Just Desserts
By Huntress

Iolaus and Ares were living it up. They were in Thessalonika for Cupid's annual orgy, having gone there to hide from Hercules and Iphicles. After the incident at the banquet, the two decided that hiding out was the smart thing to do. Neither God nor hunter wanted to face their respective lovers. Both were afraid of the consequenses. Iolaus was afraid that Herc was going to spank him sore and Ares figured Iphicles would do the same. Even a God could get a sore bottom (and he had had one, on more then one occasion). So Ares 'poofed' both himself and Iolaus to Thessalonika. They figured it was at least eight days travel from Corinth, and by the time their lover's caught up
to them, all would be forgiven. But neither thought that Herc would call for, and get, Godly intervention, in the form of Athena. She was pissed off at Ares as usual, and was more then happy to take Herc and Iphicles to them.

Iolaus was laying on a table, eyes closed, waiting for a massage, and Ares was at the table next to him. Iolaus felt hands begin to glide over his back and moaned his approval.

"Feels nice...a litle higher...yeah...perfect...."

"I figure it should take Herc and Iph at least a week to find us," Ares said. "So how about after this we take off for Siphnos? They're having their annual beach barbecue. You remember two years ago? Me, you, Herc, and Autolycus? Now that was a blast."

"I don't know," Iolaus answered. "Chaeronea is having a harvest festival. Something about the harvest brings out the most gorgeous people. I met a blonde last time that...Owww!! Hey...a little softer would ya...you're gonna break my shoulder."

"Well make up your mind Iolaus. Or would you rather go back to Corinth?"

"I'll make up my mind...I will...give me a while. We have at least a week here. Besides, we can't avoid Herc and Iph forever you know. Maybe we should just face them and get it over with."

"I don't think so Iolaus," Ares said, with a laugh. "We avoid them as long as we can. I am in no hurry to face the King. I still think we should have done more then we did in...Ahhh!! Do you have any idea who you are massaging? Get it right or I'll...Owwww!!! Alright, that does it! You are toast...nobody massages the God of...." Ares' voice trailed off when he saw whose hands were on his body. A quick look to his left, and he saw who was massaging Iolaus.  "Ummm...Iolaus?"

"What is it Ares? I'm busy here. By the way, did you see the redhead with the whip?"

"Iolaus, I think you should...." Ares wanted to get him to shut up before he said more.

"Look Ares, Herc's not here and I'm gonna...Ahhh! Shit! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Are you trying to break my..." Iolaus raised his head and looked at the face behind the hands. "Oh...hi Herc...just talking about ya."

"So I heard Iolaus," Herc replied, giving Iolaus' neck a little squeeze.

"As for you...you...you black-leathered slut," Iphicles growled, grabbing Ares by the hair. "Do *you* have any idea what could have happened?"

Ares tried to calm his lover. "Now Iphy, nothing happened. It was fun. Admit it. You got turned on by that blow-job." He looked at his brother and grinned. "And you did too Herc. You're both just too stiff to admit it."

"Stiff?" Herc stated. "I'll give you stiff!" He lunged at Ares, but Ares moved off the table, and Herc hit his head. "Ahhh shit! I'm going to get you for that Ares!" He lunged again, and Ares ran to the other side of the table.

"Lil' bwother got a boo-boo?" Ares said mockingly. "Maybe Iolaus can kiss it and make it better."

Again Herc went for him, but this time he knew Ares was going for the door. Herc managed to get a hold of him, and had him in a headlock.

"Boo-boo! I'll give you a boo-boo!" Herc flipped him on the floor, put his hands around Ares neck, and began to strangle him.

"You had fun, didn't ya Iphy?" Iolaus asked.

"Iphy...IPHY! I'll give you an Iphy!" Iphicles shouted, tackling Iolaus. He was sitting atop him, about to punch his lights out, when there was a flash of blue light. All four men looked up to see Cupid standing there, bow at the ready.

"This is *my* festival of love. If you guys don't behave, I'm gonna shoot you all. In a cow pasture. Got it!"

"Now son..." Ares began, but Cupid cut him off.

"Don't *son* me you baboon! Now behave yourselves, or you're gonna find yourselves in love with the four ugliest, oldest women this side of Tartarus. Understand?" No answer. "UNDERSTAND!!"

Four voices mumbled "Yes", Cupid nodded and vanished. The moment he was gone, Herc's hands went back to Ares neck and Iphicles went back to punch Iolaus.

Cupid popped back in. "STOP!!" The four men were so shocked at the tone in Cupid's voice that they did. Herc got off of Ares, and Iphicles off Iolaus. "Much better," said the winged God, and he vanished again.

"Tempermental isn't he," observed Iphicles.

"He gets it from his mother," answered Ares. "She's got a permanent case of PMS."

"Herc noooo!" Iolaus' voice was heard above all the noise going on outside. Ares and Iph turned to see them, Herc sitting on a sofa, Iolaus across Herc's knee. Iolaus was struggling, but to no avail.

"You think that stunt was funny?" Herc asked him.

"Uh-huh," Iolaus said with a giggle. "You should have seen your face...and you did enjoy it Herc. I saw you. Now lemme up." He looked up at Herc, his eyes wide and innocent. "Please."

"I don't know Iolaus. I kind of like you in this position." He rubbed his hand over Iolaus' ass. "I just don't know what to do with you. Part of me says to fuck you. The other part says to spank your bottom red. Decisions, decisions."

"Go for the spanking Herc," said Ares, his face filled with glee.

'I wouldn't give any suggestions War God," Iphicles said. "You could end up on the receiving end of *my* hand."

"Promises, promises," Ares replied. "You know, for a king, you don't make your threats very good."

"Oh I don't huh?" Iphicles said, and jumped at Ares. Ares moved, Iph flew into Herc, and Iolaus fell off the demigod's lap.

"I'm out of here!" said Iolaus. He grabbed his clothes, got the door open, and ran out as quick as his feet would carry him.

"Get off of me!" Herc yelled, dumping Iphicles on the floor. "Iolaus...get back here!" Herc ran out after him.

"You leave my buddy alone!" screamed Ares. He waved his hand, his clothes were back, and he concentrated on Iolaus, ready to 'poof' to him. But nothing happened.

'Damn,' he thought, 'Cupid must have enchanted the place. No popping out now.'

So he ran into the hall and chased after Hercules.

"I'll kill him," said Iph. "I don't know which one yet, but somebody will pay." He went for the door, then caught sight of a bowl of fruit. 'A king has to eat,' he thought. He grabbed a peach, and ran out the door. But he had no idea which direction to go in. He went left, not knowing the other three had gone right.

Iolaus was running, clothes in hand, trying every door along the way, needing to find a room to hide in. On his fifth try, he finally found one that was open. He ran in, slamming the door behind him...and found himself face to face with four naked women. "My lucky day," he said with a grin. But his grin faded when he saw the ropes on the bed posts, and noticed that all four were holding whips. "Maybe not so lucky...it's been swell," he said, and ran back out, running straight into Herc.

"Iolaus...now where were we?"

"I'm going this way," Iolaus nodded, looking down the hall, "and you're going in there!" He grabbed Herc by the arm and pushed him into the room, slamming the door behind him, and jammed the door handle with a chair he saw in the hall. 'I hope he has fun,' Iolaus thought.


'I can hope...' thought Iolaus, and continued on his run. He needed to find somewhere to get dressed, and then find Ares. Siphnos was sounding awfully good now. Trying a few more doors, he finally found another open one. But this time he peeked in first. His eyes went wide at the sight before him. There were at least twenty people, all laying together, atop and across one another, in all kinds of positions, and they were all naked. "Now this is *my* kind of room," he said with a smile. He tossed his clothes into a corner, and looked for an open spot on the floor. But before he could find one, he was grabbed by the hair.

"Owww...Herc how'd you get out of there so quickly?"

"It's not Herc pretty boy," said a voice behind him.

"Hey Iph," Iolaus said, a lilt in his voice. He turned and came face to face with the King. "Can't you relax for five minutes? Look around you. You gonna tell me you'd rather beat me up then have fun like this?"

"Oh yeah, most defin...." Iphicles stopped short and looked down. A brunette and a redhead were both on their knees in front of him, nuzzling his crotch, and both were pulling down his pants. Iphicles tried to pull away. "Ladies if you don't mind...."

"I think they do King," said Iolaus, a very big grin on his face. He pushed Iphicles, and Iphicles fell onto a pile of pillows. "And I mind too," Iolaus added, pouncing on his king.

Ares was running down the hall. 'I can't believe I lost them,' he thought. He heard a door open and turned around. He saw Hercules stumble out of a room, his breathing shallow, and his clothes ripped half off of him. Herc looked like he'd just battled a hydra.

"Where is Iolaus?" Ares asked.

"He's in there," Herc said, nodding to the room.

"Thank you," Ares answered. He walked into the room, and Herc pulled the door shut tight. Herc twisted the door handle so even Ares would have a hard time opening it.


"Have fun big brother," Herc mumbled, an evil grin on his face.

Hercules continued down the hall, opening every door. Those that were locked presented no problems for him. However, he opened one door and couldn't decide what to do. Whether or not to run in and attack or throw up.

At first glance he wasn't quite sure if it was her or not. But then their eyes met and he knew.

There was his stepmother, the ever annoying, disgusting, and bitchy Goddess of Cows, Hera. And she was on the bed, with three men and a woman. He closed the door, and shook his head, thinking he was hallucinating. So he opened the door again to confirm it. When he was sure, he closed it again, took a deep breath, and sat in the hall, wondering if a trip to Iphicles' house head doctor, Freudius, was in order.

"Relax Uncle Herc," Cupid said, appearing beside him. "It *is* her."

"But what's she...how...why...." Herc stammered, not quite sure what to ask.

"She's changed since that whole Dahak business. See, Gramps took her out of Tartarus when he thought we were going to be destroyed. He *does* love her...strange but true. Anyway, when we got back here, Zeus let her stay free. One night I come home and I find her with Bliss, playing toy soldiers. I was kinda pissed that he was playing 'war', me bein' the God of Love and all, but then I remembered who his grandfather is. Anyway, she's been real nice. Rumor has it that she even got over her hatred of you. I mean you saved us and all. So when she wanted to come here for my festival, I couldn't say no. She is my Granny you know."

"Okay Cupid," Herc replied, still in mild shock. "But I don't want to be near Ares if he finds out."

"He won't. I hope. By the way, Iolaus and Iphicles are two doors down. Thought you might like to know."

"Thanks," Herc said, and went to the door Cupid pointed to.

"Have fun unc!"

Hercules opened the door and walked in, expecting to find Iolaus beaten to a pulp. Instead he saw lots of people, some doing some pretty 'interesting' things. He looked for Iolaus and Iphicles, but didn't see them. Not at first. Then his eyes caught blonde curls in the corner. Walking closer he saw it *was* Iolaus, and Iolaus was pulling Iphicles' pants off. Unsure what to do, if they were having a good time together he didn't want to interrupt, he backed up, went back into the hall, and straight into Ares. Ares looked like a herd of bulls had trampled him. His leather vest was gone, his pants were ripped, he was wearing one boot, and he had a murderous look in his eyes.
Ares suddenly charged him. Herc ducked, and when Ares turned and charged again, Herc opened the door where Hera was, and Ares flew inside, landing with a thud. Herc closed the door, and stood there for a moment, listening.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Ares screamed.

'My work here is done,' Herc thought with a giggle, and ambled back to the other room.

Hercules walked back in, determined that nobody was going to have fun without him. He went back to Iolaus and Iphicles, and saw they were naked, Iolaus straddling Iph's chest. Iolaus was teasing Iphicles, bringing his cock to the King's mouth and pulling away when Iph grabbed for it with his tongue. Quickly shedding his clothes, (which caused two women and one man looking his way to faint), he knelt between Iph's legs, and grabbed Iolaus around the waist. Iolaus turned with a start, and smiled at him.

"I take it I'm forgiven," Iolaus asked.

"For the moment," Herc answered and pulled Iolaus into a hard kiss. At the same time he pushed the hunter towards Iphicles, and Iolaus' cock slid into Iphicles' mouth. Iphicles brought his hands around to Iolaus' ass, grabbing it and pulling him closer.

Herc scooted down, til his mouth was at Iphicles' cock. He forgot about everything else. He took his fingers, sucking on them, and he pushed one in, and when Iphicles relaxed, another finger joined it, then a third. He played like this for a while, swallowing Iphicles' cock at the same time. Herc gave Iphicles' cock one last lick and sat up, took his fingers from Iphicles' ass, placing his cock there, rubbing it along Iphicles' waiting hole.

"You are so tight brother," he whispered, before slowly pushing in, sheathing himself, feeling the warmth. Iphicles moaned from the feelings of Herc's cock inside him, and sucked Iolaus harder. Iolaus turned his head and nearly came from the sight.

"Oh yeah Herc...fuck him," Iolaus said, staring at Herc's cock.

"Concentrate on what you're doing Iolaus," Herc replied, and pushed Iolaus' cock back to Iphicles. Herc realized that Iolaus' ass was right in front of him. One hand grasped Iphicles' cock, stroking it softly, and the other started rubbing Iolaus' cheeks. Herc pushed a finger into Iolaus, and the hunter moaned, fucking Iph's mouth faster. Another finger followed, and Iolaus was in ecstasy.

"Herc, that is soooo nice," moaned Iolaus. "More...please...."

"More Iolaus?" asked Ares. Standing beside Iolaus, Ares grabbed Iolaus by the hair and pulled Iolaus' mouth to his cock, fucking the hunter's mouth. Iolaus took a hand and grabbed Ares' ass to steady himself. He didn't want to topple off Iphicles.

Ares and Herc looked at each other.

"I'm going...to...get...ohhhhh Iolaus...you...for...that....ohhhhhh!" Ares moaned.

"How do you think...Gods Iph you are so tight...I feel...." said Herc, pounding Iphicles harder.

Iolaus gave a final thrust into Iph's mouth and shot his load down the king's throat. But Iphicles wouldn't let go of him, even after he was empty. Iph just shifted his hands to Iolaus' balls, caressing them, while Iolaus' cock stayed in his mouth. Herc gave a shout and spilled into Iphicles, stroking Iph hard and fast, not stopping until Iphicles came all over his hand and stopped thrusting up. Ares was next. He pulled Iolaus closer to him, screamed "Iolaus!!" and gave all to the hunter.

"Very nice Iolaus," Ares moaned. He looked at Herc. "You, little brother, are going to pay." He pulled Hercules off of Iphicles, and lay him on the floor. Herc rolled them so he was astride Ares.

"*I'm* Hercules," he said with a grin. "And heroes never pay. They win!" He took his cock in hand and put it to Ares lips. "Take me Ares. If you think you can handle it." Ares smiled and let Herc slide his cock over his lips, taking him all the way in, giving his brother such a lustful look, that Herc nearly came from that look.

Iphicles and Iolaus watched the sons of Zeus going at it.

"They do look nice," Iphicles said.

"Oh yeah," said Iolaus. "I got an idea Iph. Help me out here." He whispered to Iphicles and the king smiled. "Good idea Iolaus."

Grabbing Hercules, the two turned him so Ares and Herc were in a '69'. Herc fucked Ares mouth, and took Ares cock into *his* mouth, and the two were in a frenzy of lust, sucking each other's cocks. Iolaus moved behind Herc, and Iphicles did the same to Ares. With a look at one another, both plunged into their respective lovers. Hercules grabbed Iphicles by the ass and moved him in and out of Ares, sucking Ares cock at the same rhythm. Iolaus grabbed Herc's ass and thrust in, pounding into his lover, pushing Herc in and out of Ares' mouth. The four were in ecstasy, fucking each other in a way that was new to all.

Iolaus came first, shouting out, pulling out of Hercules, and spilling over Herc's ass. He leaned down and licked the demigod's ass, taking back that which he had given. Watching this, Iphicles came next, doing the same to Ares. The son's of Zeus shouted their completion a moment later, and all four collapsed in a heap. Disentangling themselves after a few minutes, they stood. Iolaus went for his clothes, but Herc grabbed him.

"You were still a bad boy in Corinth Iolaus," he said.

"You too Ares," Iphicles smiled. "And payback's a bitch."

Reaching over to a nearby table laden with all kinds of food, Iphicles picked up a piece of pie and shoved it in Ares face. Ares sputtered, and looked up at Iphicles, whipped cream all over his face. Iolaus cracked up.

"You think it's funny blondie?!" Ares said. He picked up a chocolate cake and threw it at Iolaus. Iolaus ducked and the cake hit Herc in the face. Herc wiped the cake from his face, and growled at Iolaus.

"I *don't* like chocolate!" Herc grabbed Iolaus and threw him into a plate of mashed potatoes. Iolaus lifted his head, and licked his face. "Needs butter," he said.

"Then have some," Herc said, and shoved Iolaus' head into a tub of it.

"Have some fruit King!" said Ares and smushed a banana in Iphicles' face.

"You look silly," Herc laughed hysterically. He stopped when he got a face full of jam.

It was at that moment Cupid appeared. "STOP IT!! STOP IT!! *What* are you doing!!"

The four paused, and looked at the God of Love.

"Having fun like you said to," said Herc. "And you know what would really be fun...this!" He picked up his nephew, and dumped him in the punch bowl. Cupid lifted his head up, shook it, and splashed them all with punch. Cupid looked absolutely murderous. He picked up a pie, and threw it in their direction. Four heads ducked, and the pie hit Hera in the face. Five grown men looked horrified.

"The spell is gone!" Cupid shouted. "I'm outta here!" He vanished.

"Ares!" screamed Herc, Iolaus, and Iphicles in unison.

"I got ya!" Ares screamed. He waved his hands and the four vanished, reappearing in Corinth, in the banquet room.

"HERCULES!!" screeched Imogene, her voice making all four scrunch up their faces.

"Oh no!" groaned Herc, and he ran out the door, the screechy voiced woman chasing him.

"Your highness." Iphicles turned and saw Glynna. "We still haven't spoken about the schools in Cresus...." Iphicles screamed and followed Herc out the door, Glynna following him, shouting about quills and parchments.

"Hey Ares," Iolaus said. "Hungry? I mean I know God's don't *have* to eat but this stuff looks good."

"It sure does Iolaus," answered Ares.

The two sat, filled their plates, and satiated themselves on the food.

The End

Chapter Disclaimer: Ares and Hercules are both undergoing intensive therapy brought on from seeing Hera naked.
Author's Note 2: Freudius appears in the wonderful and humorous fic "Analysis",  written by Marti.