off...the sooner we get to play..."

 Methos grinned and deep-throated the cock, and using  all his skill, had the God cumming within seconds.

 Methos stood up and looked at Caesar. "I want to be on top."

  "Oh no, don't you remember. Last time we were together I was on is *my* turn to be on top."

  "How could you remember that, it was three thousand years ago!!!!"

 "I have an excellent memory!"

 Before the argument could progress any further, the two immortals found themselves chained, Methos to the wall, and Caesar to the floor.

 "Now I see why you two broke up. Since you can't seem to decide, I'll decide for you. I've already had a taste of Methos, so now I need a sample from you Caesar..."

  He walked up to the Immortal, then crouched down beside him and examined the tanned, fit body. He ran his fingers over the brown nipples eliciting a hiss from Caesar.

 "So you like that, my Emperor?" said Ares. "Well, how about this?" He positioned himself so that he could easily reach all of Caesar. He nibbled at his neck, biting the skin, then  moved down and lick and suckled the nipples. He moved his way down his body, using Caesar's moans of lust as a guide. But finally it was too much. He summoned some oil up and began to stretch the Emperor, first one finger than two.

 "Damn it Ares! Fuck me already!" growled Caesar.

 "All right, all right. Ye of little patience..."

Ares entered the Immortal, little by little, driving  Caesar mad with lust...when his own lust took over. He rammed himself into him, once, twice, on the third time he knew he had hit Caesar's prostrate as the Emperor shuddered. Ares aimed at the same spot over and over again, while reaching for the Immortal's cock and began stroking it at the same pace as the thrusts. It didn't take much, and soon Caesar was over the edge yelling out the War God's name. Seconds  later the God came...then he heard the moaning of the other Immortal.

 "I've seen to have forgotten about you, haven't I?"

 "Ares *please*?" said Methos.

 "I could never say no when you begged." He grabbed the Immortals hard cock and few short strokes later had Methos cumming.
 "Thank the Gods. Could you unchain us now?"  asked the 5,000 year old.

 "Sure." With a snap the three were dressed, he in his black leather, and Methos and Caesar in their respective costumes.

  "By the way, who gets to top whom?" asked Caesar.

  "You were both great, but since Caesar didn't threaten me, he gets to be the top."

  "Yes!" yelled Caesar.

 "Hey! That's not fair. You'd never be going along with it if he picked me!"


 "I'm not going to be bottom willingly, you know."

 "Who cares? That's half the fun..."

 With the two Immortals were so wrapped up in their argument, and because Ares was so amused at their bickering, none of them heard Hercules come in.

 "Guys? Yoo-hoo! Hello!" said Hercules.

 "What?!?" chanted all three.

 "I hate to break up this little orgy, but were about to start filming  again, and we need you two on the set. By the way, Caesar. Methos. Can you guys be a little more discrete next time? Some of the grips heard noises coming from the trailer..."

 Methos stared at Hercules. "You mean you know who I am? How?"

 "Well, Karl...I mean Caesar, told me about your years together."

  Methos turned to Karl. "You told him about me?"

 "Sure. It was the only way I could get him into my bed...seems Hercules here hates being "unfairly" compared to other Immortals. A little bragging about your prowess was all that it took."

 Methos and Ares shared an "I can't believe this is happening look": Methos because Kevin Sorbo was actually Hercules. He hadn't met him before, so didn't know any better; Ares because his brother had actually slept with Caesar.

 "Well, guys, I'd love to continue this chat, but we  really have to get going. Ares? Are you staying or leaving?" Kevin said all too cheerfully.

 "I had my fun. I'm going...for now." The truth was the fact that his little brother had slept with one of *his* lovers disturbed him more than he cared to admit and he couldn't let Hercules see that Ares had disappeared.

 As the trio walked towards the set, the two Immortals made amends and decided that neither would be on bottom--they would both top Hercules, and were working on a plan to get him into their bed.

 The End