Revenge Can Be Such A Hoot
By Cassandra
"Damn!" Ares cursed as he materialized in his temple near Amphipolis.  The wall was still open from the explosion, but his priest had straightened up his altar.  The ever-ready goblet of wine was sitting on its pedestal.  Looking around for something to break, he picked up a large urn and threw it against the wall.  *How dare she?  After all that I've done for her?  How dare Xena reject me?  Doesn't she realize that I am the only hope for that bastard daughter of hers?*  He swept one of the skull candleholders off his altar.  His blood pounded through his head as it broke into pieces on the stone floor of the temple, the candles rolling themselves out.

He grabbed the goblet that was sitting on his altar and drew back his arm to throw it, but drops of it's red wine splattered on top of his hand and stopped him.  He looked at the crimson droplets, comparing them to human blood spilled in the name of war.  Slowly, he brought his arm up, licking away the wine; his tongue rasping against the skin reminded him of the feel of Xena's mouth on his chest.   *By the gods, he had wanted her!*  His body still ached with residual desire.  At that moment, when he had laid
underneath her, he would have given anything to possess her.  He would have given up his godhood, given up all the wars, all the fighting, if he could have only lost himself inside the warrior princess for that brief moment.

He drank back the wine, sighing as it warmed his stomach.  It was a good thing, he decided, that Xena didn't realize how much he would have been willing to give up.  No mortal should have that power.  It was bad enough that Xena knew that he desired her and that she used that knowledge to play him against his sister Athena.  What would she do if she knew that he actually loved her?   If she knew that a mere mortal could bring Ares, the god of war, to his knees?

"I felt nothing," Xena had said.  Ares snorted.  *Right!*  He'd been there, lying under her.  He had felt her nipples in tight little buds pressing against his chest, the desire in her kisses and smelled her arousal.  He had felt her grind her pelvis against his crotch.  He had enough experience with mortals to know when a woman wanted a man.

Gods, he would love to take Xena just so that he could rub Gabrielle's sanctimonious nose in it.  She was such a pest that it took all of his strength just to resist blasting her out of existence.  The only reason he didn't was that he knew Xena would never forgive him.

Now, what was he going to do?  Wait around for Xena to come begging to him?   "I don't think so," Ares said aloud, rubbing his beard.  Xena had tricked and rejected him.  That had to be punished.

Suddenly he smiled.  He knew exactly how to punish Xena, yet at the same time, get what he wanted in the long run.  With a thought he transported himself to Olympus.

* * *

"Ares, you aren't welcome here," Morpheus repeated after hearing Ares' request.

"Come on Morpheus, you owe me," Ares said, his hands on his hips, chest thrust out.  He tried to look as intimidating as possible, but Morpheus never seemed unsettled by him.  *What was it with these minor gods?   Didn't they have any respect?*

"Why don't you ask your whore to help you?" the god of dreams spit out.  "Oh, that's right, she's the one you want to fuck."

"Now, that isn't nice," Ares said, barely preventing himself from knocking Morpheus on his ass.  His sister Aphrodite was always telling him that you catch more bees with honey than vinegar, but Morpheus was really asking for it.

"It's not nice that Zeus is dead, either.  For gods sake, Ares, he was your father!" Morpheus said, angrily.  "You're siding with the mortal bitch who caused his death.  I heard about you rutting after her like a dog in heat."

"Morpheus, I don't want to debate with you.  I just want the card."  Ares crossed his arms.  "You know, you owe me.  That little issue with the Furies I took care of a few years back?  And if things go as I plan, then you won't have to worry about Xena or her baby.  I'll take care of them.  When I'm finished, they won't be a threat to any of the gods."

"All right, all right," Morpheus said, picking up a deck of cards, carefully picking one out and giving it to Ares.

"It will allow me to enter her dreams?" Ares asked as he picked the out of the air.

"Yes, yes.  Take the card and get out.  And don't come back.  You've used up all your favors, so this better work.  If things keep going the way they are, there won't be any of us left anyway."

* * *

He spent the few hours until sundown checking up on a scattering of minor wars.  No matter what that 'prophet' Eli said about people not needing gods, there would always be wars.  No matter how peaceful humanity became, mortals could be relied on to be greedy and self-centered.  It was the human condition.

When Ares finished, his heart was pumping hard and he was covered with blood and gore.  Most of his anger had been burnt away, leaving the pure steel need for revenge.  Gods, how he loved a good fight!  He could have cleaned himself with a thought, but the decadence of a long hot soak appealed to him.  When he appeared in his castle, his bath was ready.  He stripped off the leather and eased himself into a large gold tub filled with hot water.

He leaned back, all of his muscles obeying his command to relax.  The water lapped over his skin like a caress.  *Some of the human luxuries were made for gods.*  He dunked his head into the water and soaped it, running his fingers through the short hair.  He really liked his new hairstyle, much easier to manage.  And it never got in his way anymore.  No more stray strands in his eyes or mouth.  Lazily grabbing the soap, he rubbed his arms and legs, cleaning off the grime.  He rubbed his chest, hissing when he
wiped across a nipple.  His cock gave a nudge in response and he stroked his
other nipple, pinching it.

He remembered what Xena looked like immersed in her bath, the steam rising off the water coming up to the dark areolas of her nipples. Then, her breasts as she stood up had been so round, like they were made to fit into his palms.  Now, after Eve, they would be heavy with milk, begging him to suckle.  He imagined her milk would taste like nectar of the gods.

Moving his soapy hand down, he briefly washed his abdomen before tracing his way down to his groin.  His cock was filling; a few strokes had it standing at attention.  He thought of calling one of his servants to take care of the situation, but dismissed that idea.  He didn't want to share this fantasy with anyone.  Making a fist around his cock, he leaned back and closed his eyes.

Xena, her long luxurious hair piled on top of her head, smiled at him invitingly.  She stood up; the droplets of water shining on her body as she stepped out of the tub.  She walked to the fur covered bed and lay on it.  Beckoning her to join him, she patted the bed.  As he joined her on the furs, she threw him down on the bed, and jumped on top of him.  Taking his lips, she kissed him with a furious passion.  Moving down, she nipped his nipple with her sharp teeth, before sucking it sharply in her mouth.  Releasing it, she ran her tongue over it, soothing the little pain.   She ground her pelvis against him briefly before scooting down so that she was sitting on his thighs.  Her eyes were on his groin and she licked her lips in lust.  Bending over, she enveloped his cock with her mouth.  He groaned as he thrust himself into her willing mouth.  She accepted him, sucking his cock, before releasing it to run her tongue along its surface.  *This was

His hand moved quickly up and down on his cock, squeezing and releasing.  His other hands caressed his balls as Xena grabbed his testicles and gently squeezed.  He moaned when her mouth left his cock, but then she licked his balls, then sucked one, then the other into her warm mouth.  Her hands were busy, rubbing his cock, his nipples, moving down to his balls and the area directly behind, rubbing his anus with a teasing finger.

"Do you want to fuck me, Ares?" Xena asked, her voice husky.  "Or would you like me to fuck you?"  As she said that, she inserted her finger deep within him, searching, then finding his gland at the same time taking him back into her mouth.

That did it.  Ares fucked her mouth desperately hard, entering her throat in deep thrusts as the finger fucked him.  With a roar, he climaxed, his seed being swallowed by the bubbling water.

*Ahh, that was better!*  Not quite as satisfying as the real thing would be, but it did relieve a bit of the tension.  Whet his appetite, so to speak.  It wouldn't do to burn his passion out too quickly.  He really wanted Xena to suffer.

He stepped out of the tub and looked at the leathers lying on the floor.  He could clean them or materialize another pair, but he decided on a different approach.  After drying himself with a towel, wincing when the clothed rubbed a sensitive nipple...he had been a bit enthusiastic...he clothed himself in black silk pants and vest.  Rubbing his hand up and down the material, he nodded approval.  Very sensuous.  And much easier for Xena to remove.

He ran a hand through his hair and every strand was perfectly in place.  Looking in a mirror, he judged himself as ready as he'd ever be.  He briefly thought of asking Cupid for the use of his bow and arrows, but rejected it.  He was a God for gods' sake.  There was no woman alive that could resist him.  Taking a deep breath, he murmured 'I hope.'

* * *

 Making sure he had Morpheus' card, he vanished to materialize in Amphipolis outside Cyrene's tavern.  She lived in the back of the tavern.  All was quiet.  The drinkers and revelers had all gone home after celebrating the victory of the day.  The rooms in back were also dark.  He could just imagine Xena's mother chasing every one off, telling them to go home, that they had a baby whom needed some sleep.

 Ares knew that Xena could sometimes sense him, but he was betting on her being asleep.  He had visited her before when she had been sleeping and never had disturbed her slumber.  But to be on the safe side, he waved his hand and sent all the mortals within the house into a deep sleep.  This way, there wouldn't be any interruptions.  The last thing he needed was that little sidekick to walk in at the wrong moment.

 He walked into the house and unerringly to the room where Xena slept with her baby lying in an old cradle at her bedside.  He was willing to bet that that same cradle had held Xena when she had been a baby.  Gabrielle was sleeping in another bed in the next room.

 He looked at the sleeping baby, thinking how easy it would be to kill her and salve the rest of the gods' concerns.  But he was Ares, the God of War, and not some simpering, whining god.  He looked out for himself.  He didn't care about making his sisters, brothers or even his mother happy.  He wanted to assure his continued existence and only siding with Xena and Eve could do that.  He wished that he could rid Xena of Gabrielle, but it was a package deal.  Unfortunately, until she died a natural death, Gabrielle was a permanent fixture.  If he killed her and Xena found out about it, he was toast.

 But that didn't mean that he couldn't have a little fun at the little blonde's  expense.  He smiled.  Oh, this was definitely going to be fun.

 He took out the card, crushed it in his hands and carefully blew the dust into Xena's face.  He made sure none reached the baby.  He might be a vicious killer, but he wasn't cruel...well, at least to babies.

 Xena breathed in the dust and sighed.  Ares could see her eyes moving back and forth under her eyelids.  Almost there.  After waiting a moment, he concentrated and slipped into her dream, making himself invisible.

 //Xena was bathing alone in a pool fed by a waterfall with Argo tied to a branch of a nearby tree.  A campsite was set up a short distance away.  The water was cool on her overheated skin.  They had ridden hard today.  Both she and Argo deserved a rest.  She stood under the waterfall and let the water wash her hair clean of the dust and grime of the journey.  She ran her fingers through the wet strands, scrubbing at her scalp.  Her wet bangs flopped in her eyes as she shook her hair.  It was about time to let Gabrielle to cut her bangs again.

 After she was as clean as she could get, she swam a few laps of the pool.  It felt so good to stretch after being on a horse all day.  The late afternoon sun shone off the surface of the water, causing it to sparkle like diamonds.  Walking out of the water, she grabbed a towel from her bag and dried herself off, then wrapped it around her head to soak up the water.  She grabbed a blanket and lay it out next to the campsite on the grass.  She lay down prone on the blanket, allowing the sun and light breeze to dry her back.

 Her muscles were tight and she tried to relax them, but she really wished Gabrielle were here to give her one of those full body massages.  As soon as she completed the thought, warm strong hands were rubbing her back, starting at her neck.  She startled at first, then relaxed as the hands did their magic.

 "That's good, right there!  Dig in," Xena moaned.  The hands massaged deeply her back muscles, long smooth strokes that dissolved the knotted muscles.  "Oh, that's heaven."

 She felt something wet dribble on her back, and then the hands were rubbing it in.  She recognized the smell of sandalwood oil.  The hands moved down her back, reaching every muscle, concentrating on her lower back right above her buttocks.  She melted a little more.

 The hands disappeared and she couldn't help a moan of disappointment, but then they started in on her right foot.  She jerked, her body automatically assuming a tickle, but the strong fingers massaged the bottom of her foot firmly, working the muscles and soothing the aches she hadn't realized she had.  The hands made their way up her calf, taking their time to cover the area completely.  When they reach her thigh, just short of her buttocks, they switched legs and made their way down her left leg.  By the time they reached her left foot, she was totally relaxed.   They made their way back up her legs to her buttocks.

 The firm massaged turned to lighter strokes and she squirmed.  Her legs automatically spread apart a bit and the fingers moved to her inner thighs, lightly stroking her flesh.  A finger inadvertently touched her labia and she moaned.  She spread her legs further apart and the fingers obviously took that as permission to explore.

 A new kind of ache started deep in her body.  The fingers spread apart the outer lips and gently rubbed the entrance to her womb.  She could feel the wetness and knew it had not come from the oil.  One finger slipped inside, while another slipped into her inner lips and found her clitoris.  It rubbed it over and over causing her to moan and writhe.

 She felt her legs spread further apart and the hands slipped under her to bring her buttocks up in the air.  Then, a tongue touched her, licking, gently nipping.

 "Ahhhh!" she cried, but the tongue kept up the stimulation.  One arm came under her to support her and the other hand parted her labia so the tongue could reach her clitoris.  The touch was electric.

 "Oh my god!" she cried.

 A deep chuckle tickled her as the tongue stopped its stimulation.  *That wasn't Gabrielle!*   She jerked, trying to see who was, but the voice told her what she wanted to know.

 "At your service," the purring voice said.

 "Ares!  I should have known!"  She twisted her body, so that she was on her back her hands holding the grinning God of War at arm's length.

He was as naked as she was, his legs straddling her body.  She tried to keep her eyes focused on his face, but couldn't help looking at his groin.  His sex was erect and definitely worthy of a god.  She closed her eyes against the vision.

"Yes, I wondered about that," Ares said, running a hand down her outstretched arms.  "You usually sense me before I show up."

 She opened her eyes.

 "I must have been distracted.  You've got to go."

 "Oh, but you haven't come yet."  His eyes were wicked and promised pleasure.  "Come on Xena," he urged.  "I can make you feel so good.  And no strings attached.  Just pure bliss."

 He brought his buttocks down so that he sat lightly on her legs, his cock lying hot against her thigh, his testicles soft and full.  Both of his hands were now on her arms, rubbing lightly.  She licked her suddenly dry lips as she looked at his full lips.

 "Give into the pleasure," he purred, his eyes looking directly into hers as he bent closer.  Her elbows bent as his arms encircled her, bringing her up closer to him.  She felt the chest hairs against her nipples and shivered.

 "I shouldn't...."  The words weren't convincing, even to Xena.

 "Be with me."  The eyes were mesmerizing.  "You know you want to."

 *Gods, yes, she wanted to.  She wanted to so bad.  But she shouldn't.*

 He leaned over the last inch and pressed his lips against hers, lightly.  She froze.  He ran his tongue over the bottom lip slowly.  It had to be the most erotic thing she'd ever felt.//

 She gave in.  Ares felt the exact moment.  *Yes!*  Her arms came up and grabbed hold of him and her lips felt like they were eating him alive.  She arched against him, searching for more stimulation.  One of her hands grabbed his hair, holding him to her.

 He licked her nipple, suckling it, tasting the milk that made them so full.  It *was* better than ambrosia.  She arched more, urging him on.  He held back, not wanting to hurt her.  Even though she was Xena, she was a mortal.  After accidentally killing a mortal lover in the midst of passion, he always held back.  Xena seemed to sense it.

 "Give it to me, you bastard!" she moaned, as she pulled his hair, forcing his lips to one of her breasts.  "If you're going to fuck me, fuck me!"

The words made him burn.  No woman had ever inflamed his blood the way Xena did.

He had to have her...but not like this, not in a dream.  This was just preparation. He had to bring her awake. If he miscalculated, he'd pay.  He'd be lucky if he'd escape with his cock and balls intact.

He left the nipple and made his way up to her neck.  He bit just hard enough to make a mark, but not break the skin, then moved to her ear.  He whispered sweet nothings and she writhed as he nibbled on the lobe.  Finally, he caught her lips with his own and kissed her passionately.  His tongue dueled with hers as slowly released his hold over her dreams.

He continued kissing her as he felt her slowly rise up out of Morpheus' clutches. *Gods, let this work*   Even clothed in his black silk, he was vulnerable to attack here.

Her eyes opened and she looked at him over her.  Desire and distress were mixed in her expression.  Her eyes flew to the cradle next to the bed.  Relief was plain on her face.

"Eve is fine," Ares said.  "You must know that I'd never harm her."

"I know nothing," Xena said, trying to distance herself from the God of War.  Ares was sure it was a difficult task with him practically sitting on top of her.

"You know that I fought my own sister to save her..." He forestall Xena's interruption.  "I don't care if it was your 'dolly'.  I believed it was Eve.  What more can I do to prove my devotion to you?"

"Leave me alone?" Xena asked.  Even Ares could hear the uncertainty in her voice.

"Is that what you really want?" Ares asked, kissing her neck below her ear.  He could feel her shiver then swallow convulsively.

"Yes," Xena breathed, at the same time, craning her neck to give him more room.  He kissed his way down to her cleavage then back up to the other side of her neck.

"Liar," he whispered in her ear, then kissed her lips, stilling her protests.

He felt her give in again when she started kissing him back.

Suddenly, she rolled him over and jumped on top of him, straddling him right above his groin.  His swollen cock strained in his pants against the cleft of her ass.  She torn aside the vest and nipped and kissed her way down his neck to his chest.  Latching onto one of his nipples, she sucked it into her mouth, teething it, sending a jolt of lust straight to his cock.

"You do realize that this changes nothing," she said, panting as strained to slide the silk down his hips.  "I'll never worship you, all you'll have is my body...and if you hurt Eve, I'll kill you myself."

Ares knew she was serious.  He nodded as he helped her, by kicking off the pants.

"Eve has my protection," Ares said.  "She will not be hurt by my hand.  If it's within my power, no other god will hurt her either."

Xena nodded agreement, then raised herself and grabbing his cock, slowly impaled herself on it.

Ares gasped as the sensation of being enveloped in Xena's warmth threatened to overload his senses.  She barely gave him time to recover before she started thrusting up and down on him in a brutal rhythm.

"Slow down," Ares said, panting.  "Even gods have limits.  If you keep going at this pace, it will be over before it's begun."

"What?  The God of War is finding it difficult to keep *up* with a mere mortal?" Xena asked wickedly.

Ares smirked at her, before reversing their positions so that Xena lay on her back underneath him.  He chuckled at the startled expression on her face.

"I'll keep *up* with you all right," he bit his lip as he thrust into her, trying to keep his mind off the luscious offering underneath him.  He changed the angle of penetration, so that he brushed her clitoris with each inward thrust.  *What could he think of to help him cool down?  Hermes laying in a mud bath.  That'd do it.*

He felt her muscles tighten on his cock as she reacted to the increased stimulation, but he was able to keep control.  Grabbing her arms, he forced them above her head, holding them there easily with one hand.  Keeping up the thrusts, he began nibbling on her neck.  Using his free hand, he pinched and rolled her nipple.  *Now, who was the one writhing in pleasure?*

Her moans were getting louder. Xena wasn't a quiet lover.  It was almost time.  He released his hold over the sleep of the occupant of the next room, but made sure that Eve wouldn't waken.  Nothing killed the mood more than a crying baby did.

Rolling over, he pulled Xena on top of him again, and supported her as she thrust up and down on top of him.  Slipping a hand between them, he found her clitoris, then rubbed it with just enough pressure.  She cried out his name.  As he felt her tighten on him, he released his control, thrusting up in time with Xena's downward thrusts.  He felt his own orgasm spiraling outward when the door opened and Gabrielle rushed in the room.  His last vision before his eyes closed in ecstasy was the look of shock on the bard's face.  The memory of that look made his climax even sweeter.

"Oh, Ares!" Xena breathed as she collapsed on top of him.  His arms came around her, as he took her weight.  He looked up into her lust-dilated eyes, smiling.

"Aren't you glad you finally gave in?" Ares smirked.

Xena shot him a look, but seemed too pleased to complain.

"Xena," Gabrielle called from the next room.

*She must have gone back in after she got an eyeful.*  Ares grinned, wondering what Xena would do.  *This might work out better than he had planned.*

She answered him by jumping up off of him and grabbing a covering.  She bent down and picked Eve up.  The baby slept on.

"Xena," Gabrielle called again.  "Are you all right?  I thought I heard you call out."

"I'm fine Gabrielle, it was just Eve.  Go back to sleep."

"You've got to go.  Now!" Xena urged.  "Please."

He cocked his head to the side.  *She'd actually said please.*

"Why?  Are you ashamed of me?" Ares asked.  "Or of yourself?"

"Neither."  She shook her head.  "Look, it's complicated.  If you go now, I'll come to you later, but you've got to go now."

"Very well."  He nodded.  "Tonight?"

She nodded, and waved her arm, obviously inpatient for him to go.

He stood up and clothed himself with a thought in his leathers.  He went over to Xena and kissed her.

"Until tonight," he whispered in her ear.  "I'll be waiting."

It *had* turned out so much better than he planned.  He winked at her, smiling at her uncomfortable expression as he disappeared.  *Revenge can be such a hoot.*