Be Careful What You Wish For
By Huntress
"Time to get up...the day is young and so are...wake up would you?" The hero's voice got firm. "Look buddy. Time to get up. Go fight the bad guys."

His best friend stirred. "It's not even light out yet. Come back to bed."

The hero spoke again. "Early to bed, early to rise...."

"I'm gonna punch you right in the eyes!" his buddy growled. He dragged himself out of bed, trying to decide if the hero was in need of a punch. He decided not yet.

Three days now. The hero's best friend couldn't take anymore. He finally decided to go pay his sister a visit again. Maybe she'd found an antidote. Because one more day of Iolaus thinking he was the demigod hero, and Hercules would be in an asylum.

Three days earlier....

Herc & Iolaus were in Mycenae, where a new temple to Aphrodite was being erected. They weren't in the habit of caring about such things as a norm, but 'Dite had done them a favor and they were repaying her by showing up.

It started in the tavern. Iolaus, four bigger men, name-calling, ('shorty', 'fathead', 'asshole', to name a few), and, of course, the proverbial "who are *you*?". Quite a few ale's later, a brawl ensued, and Iolaus, with black eye and busted lip, found himself being dragged back to their room at the inn, thrown into a chair, and lectured by Hercules, once again, on starting fights. But tonight Iolaus was not going to take it. As soon as the lecture started, he stood, and walked out of the room. Herc followed, going on and on about how Iolaus was going to get hurt again. But Iolaus, his head still foggy from the ale, ignored him, and left the inn, wandering to 'Dite's temple. He knew she was there and he wanted to talk to her. Why her, he didn't know. But he had to talk to someone, and she seemed good enough. He entered the temple, and was set upon by her priests.

"What can we do for you?" one asked.

"Offerings over here," said another.

"Petitions over there," said a third.

Iolaus spoke bluntly. "I *don't* make offerings, I don't *need* to make petitions, and *you* can't do anything for me. APHRODITE!"

"Please sir, the great Goddess is busy right now. I'm sure we can help you."

"I said *no*," Iolaus repeated. "'DITE!!"

Aphrodite appeared, and the priests bowed.

"We're sorry great Goddess, but this man...."

"Hiya sweetcheeks...what's up?" She said, smiling at him. She looked at her priests. "Don't you guy's have something else to do?" They mumbled and went about their business, wondering who 'sweetcheeks' was.

"I got a problem," Iolaus said. "Can we go somewhere private to talk?"

"No prob," 'Dite answered. "Come on." She led him to the rear of the temple, where they sat on a large, pink (of course), couch. "So tell me handsome, what's on your mind?"

"Herc." Iolaus took a deep breath and continued. "Another lecture. This one on fighting. You know, I'm getting sick of the damn lectures. Sometimes I think if he had to walk in my boots he'd know what it's like for me. Getting called names, being asked 'and who are you?', not to mention being asked what he's like in bed. *He* doesn't get asked things like that about *me*. I'm just a little pissed that's all."

"Iolaus," Aphrodite said, taking his hand. "Hercules is Hercules. You can't do anything about it. You're one of the good guys too you know."

Iolaus smiled back at her. "It's not that. For once, I'd like to be the hero and let Herc be *my* sidekick."

"Iolaus," she sighed. "You *are* a hero. I thought you knew that by now."

"I do," he said. "But just once, I'd like to be Hercules. I know it's stupid...and yeah, I know I'm a hero too, but still...."

"Let me think of something," she said.

'Dite's face got screwy while she thought, and Iolaus could swear he heard some of her brain cells popping. After a few moments, she spoke to him, a smile on her face. "Okay Iolaus. I have an idea." She waved her hand, and a flask appeared there. "Drink this and you can be Herc for a while."

He looked at her hesitantly. "Wait a sec'. I drink *that*, (he pointed to the flask), and I can *be* Herc...that's what you're telling me?"

"Plain and simple sweetcheeks. I owe you one. Actually a few more then one. But this should be fun. I'd like to see Herc as a sidekick." She giggled, and Iolaus joined her. "So drink up, and you'll be walking in *his* boots."

Iolaus took the flask, opened it, and upturned it toward his mouth. But he stopped for a moment. "Drink this and me and Herc will switch places?" he asked, wanting confirmation.

"You got it!"

'Iolaus, I hope you know what you're doing,' he thought, and swallowed the contents of the flask. A moment later, his head was swimming, and when his vision cleared, he saw 'Dite in front of him.

"Aphrodite...." he began.

Aphrodite looked at him funny. "Herc?" she asked.

"What am I doing here?"

'Uh-oh', she thought. Aphrodite was not sensing her brother. She still sensed Iolaus. "Who are you?" she asked quietly.

"Who am I? Last time I checked I was Hercules," Iolaus said matter-of-factly, smiled, and left the temple.

Three days later, after trying to reverse the spell, and unable to, 'Dite went to her big brother for help.  Ares just stared at her, not sure if he'd heard correctly. "You did what?!"

"Iolaus wanted to be Hercules for a while, so I gave him some drink to change them, but all that happened is now Iolaus *thinks* he's Herc. And Herc is still Herc. Arry, what am I going to do? I've been hiding in Athena's temple, 'cause when Herc finds me, he's gonna kill me."

"Wait a minute...Iolaus *thinks* he's Hercules...Bwahahahahahahaha!!" Ares was doubled over in laughter. "You did it this time little sister."

"Alot of help you are," she said, and began to bawl. "Iolaus came to me for help, and I screwed up and now Herc is never gonna speak to me again, and...." she was lost in her tears again.

"Stop crying. Okay. I'll see what I can do. But you are going to owe me a *whole bunch* of favors for this one."

"You'll help me Ares?" she asked quietly.

"I said I would didn't I. Where are they now?"

"They're in Icaria. I don't know what's been going on."

"Well, don't you worry your little brain about it. Big brother will take care of everything. You just stay hidden until I can straighten this out. Okay?"

She nodded, looking so sad that Ares took her in his arms and kissed her hard. He broke the kiss abruptly, leaving her dazed, and gave her breasts a brief, hard caress. "You've still got the nicest tits on Olympus," he said with a leer. Before she could answer, Ares popped out, on his way to Icaria.

'If I were Hercules, where would I be?' Ares thought, appearing outside his temple in Icaria. 'No...If I were Iolaus. No, that's not right either. If I were Iolaus, and I *thought* I was Herc...stop trying too hard Ares. This is something involving 'Dite.'  He didn't come to Icaria often and the town was unfamiliar to him. 'Best to find the nearest tavern.'

He found the tavern easily enough, (it wasn't so hard...he just followed the sounds of fists on flesh), and was quite surprised to see his little brother hiding at a table in the corner, quite a few mugs in front of him. All empty.

Taking a seat opposite his brother, Ares said, "What in Tartarus are you doing? *You* are drunk."

Herc groaned. "Not yet big brother...but I'm getting there." His words were slurred and his eyes were bloodshot, and he gave his brother a crooked smile. "He *thinks* he's me...and he hates me."

"Who hates you?" Ares asked, shaking his head. "Nobody hates you."

"Iolaus does. He said so. Said I'm a pain in the ass." Herc stood, and nearly fell over. "I need another mug." He started to walk to the bar, but couldn't keep his balance. Ares caught him as he fell over, flung him over his shoulder, found out what room he was in, and carried him upstairs. He lay Herc on the bed, and Herc was awake again, and looking even more miserable then before. "He hates me Ares. He hasn't let me fuck him in three days." The (extremely plastered) demigod burst into tears.

"Herc, this is going to hurt me more then you," Ares said, and cold-cocked his brother. Herc fell back, out cold. Ares covered him with the blanket, then got himself some ice. The punch *had* hurt him more then Hercules.

A few minutes later, Iolaus came busting into the room, and stared at Ares with a murderous look in his eyes.

"What are you doing Ares?!" Iolaus shouted. "*You stay away from Iolaus!"

Ares jumped up. If not for the tenor sound to the voice, he would have sworn it was Hercules. Ares bit his lip to stop the laugh that threatened to burst forth.

"Well 'Herc'," he said, his voice steady. "What do you propose to do about it?"

Iolaus lunged at Ares, but Ares moved, and Iolaus knocked over a table. "Stay still!"
Iolaus said.

Turning, Iolaus charged again, this time running into a wall. Hercules groaned in his sleep.

'Time to take this elsewhere,' Ares thought. 'Anything happens to little brother and my sister's *will* kill me.' He looked down at his brother, tossing about now. 'He *does* look awfully cute when he's asleep.' This last thought brought him up short. 'Cute?' Ares shrugged, figuring he'd sort his thoughts out later.

Aloud he said, "Okay 'Herc' want me...I'll be at my temple."

That said, he vanished, and Iolaus walked to the bed, kissed Herc on the forehead, said, "It'll be okay Iolaus," turned and headed for the temple. 'His brother' had done enough today.

Leaving the inn, Iolaus headed straight for Ares' temple. On the way over, he saw two thugs twice his size picking on an old man. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" he said calmly. The two men turned, looked at him, and burst out laughing. One charged Iolaus, grabbing him around the waist and tackling him, the other ready to help if neccessary. Iolaus responded by shifting his body so he could throw the thug over him, which he did, said thug landing in a pile of horse shit. The other, bigger then the first, unsheathed his sword, and went for Iolaus, whose back was turned.

Ares was watching, and the moment thug two drew his sword, he found himself flat on his back, having slipped in yet more horse shit that had somehow appeared at his feet. Iolaus turned, but thug two stood and ran off, and thug one managed to pull himself up and did the same.

"You should have *more* respect for people," Iolaus shouted. He helped the old man up.  "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, thanks to you...who are you anyway?"

"Hercules," Iolaus said, with a big smile. He walked toward Ares' temple.

'I thought Hercules would be taller....' the old man thought.

Iolaus reached Ares temple and walked in carefully, his eyes going everywhere, knowing 'his brother' was hiding.

"Ares! Come out here...what did *you* do to Iolaus?!" His voice echoed thru the temple. "ARES!"

'Now this should be fun,' Ares thought. Aloud..."Here I am 'little brother'...give it your best shot." He appeared in front of Iolaus, and Iolaus tackled him, running him into the wall. Ares went down, and Iolaus stood back, watching the God very carefully.

Ares stood, and did a running jump, hitting Iolaus square in the chest. Iolaus went down, and Ares ran over to him. 'I hope I didn't hurt him.' But Iolaus wasn't hurt...just a bit dazed. As soon as Ares was within reach, Iolaus swept his feet out, knocking Ares flat on his back. Jumping up quick, ('he has the speed of a God,' Ares thought), he pounced on Ares chest, pulling his fist back, ready to pummel 'his brother'.

Ares, however, rolled them over so he was atop Iolaus. He made a fist, ready to send Iolaus to Morpheus, when his eyes looked into Iolaus'. In all the years he'd known him, fought him, and generally made his and Herc's lives miserable, Ares had never noticed just how blue Iolaus' eyes were. His heart skipped a beat, and he leaned down, kissing the hunter hard on the lips.

"What are you doing?!" Iolaus shouted, trying to throw Ares off of him. The God was too heavy, however, and Iolaus could do nothing but lie there.

"Something I think I should have done a long time ago!" Ares growled. Pulling Iolaus into a sitting position, he kissed him again, letting his tongue linger in Iolaus' mouth. When Ares broke the kiss, Iolaus just stared at him, then pulled Ares' mouth back, returning the kiss with a fury. When *this* kiss was broken, both men were panting, sweating, and staring at each other, two pair of eyes black with desire and want.

"Ares...." Iolaus whispered, his voice so husky and deep and filled with lust, that Ares eyes widened in surprise. Iolaus pulled him in for another kiss, easing the God's vest off of him, then pulling off his own. He pushed Ares back on the floor, pulling the God's boots off, and easing his pants part of the way down, just far enough so Ares' cock was peeking out from the waistband. He leaned down, licking the head, and Ares threw his head back, smacking it on the floor. Iolaus smiled at this reaction, and continued to tease the God, until both needed more. Sitting back up, Iolaus pulled Ares' pants off, and got a wicked smile when Ares cock was freed from its confinement. "Just for me...." he moaned, then swooped down like a bird of prey, taking the thick shaft into his mouth, his lips and tongue working in tandem, bringing Ares feelings the God had never felt. Pure bliss. Pure ecstasy.

Iolaus worked his mouth up and down, his hands lightly caressing Ares' inner thighs while he played, and Ares began to thrust into the hunter's mouth, grabbing him by the hair, pulling him closer. Iolaus moved his hands to Ares' hips, holding the God still, while his mouth drove Ares to the edge.

"IOLAUS!" The God shouted, and spilled his seed down Iolaus' throat. Iolaus swallowed until there was no more left for Ares to give. Ares collapsed, and lay still, moaning for more, and Iolaus stood, kicking off his boots, and pulling his pants off. He knelt between the God's legs and just stared at him. Ares couldn't 'read' Iolaus' face, but he saw that the hunter did not have the same look he had had a few minutes before. Iolaus caressed Ares ass with his fingertips, and shoved two fingers hard into the War God, causing Ares to jump off the floor.

"That's what you get for fantasizing about Iolaus!" Iolaus said. Ares couldn't help the smile that came across his face, his smile quickly turning to a grin as he felt Iolaus' fingers move within him. Iolaus found the God's pleasure spot, and hit it over and over, til Ares was writhing beneath him.

"MORE!!" Ares said, his eyes blazing. "Want you in me...NOW!"

"You're just going to have to wait War God," Iolaus whispered to him. His fingers were moving slower, and he brought his free hand to Ares' cock and began to pump him slowly and gently, knowing the God wanted it hard and fast. His own erection, however, was hard and wanting for release, and Iolaus couldn't wait anymore. He removed his fingers, and placed his cock at the tightness before him, and sheathed his cock in one move, once again causing Ares to jump. Iolaus laughed and pulled out until only the head remained inside, and thrust back in, moving at all different angles til his cock hit Ares' pleasure center again. He stroked Ares' cock faster now, his grip tighter, and they moved together, Iolaus setting the rhythm, Ares following.

"I'm going to fill you now Ares," Iolaus said, his voice panting and ragged. "Are you ready for me?" It was more of a statement then a question, and Iolaus pounded him harder.

"Yes..." Ares moaned. "Please...more...." Ares voice wasn't much stronger, and he pushed up at the hunter, trying to pull him deeper inside.

"!" Iolaus shouted, and shot his load into the God. Iolaus stroked him harder and faster, listening to the God's moans of pleasure, and smiled when Ares bucked his body up, and came over Iolaus' hand. Iolaus continued to stroke him, til the God, once again, collapsed on the floor, a satiated, boneless heap of man. Iolaus gentled himself from Ares, and lay atop him, kissing him, touching him, getting him hard again.

"IOLAUS!!" came a voice from the other side of the room. "*What* are you doing!"

Iolaus and Ares both looked up to see Hercules and Aphrodite standing there.

"What did you call me?" Iolaus asked, a confused look on his face.

"Iolaus." said Hercules. "That's your name."

"Iolaus," Iolaus said. "What's got into you?"

"*I'm not Iolaus!" Herc shouted. "*YOU ARE!*"

"No," said the hunter. "You are...I'm Hercules. You know...demigod, hero, and all around good guy."

"Aphrodite," Herc said, turning to his sister. "Will you please fix this? I can't take much more."

Aphrodite knelt beside the hunter. "Sweetcheeks, *you* are Iolaus. *He* is Hercules. This is *my* fault and I am going to fix it right now." She waved her hand and a flask appeared. "Drink this and things will be back to normal."

"Things *are* normal," said Iolaus.

"Well they need to be more normal. Okay? Now please drink this." Her face was such that Iolaus smiled at her and said "Okay." He took the flask and drank, the oddest look coming over his face, and he collapsed.

Seeing the look on Herc's face, 'Dite quickly said, "It's okay Herc. He'll be fine."

Herc nodded. "You have anything to stop the drummers beating in my head?" He asked her, holding his head, rubbing his temples.

"Sorry bro'," she said with a smile. "You're going to have to recover from your hangover on your own. Teach you to drink too much."

Ares finally moved, standing up, and with a wave of his hand, he and Iolaus were cleaned and clothed.

"How could you do this Ares?" Herc asked. "Taking advantage of Iolaus like this."

"*I* took advantage?! He threw himself at me. Not the other way around. I didn't force him to do anything against his will."

"Herc," Aphrodite said gently, placing herself between her brothers. "This was Iolaus' choice. Whether or not he thought he was you, his physical feelings were his own. I wouldn't worry about it tho. *He* does love you. Trust me on that. Please don't fight."

Hercules gave his brother a murderous look, and looked back at his sister. "I'll let this go...for now. I just want to get Iolaus out of here."

"You know," Ares said with a grin, "he did get *you* down pat. And it could have been worse. He could have thought he was someone else. But I would be quite happy to have him back as Iolaus. *One* Hercules is enough for me."

Iolaus began to stir, and Herc knelt, leaning over him. "Hey okay?" He stroked the hunter's cheek, and Iolaus' eyes opened. He jumped up, and pushed Hercules away.

"!" He growled. "And *I* am not your buddy!"

"Uh-oh," 'Dite said.

"Uh-oh?" Ares asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Herc asked.

Iolaus stood and stared at them. "Why don't you two goody-goodies get out of *my* temple!"

"*Your* temple?" Ares asked.

Herc looked into Iolaus' eyes. "Who are you?"

Iolaus looked at him with fire in his eyes and replied, "I am Ares, GOD OF WAR!"

Herc and Ares looked at each other, said "OH NO!" and both fainted.

Iolaus walked over to them, and giggled. He looked at Aphrodite. "Well, Ares won't think of me the same way again, and as for Herc...well, I don't think he'll take me for granted anymore."

Aphrodite tilted her head and stared at him. "Sweetcheeks, you're you!"

"Of course I'm me," Iolaus said, still grinning. "Who else would I be?"

"But...I don't understand." She was more confused then usual.

"I was sick of Herc acting like my parent, so when you gave me that potion, I decided to make the most of it. I couldn't tell you it didn't work and for that I'm sorry. But I *had* to do this. For both of them. Maybe they won't fight so much anymore. It was getting kind of ridiculous. I was at the point where I was going to start lecturing Herc on fighting with his big brother. But this was better."

"Iolaus, when they find out they are both going to kill you. You know that don't you?"

"Don't you mean *if* they find out? Because I'm not telling, and I'm going to assume you won't either."

'Dite giggled. "No...I don't think so. I think you're right tho. Maybe they won't fight so much anymore."

Iolaus sat on Ares' throne and made himself comfortable. "Now I just wait til they wake up and then maybe the three of us can have some fun." He had a wicked grin on his face. "Care to join us?"

"Nope," Aphrodite said. "Gotta get back to Hephie...I haven't seen him in three days. To busy hiding from Herc. I'll see ya around Curly." That said she vanished.

Iolaus looked down at the two men on the floor, who were just beginning to stir. He relaxed in the throne, one leg flung over the armrest, leaning back, as he had seen Ares do quite a few times. 'Yep,' he thought. 'This is gonna be fun.'

The End