The Trials and Tribulations of Fixing a Sword
By JaimeBlue

He began tracing lingering kisses along the woman's perfect breasts.  He held her close as he took one pert little nub between his teeth, and could feel his cock harden when she hissed in pleasure at the sensations.


He groaned into the pliant flesh beneath him.  Who could that be?

"Heph!  Get your ass out here!  Now!"

He looked at the woman beneath him.  "Come on, just forget him and finish what you started."

With a feral growl, he dove once again into her ample bosom.


"Heph, I know you're in there!  Get your hands off my sister and get your ass down here.  It's an emergency!"

He looked at the face of his beloved wife and sighed resignedly. "If I don't go see what he wants, he'll keep at it until something blows up.  You know how he is."

She sighed.  "All right.  Just don't be long."

"I won't, dearest."

Within two quick flashes, Hephaestus was dressed and standing in his forge, staring angrily at the pacing form of Ares, God of War. "What is it Ares?  I was with Dite and…"

"I know.  I've been there, remember?"  He winced, realizing this may not be the best time to remind his brother about that little detail.  "All right, all right.  I need you to fix a sword for me."

Heph's jaw dropped in shock.  "You called me away from the Goddess of Love for a stupid sword?"

"It's not just any sword.  It's my favourite.  You made it, and only you can fix it."

"What happened?"

"Hercules happened.  Now here it is.  Get to work."
Ares held out his hands, which held two halves of an elegantly designed sword.


Ares' face displayed the shock he felt.  "No?  What do you mean, no?"

"I mean, brother, that I'm going back to my wife. Either you can wait until I've forgiven you for this interruption, or you can find another sword.  Either way, you're fucked, and hopefully soon I will be too.  Now goodbye!"

Ares was still in shock when Heph popped back to his and Dite's home on Olympus.  How dare he refuse him!  He was the God of War! Once the shock eventually wore off, he realized he had to stop and think of another solution to his problem.  There was no other sword like this one in
this universe… in THIS universe.  Ares grinned.  There must be one like it in that other universe Iolaus had visited.  All he would have to do would be to visit that place's War God, which if he remembered right was Cupid (he couldn't help but laugh), and ask him where he could find the sword's mate.  As long as he avoided that other Ares…

He transported himself to a point at Greece's outer border, where he wouldn't be sensed by any of the other Gods unless they were concentrating on the area. Calling up all his energy, he let go a burst which coalesced into a whirling tunnel and jumped through it. He landed with a thump on his ass and immediately stood and looked around.  The area was as desolate as the one he'd just left.  He extended his senses for the nearest prayers to this universe's God of War and followed them to a temple devoted to Cupid. Ares made himself invisible and entered the temple.

Once the last of the petitioners left, he walked to the center of the room and called out.  "Cupid!  I want to talk to you!"

There was a flash of bright red light and before him stood the black-winged God of War.  The God's serious face dissipated upon seeing who it was who had summonsed him.  Ares was shocked at the look of disgust that crossed the War God's face.  "What are YOU doing here?"  He looked as if he were about to say something else when his eyes widened and he looked at Ares appreciatively.  "You know, I like that look on you.  You're still a sissy, but at least now you look half decent.  Now what is it you want?"

Ares counted to a hundred to keep his temper in check, then opened his mouth to speak.  "I have a broken sword I would like to replace, and I was hoping you could tell me where I could find its mate."

"What would you need a sword… oh!  So you finally decided to bed one of my warriors.  As long as it's not HIM…"

"HIM who?"

"Who?  Don't play stupid with me.  You and I both know we've been fighting over him almost since the day he was born.  And no sword you can ever get can seduce him.  I should know, I already tried."

Ares shook his head to try and shake the feeling of disorientation.  He decided to try a somewhat different tactic.  He held out the sword pieces which were still in his hands to the winged God.  "This sword.  Where's it's mate?"

Cupid erupted in anger and blasted Ares with a bolt of energy.  He landed against the opposite wall and fell into a pile of rubble.  "How dare you!  You stole him from me.  I gave him that sword.  Oh, he's going to rue the day he ever made that choice."

"What are you talking about?"  Ares shook himself off angrily.

"I thought I told you not to play with me!  Now get out of my temple!  I've got a few words for a certain mortal, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

With yet another flash of red light, Cupid was gone.

"You know, you really shouldn't cross him like that.  You know how he can get."

Ares felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to the familiar face of Discord.

"Like you always told me.  Dis, never cross Cupid without your Dad's backup.  Well, this time it's you who could have used a little backup.  Next time, take your own advice, ok Dad?  And by the way, what's with the threads?"

Ares simply shook his head at the white-clad Goddess and headed back to the center of the room to pick up the sword pieces that still lay there.

"Oh my God!  No wonder he was so pissed!"

He turned around, holding out the sword pieces.  "You mean, you recognize this?"

"Well, duh!  Everyone on Olympus recognizes Joxie's sword!"

"Joxer?"  Ares covered his mouth to muffle the laugh that threatened to escape.

"What's with you, Pops?  You of all people should recognize his sword, especially with the way you've been mooning over him for the last couple of decades.  You've wanted him since the day he kissed his first warrior, though I still think nine was wayyy too young."  She saw the strange way her father was looking at her and concluded he must have hit his head pretty hard.  "I've got a few couples to get together so I'd better head off.  Are you gonna be ok?"  At
Ares' nod, she left in a smattering of rose petals.

"I've definitely got to get out of here."  Ares left the temple and walked among the mortals.  He took hold of a few, reading their minds, until he got the information he needed, then transported himself to the palace where the Sovereign once resided. It didn't take him long to find this universe's incarnation of Joxer 'the Mighty', and Ares had to admit he was quite impressed.  Even Jett never looked this good in leather.  The rebel, or former rebel and
current reformer, was sparring with one of the palace soldiers.  With very few moves, he was able to dispatch each of his attackers while barely breaking a sweat.  Ares noticed that in his hand he held the twin of Ares' favourite sword.  Once the last soldier was defeated, Ares couldn't help but applaud.

Joxer looked over and rolled his eyes.  "Hello Ares.  What can I do for you?"

"Well, you can start by giving me your sword."

Joxer laughed.  "So that's what you're calling it these days.  I don't think so.  You know I'm too busy."  He smoothly slid the sword into his scabbard and walked to a table on the other side of the room to fetch a goblet of water.

All of a sudden, the room was lit by a red flash of light as Cupid arrived on the scene.  "Ares, I thought I told you to stay away while I take care of a little business."  The God turned towards the mortal and began forming a fireball in his hand.  Everyone in the room but Joxer turned and ran from the irate God of War.

Within an instant, Ares came to several conclusions at once. First, the fireball would damage the sword which was still at Joxer's side.  Second, he hated seeing a warrior die needlessly, particularly one with this one's skill.  Finally, although he had no great affection for his universe's Joxer, he didn't want to see the death of the only man capable of truly annoying his brother, Hercules.  With a thought, he formed a fireball of his own and sent it hurling at
Cupid.  The impact was enough to send the God back to Olympus where it would take him a long time to recover.

He felt such a rush.  He loved battles of all kinds.  They made his juices flow, energized him, and made him  extremely horny. He looked over at Joxer who had a strangely calm look
upon his face.  "Thanks Ares.  Now it you don't mind, I've got some business to attend to."  He tried to leave the room but was stopped by a powerful hand on his arm.

"You're not going anywhere."

"What?  Come on, Ares…"  His words were stopped with Ares' lips.  He struggled to no avail against the God who held him close.

"You're mine, mortal."  With a wave of his hand, the man's clothing disappeared (leaving the sword of course).  However, the mortal still struggled.  Ares decided this wasn't the time for gentleness, and pushed the warrior onto his stomach.  With another wave, his own clothing had disappeared, and he swiftly entered the struggling mortal.  He pumped until he came to his own completion, then, grabbing the sword, sent another burst of energy into the air to create
another portal.  Shaking his head at the man just getting off the ground, he jumped back to his own universe.

He retreated to his temple in Thrace and sat on his throne, looking over his sword.  He was extremely disappointed in the other world's Joxer.  He'd expected him to be a much better fuck.  Oh well. He looked up as a figure entered the main hall.  Imagine the coincidence!  There stood the strangely armoured figure of Joxer 'the Mighty'.  He looked so different from his counterpart, so different…  He all of a sudden remembered something Iolaus had mentioned
about the other universe, which he could of course attest to.  Apparently each man was the exact opposite of his counterpart.

Ares considered the man before him and realized he was invisible to the mortal.  With a wave, he appeared in his chair and Joxer immediately fell to his knees.

"Lord Ares, I didn't know you were here.  I…"

Ares stood and walked towards the wanna-be warrior.  He grabbed the man by the front of his shirt and raised him so that they were just about face-to-face.  He leaned forward and claimed the man's lips with his own.

This Joxer responded willingly, wrapping his arms around his God and molding himself to the leather-clad figure that still held him.  Ares let out a feral growl as he felt all his blood rush to his groin, and in a flash he transferred them to one of the temple's bedchambers.  He removed their clothing with a thought and lifted the mortal onto the bed. He became even more aroused as Joxer's hands explored every inch of his body.

"Oh, Ares.  I've dreamed of this for so long."

Ares didn't protest when Joxer maneuvered him onto his back.  The man stimulated every one of his nerves, every inch of flesh.  He let out a gasp of pleasure as he felt his cock enveloped in the silky contours of the mortal's mouth. "Joxer.  Oh, yes!"  The man knew what he was doing, and soon had Ares panting, close to release.  Ares pulled at the man before he went over the edge and they entwined in yet another passionate kiss.  Ares rolled them over so that he was on top.  With a thought, Joxer's passage was oiled and Ares inserted a finger to prepare him.

"Please, Ares.  I need you now, inside me."

Ares decided he needed no more preparing and in one motion entered him.  They both closed their eyes, losing themselves to the pleasure they felt.  Ares began moving inside Joxer, making certain to hit the sweet spot inside the mortal with almost every thrust.  As he was close to climax, he wrapped a hand around Joxer's cock and pumped in time to his movements.

"Oh, Ares.  YES!"  Joxer came all over Ares' hand as his ass pulsed around Ares' cock, spurring the God on to his own orgasm.

Once the effects of his climax had passed, Ares lay to Joxer's side, closing his eyes in relaxation and cleaning them both with a thought.  He unconsciously let out a sigh as he felt the man snuggle into his side. Opening one eye, Ares considered the man laying next to him, and was forced to admit things to himself that he'd been trying not to think about.  He'd hated the other Joxer.  Sure, on the one hand the man looked good in leather, and he was a fabulous fighter.  But no matter how much that appealed to Ares on the surface, the fact of the matter was that he wasn't the same Joxer who now lay in his bed.  He'd wanted to punish him for that, and in fact had. Looking down at the mortal, he couldn't help but smile.  "Joxer, promise something."

"Your wish is my command, Ares."

"Never change."  He leant over to place a kiss on the man's temple.

"Whatever you want, Ares.  Anything for you."

The End