"Strife, I need you."
So I thought, cool. I mean, how often do I hear Ares say that outside of my dreams? I figure Unc's finally realized just how talented I am and he needs me to help him start a war. Or maybe he's decided to give me that promotion I've been hinting about for the past decade -- "God of Torment" has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?
Anyway, I'm here now and I'm totally confused. We're all in one of the bedrooms inside the War God's temple: me and -- Gods, why? -- Cupid and Ares and some mortal with a major fashion problem. I guess me and feather-boy are just s'posed to kick back and play voyeur while Unc and the skinny little mortal go at it.
Well so much for my promotion. And I don't even get why.
Sure, Uncle Ares really digs being watched when he's boffing someone, but he's never called me in just for that and I *know* he's never used Cupid. So why now? And what's up with the walking scrap metal collection? Unc's never that hard up for someone to boink.
I'm really missing something here. But I don't ask. I think maybe I can still figure it out on my own. I can't read the mortal's mind -- well I can, but if he's Ares' new boy-toy then Unc won't want me playing look-see in the little geek's head. I'm sure not gonna ask Uncle Ares. He's got that look on his face. The one that says, "if you bother me I'll turn you into a permanent part of the wall." No thanks.
That leaves Cupid. I don't wanna ask him. I don't even wanna be standing here next to him. Why'd he have to be here? And why's he whispering to me?
Oh. So that's what's up.
Seems the fashion disaster -- Joxer -- was trying to bag a couple of the girls who serve in Unc's temple. Bad move anyway, but the mortal made it worse. He was bragging to them that he was as good a lay as Ares. Obviously the guy's crazy but Unc still called him on it.
That's why we're all here. Joxer's gotta prove what he said's true. If he can make Ares come then he wins. If he doesn't, he loses. And the stakes -- I can't help smirking a bit as Cupid fills me in on that part. No way is the God of War gonna lose. No way he can afford to lose, not with these stakes.
The mortal wants witnesses. Wants to make sure Ares keeps up his end of the deal. So Joxer chose the God of Love and Uncle Ares chose me. It all makes sense. Cupid'll be fair and impartial and all that moralistic crap, and I'm in Unc's corner. I'm the God of Mischief. He knows he can count on me to do something to tip the odds in his favor, if he needs it. Course he won't. 'Cause he's a god and no mortal's gonna beat him.
Still, this could be fun. Haven't seen Unc in action for awhile. He'll probably bang Joxer 'till the mortal can't walk and then keep going 'till Joxer admits that he was wrong. Wonder if....Nope. No ropes or manacles or anything in sight. Oh well. Might still be interesting.
A snap of his fingers and Ares is naked and on the bed, leaving the mortal to fumble out of his clothes -- or whatever that stuff's supposed to be. I'm not paying much attention to Joxer anyway. I'm busy checking out the God of War.
Me and Unc do the horizontal tango sometimes. Not as much as I want but it happens. I don't get to look at him a lot when we do. He's more of a 'bend over and brace yourself' type, not into foreplay. And that's okay. I like it like that. Only thing is I really wish I could just look at him sometimes, ya know? Just admire him or something. Problem is we never make it outta our clothes so I don't get to see much. I don't got that problem now.
He's hot. Anyone who's ever seen him knows that. But seeing him in the buff -- oh man. That bod and those looks combined with that bad-boy attitude and I'm getting turned on just looking at him. I'm not even thinking 'bout what I wanna do with him. If I did that I wouldn't be able to think straight 'nuff to keep track of what's going on here. But maybe I don't need to. Ares can take care of this. He don't really need me. Maybe I can just stare at him and do a bit of fantasizing....
Cupid's gasp of surprise distracts me. Cupid who I'm ignoring. Who I can't help but hear. Yanked back from my wishful thinking I now see the shocked look on the War God's face. Seeing where it's directed I shift my attention over to Joxer.
Well fuck me! How in Tartarus did a mortal end up hung like *that*?
I probably look like an idiot, standing there with my mouth hanging open, but Ares and Cupid aren't looking any better. They can't figure it out either. Maybe the fates decided to be nice to him. I mean, he got shorted in the looks and smarts departments, so maybe this was compensation or something. Actually though, now that he's got that stupid metal shit off he's not looking too bad. Kinda cute, maybe a little more than that if ya add in that nice ass and that...damn, I know some Centaurs who could only *wish* they had that.
Joxer's trying not to smile. I can see it. He knew the reaction he'd get and I'll bet he knows exactly what he's doing here. Maybe this won't be so one- sided after all.
I expect him to just go down on Ares but he doesn't. Unc's kinda on the surprised side too. I can see it on his face when Joxer sits on the bed and reaches up to caress his cheek.
That kind of sweet and gentle stuff never did go over well with Unc. It's totally obvious that Ares wants this to be fast and rough just like it always is with him. But it looks like the mortal's not gonna get with the program.
Joxer's kissing him, his neck, his chest; and I think Unc's starting to like it. Nothing wrong with that as long as he stays in control. The mortal's hands are busy, touching Ares, stroking down his back, nails scraping lightly. He's tonguing Ares' nipple, sucking gently. And then he bites.
Good move. Unc hisses sharply, his hands moving up to grasp the mortal's hair, to hold him there. When he realizes what he's doing he quickly lets go.
Joxer is already moving up. He kisses Ares, hard, tongues meeting, battling. And then he pulls away, his lips brushing across Ares' cheek to the War God's ear which he nips.
Alternating between hard and soft bites he works his way back down to Ares' chest. Without stopping, he slides off the bed and drops to his knees in front of Unc. His hands are moving slowly up Ares' thighs, parting them so he can kneel between them.
And he still doesn't go for it. He lets his hair trail over Ares' cock, making Unc groan, but that's all. His mouth fastens on the inside of Ares' thigh. He's sucking and biting, leaving marks as he works his way upwards, taking his time. When he finally stops to look up at the War God, he smiles, licking his lips.
A soft voice near my ear tries to draw my attention but it's not gonna happen. I'm not gonna let *him* get to me. I'm too into what's going on here. The way Joxer's hands are moving up Ares' stomach, the raw lust on the mortal's face...but the voice is insistent, telling me...what? That can't be right.
I look at Unc and it's true. Ares is way gone. The way he's looking at Joxer, like he wants to jump the mortal...oh man, this wasn't s'posed to happen. I need to distract Unc, give him time to get back with it. But the hand on my shoulder stops me from doing anything.
It's more than enough to make me miss my opportunity to help Unc. All I can do now is watch as Joxer, hands flat on Ares' stomach, pushes him back, at the same time taking the long, thick cock deep into his mouth. Drawing back slowly his teeth graze lightly over the sensitive skin of the head. That has Ares crying out, trying to push back into that mouth. But Joxer doesn't let him. The mortal pulls back completely and begins running his tongue over every inch of the stiff cock.
Cursing raggedly Ares grabs him by the hair and pushes his head down. This time Joxer lets him have his way. Sucking down hard he takes the entire cock in, drawing another cry from the War God. He doesn't pause. He's taking it fast now and he's got Ares groaning and fighting desperately for whatever's left of his control.
Talk about *way* too late.
It happens almost at the same time. Ares, thrusting hard into the mortal's mouth, nearly screams as he comes. And Joxer, his nails digging into the War God's thighs, swallows and comes at the same time.
Fuck. What a show! Gods, I can't believe how hard I am and I can't do nothing 'bout it. Unc would have my head on a platter if he caught me enjoying this -- and let me tell ya, it's a real bitch reattaching those things.
Ares is sprawled out on the bed, Joxer at his feet leaning on the bed, both gasping for air. And I got a problem.
No, besides that.
See, the rules of this little game say that if Joxer came first then he lost, didn't matter if Ares came or not. Problem is, he didn't. I mean, Unc was only ahead of him by a sec or two but that's all it took. Joxer won.
But I don't gotta admit that. See, Joxer knows he won and Cupid knows it too, but Unc's gonna say that the mortal lost. All I gotta do is agree with Ares and we got a tie. That means they'd have to do it all again and since Unc knows what Joxer can do now he won't get surprised and he'll win. That's fact, not bragging. The mortal won't have a chance. I just gotta side with Ares like I always do.
They're all looking at me.
Joxer's expression is so open. He's scared of what I'll say 'cause he knows he can't win a second time. He's practically begging me to tell the truth.
I'm not about to look at Cupid. Got too many issues there. Thought I'd dealt with 'em but guess not. Besides, I already know how he's looking at me. I know all his expressions, just as well as I know him. I don't need anything else confusing me right now.
Then there's Ares. He's sitting now, cleaned up, his clothes back in place, and that look he's giving me. Yeah. I know that one. He's telling me what'll happen to me if I don't make things go his way. Course he's already gonna mess me up a little just 'cause I saw him lose to a mortal, but if I don't do this for him I don't think there's any good descriptions for what he'll do to me.
And that's really what decides it for me.
For Joxer losing means losing his life. Like I care? And lying about this will probably make Cupid disappointed with me or something and maybe that does bother me but I can deal. No, none of that really worries me. Basically I'm just gonna follow the advice of one of the great philosophers: "if you're gonna screw up, screw up big time." Unc's already planning on messing me up so I might as well do something to deserve it.
So I tell 'em that Joxer won.
Joxer grins wickedly at Ares and Cupid doubles over with laughter. Unc is just staring at me, his expression a mixture of shock and fury.
Cupid's still laughing. He's gotta get it out now 'cause I know he's not crazy enough to stick around to see Ares pay up on *this* wager. But for what I'm gonna suffer for this ya better believe I'm gonna see every single moment of it. It'll be more than enough to get me through whatever Unc does to me later.
Joxer's almost finished dressing. He's still grinning and he's definitely got a right. He wants Ares to pay up now and I agree, reminding Unc that he's got to. The look he gives me tells me to enjoy this while I can.
And then we leave the temple...and arrive at the center of the camp in a fraction of a second.
A quick glance around shows everyone present although kinda startled. Xena and Hercules and their little blond side-kicks, and even Autolycus. Cool. Full house. This is gonna be some major fun. I drop down beside Iolaus and focus on Unc, waiting.
With a brief glare in Joxer's direction Ares clears his throat and begins:
"Joxer the Mighty, Master of Virility....